yell02sonoma Posted October 12, 2003 Share Posted October 12, 2003 My girlfriend and I of 2 years split up a little over a month ago. During the time together we talked about the future and she said I was the one for her. I'm really in love with this girl and don't want to loose her. During the month apart we have went out and sometimes been affecinate torwards each other. She just started college and chose the college she is going to be close to me. She calls me every morning before she goes to class. When we talk she tells me she misses me, loves me, and wishes things were back the way they were before. The whole time we have been apart I haven't called her, it's been her always calling me. I have went to see her at college a couple of times and when I'm up there I try to be affecinate torwards her and she pulls away. But when she comes home and we're together she is affecinate torwards me. One night last week she calls me and says that she can't have a boyfriend off campus because she will cheat on me. She also says that there are going to be parties and things are going to happen. This weekend was her birthday and I was suppose to go over to her house on Sunday for dinner with her family. We talk on Saturday and she said she dosen't feel the same about me anymore and dosen't want me to come over on Sunday or see her family anymore. During the conversation we both cry and tell each other we'll be there for one another. I think she still loves me because she calls me all the time, the things we have done since we've been apart, and the way she acts. Here are my questions, Does her just starting college have anything to do with this? Should I just sit back and see if she calls or comes back? Do you think she wants to get back together? What should I do? I really want to spend the rest of my life with this girl and don't want to throw it all away. We have too much time and effort invested in it. I'm really confused, lost, and heartbroken. Any advice or replies would be greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Redheadchik Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 Hey,after reading your post, I really felt like I could relate to you, except that in my weird relationship with my ex he would be feeling the same way you do. The thing is, us girls are REALLY confusing, i know this. And we are sorry. I think you just seriously need to let her go and have her fun. Let her get it out of her system. You say you want to spend the rest of your life with her right? Well you will really know for sure if its meant to be, if after time apart, you still find your way back to eachother. I dont know about your ex but I feel like when I know things are getting serious and me and my ex were talking about marriage, it almost felt like we should have just gotten married right then and there. He has the mind set that we are going to be bf/gf for like 3 years more (we have been together 3 years) and then get engaged. That just made me have doubts. I wanted to know for sure that he was the one. I have nothing to compare him to, to really find out. I think you both just need to take a loooong break and cut off all communication. Let her have her fun. And if she comes back, you know she really loves you. It will be soooo hard at first, your going to wonder what shes doing on the weekends, is she out with another guy, does she miss you? It hurts like hell, been there, going through it right now. Wouldnt you rather have her do this now then say 5 years down the road you guys are married and she says she has doubts? I don't know, I hope this helps you out some. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yell02sonoma Posted October 13, 2003 Author Share Posted October 13, 2003 You know exactly how I'm feeling. I stumbled across this website by accident and read some of the posts and can relate to some of them and it's been helpfull. You say that I should cut off all communication. What if she call's and she's in need of something or just wants to talk cause she's had a bad day. Even though we're split up I still want to be there for her. I still love her and care about her. I don't know what to do because I've never felt like this before about someone. That's why I'm turning to this website for advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Nourhan Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 I am so relating to what you have written. Except that I must agree that there must be some sort of a break, long-term. You have been there for this girl, and investing of lot of your time and yourself to make her happy and all she seems to do is play around with you depending on her mood. She needs time to figure out things for herself and decide if she also wants to commit fully to a relationship with you. She shouldn't use you only when she is in trouble and needs to dump on you after having a bad day. In the meantime take time for you too to make sure that she is indeed the one for you. Enjoy your independance to fully evaluate what you need and want out of life. You seem like a caring guy and would also deserve someone who cares about you as much. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
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