What to do when somebody hurts you, then expects everything to be just fine & normal

[mean people suck!]

can some one please tell me what to do when some one has hurt you're feelings with words or accusations, then goes about his business as if nuttin had been said and then gets mad at you for still being mad at them, even when they are no longer mad at you, and they just expect for you to not be mad at them nor hurt because they are no longer mad at you, i hope that makes sense.

[quankanne]

ooh, people with short tempers ... and even shorter attention spans to what's going on around them! definitely not my favorite situation to be in.

 

how do you handle it? that's tricky, but I've found best that even if it takes you a while to work through those feelings of anger (or hurt for being yelled at), it's best to just let them pass. Then, when things are relatively calm, have a talk with that person. Let them know that it's hurtful when they snap at you like that, then expect you to recover immediately. And then let them know that you expect to be treated with a little more courtesy than as a whipping boy for someone with a short fuse.

 

If you are lucky, you'll only need to explain this once or twice, but in my personal experiences with my dad, who is notorious for blowing up, then acting oblivous to the bad feelings he's created around him, it's going to take a while for that person to comprehend how his/her behavior affects other people.

 

whatever you do, don't belittle or criticize that person, or they'll snap again. Just say very calmly, "I understand why you felt angry, but I didn't appreciate you taking it out on me when i wasn't responsible for what had happened, and I expect you to treat me differently next time this kind of thing comes up." it's almost like talking to a two-year-old who is pitching a fit, you know? Just remain calm and in control of yourself, because you're the adult here.

 

If talking it over isn't a good option, then write that person a note about his/her behavior and why you don't feel it's appropriate in your friendship.

 

good luck