Mag Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 I met a girl not too long ago, we really hit it off. I knew the moment i met her that there was something completely different about her and wanted to date her. Those feelings have grown substantially since then, im not about to say its love tho. Anyways I asked her on a date, she declined which is alrite. She said it was because she didnt want to ruin the friendship.. yeah yeah i know but this is different than any other time that i have heard it. She told me about an ex who wanted to get back with her but he was too old(im 1 yrs younger), but made a point i wasnt included in that catagory. Theres other things also, but i need some input those i have asked said it sounds like she does like me but probly wants to get to know me better before she were to try anything. I need assistance, badly. Iv never been so attracted to 1 person in my life, its unchated ground for me really. What say you? Link to post Share on other sites
monkophile Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 What other things are there? Perhaps your friends are right that she wants to take it slow and get to know you better, but I can't tell you anymore without knowing more. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 After a girl says "she didn't want to ruin the friendship" you pretty much have a zero percent chance that you will get with her. I really doubt that a girl will want to take it slow and get to know you first. The more time that passes between you two getting together the deeper you are falling into the firendzone. Also a girl can like you but not like you in that way. Yes it sounds stupid but that's they way it is. Link to post Share on other sites
littlewhiterose Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 After a girl says "she didn't want to ruin the friendship" you pretty much have a zero percent chance that you will get with her. I really doubt that a girl will want to take it slow and get to know you first. The more time that passes between you two getting together the deeper you are falling into the firendzone. Also a girl can like you but not like you in that way. Yes it sounds stupid but that's they way it is. Not necessarily so. It doesn't have to be so cut and dry. She may be exercising caution if she's been badly hurt in the past. It's quite a distance (emotionally) to move from 'frozen in fear of being hurt again' to being actively open to a romantic interest, even if the other person has expressed interest. If one's not ready and the other is, it feels like one's being pressured- which causes resistance. OP, I'd suggest hanging out with her a little more, continue the communication but do give yourself a time line. If after such a time she's still expressing the same stuff then it'd be best to move along to someone who's open to receiving a SO...AND appreciative of what you have to offer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mag Posted March 28, 2009 Author Share Posted March 28, 2009 I realize about that friendzone stuff, but why do these other signals indicate otherwise? Uhm im a lil sleepy the only thing i can think of atm is i had asked her 1 night if i could call her "sweety" over txt, which she replied "not tonight". ill have to wake up more before i can think a little better. Its not much but still. She is completely different in so many ways to other girls i know, and yet so similar to myself. I havent given up in the least, if i simply let this stagnate then ill have no chance what so ever. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Not necessarily so. It doesn't have to be so cut and dry. She may be exercising caution if she's been badly hurt in the past. It's quite a distance (emotionally) to move from 'frozen in fear of being hurt again' to being actively open to a romantic interest, even if the other person has expressed interest. If one's not ready and the other is, it feels like one's being pressured- which causes resistance. OP, I'd suggest hanging out with her a little more, continue the communication but do give yourself a time line. If after such a time she's still expressing the same stuff then it'd be best to move along to someone who's open to receiving a SO...AND appreciative of what you have to offer. I have to disagree. I'm 4/4 for friendzone. " I don't want to ruin the friendship" usually means "I have no sexual interest in you and if you keep trying the friendship will be ruined." There's also the "I think it will make things awkward" line. What's completely funny is that when those lines are said, the friendship IS ruined and it has just become awkward. I'm betting that the OP is in the friendzone and will not be able to get out of it. Mag if you do manage to get out you will have accomplished a near impossible feat. Please come back and tell us how you did it. Link to post Share on other sites
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