An Update and What Should I Do AGAIN?????

[Needs Light]

I am the one who has been married 7 months and came home early the other day to catch a flash of my husband running around the corner to another room and a very pretty female co-worker of his sitting on the living room floor.

 

I talked to my husband and asked him why the curtains were all pulled closed and soft music playing and incence burning. Asked him why he shot around the corner so quickly when he heard the keys in the door. He said he was on his way to the bathroom anyway. He said that they were just unwinding from the day and talking. I have NEVER had any reason to believe he would cheat on me. I am very attactive myself (or so I am told all the time, that is) and our sex life is grand. I give "it" to him even when I am sick or dog tired. Well, I told him it looked a bit unusual and not quite kosher. He accused me of being jealous and suspicious minded and that there was nothing going on. One of you said I should see a couselor. Did you mean like a therapist or did you mean a lawyer? You see, even though he told me all was on the up and up, he is very bad at lying and had guilt written all over his face and voice. I am crying my eyes out as I write this because I know that I have to do something ... I don't know what yet ... but I gotta do something! It is true that I feel very little self worth, but, damn! There are so many other men I had to choose from that would never treat me so poorly and I deserve the best future I can possibly make for myself and, hopefully a family one day. I just thank God I have no children at this time. So, should I see a therapist and discuss this episode and my feelings about it or just go straight to a lawyer? If I go to a lawyer, should I tell my husband I am doing so before I go? Or should I just kick his sorry ass out the door (and should I have a cop present when I do that)? So many questions ... SO MANY QUESTIONS! Someone please advise if you would PLEASE!!!

[Tony T]

Please re-read my earlier reply.

 

Again, this man was CLEARLY cheating on your. You continue to be manipulated by his lies. You seem terrified at the thought that your relationship may be winding down. Yes, it is frightful. You say he has a history of lying and deception...but you have a history of buying into it.

 

I will tell you AGAINTHIS MANY WAS SCREWING AROUND WITH ANOTHER WOMAN IN Y-O-U-R HOME. If a man is going to bring another woman in your home for chatting purposes while you are not there, it should be someone both of you know well and you should know in advance.

 

You need to talk to a psychologist...and therapist...whatever you want to call him. You need to talk about your low self-esteem and self-worth. Also, describe this situation and find out what a normal response should be. Talking to this woman and walking her to the door was not the way it should have happened. Your should have kindly informed her that you do not allow strange women in your darkened home with the blinds closed and incense burning while you are at work...and she should leave now.

 

I know this is a traumatic situation for you. You need the support of some trusted friends. But you also need the strength to work on yourself and absolutely put your foot down. Don't you dare let your husband throw this back in your face and accuse you of being jealous. He is the most insensitive, inconsiderate, lying jerk I have read about on these pages and it really pisses me off that he would try to make YOU feel bad about what HE did to you.

 

I'm really getting mad now so I have to stop writing...but PLEASE take some action. You do not need to make further posts on the Internet. Take some action out in the real world. Do it now!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!