Author xenonsrt10 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Share Posted April 3, 2009 This is a classic example of "cat and mouse" and she is eating it up. If you go for it now, you should be money. haha its really getting this ridiculous. its like she is getting testy with me and denying things. listen to the texts we sent: Her: 2 days left of the sticker. Hows the status going? Me: Haha I was just about to send you a message...ill respond in one second haha Me: No office tonight..tears. haha i got a facebook poke from you?? now im stabbing you back (sarcasm) Her: um..i didnt poke you?? Me:Uh it says you did on facebook...you know where liars go? haha Her: crap. i signed on fb today and didnt log off when i got off the computer..like i exited out, but didnt sign off...oh no! that means someone used it! ***i call bs because no one at her school knows me and her are friends except for one person and i hardly know then*** Me: Yeah right denial!! Its not easy to find poke and use it. And why me? I dont even go there to your school? Hahah your on the hot seat hahaha Me: You still there? Her: yes faggot. did i really poke you on facebook? Me: hey hey is everything ok on your end haha? and you did notice that there is a poke from me there haha and im not gay obviously... i poked a girl Me: and your a child. Her: I really didnt poke you on facebook which means someone else was on mine..this is not good. Me: we'll i didnt hack it and why do the poke me then? and hows that bumpers sticker coming along? Her: its fine...hah no one at school said anything. my aunt whined about how she noticed it Me: she can keep whining then ahha. i sent you a humorous yet sensical message on fb yesterday. read it!! and you get a poke from me anyways so savor it haha Her: i will not. i will delete your poke as quickly as possible Me:you dont realize just how freaked it get when i see your picture on the background of my desktop when i woke up. for real. ***last time i was with her she puts her picture on my laptop background*** Her: Most people respond a little more excitedly when they wake up to me...but oh well...cant win 'em all.... OK THATS IT. She was acting a bit unusual when texting with her and now i feel like she is either in serious denial or she is just having a bad night and someone happened to poke me on her facebook (which just seems off). What do you read this as? Link to post Share on other sites
Author xenonsrt10 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Share Posted April 3, 2009 This is a classic example of "cat and mouse" and she is eating it up. If you go for it now, you should be money. now she sends me a random text at like 7:40 telling me she hopes i have a great day and much love. hmm? the thing is this could very well be friendship, but obviously she had me on the mind when she woke up this morning. Link to post Share on other sites
Jack of Hearts Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 Yes, this is a game of cat and mouse. That's what flirting is. Remember, whatever impression you want to have, you have to allow her to already think that way. For example, instead of trying to find rational reasons as to why only she could've poked you, you could've said "No, I understand. It's okay, I'm flattered really." Show a little bit of arrogance and let her play back into it. Oh, I you're comment about her pitcure...you had the right idea (mentioning how it contributed to your morning), but stay away from any negativity (or anything that can be percieved as negative) about anything she can't control, like looks, etc. The word "freaked" might have come across wrong, but it's alright. You're doing alright, just remember to throw the ball back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xenonsrt10 Posted April 3, 2009 Author Share Posted April 3, 2009 Yes, this is a game of cat and mouse. That's what flirting is. Remember, whatever impression you want to have, you have to allow her to already think that way. For example, instead of trying to find rational reasons as to why only she could've poked you, you could've said "No, I understand. It's okay, I'm flattered really." Show a little bit of arrogance and let her play back into it. Oh, I you're comment about her pitcure...you had the right idea (mentioning how it contributed to your morning), but stay away from any negativity (or anything that can be percieved as negative) about anything she can't control, like looks, etc. The word "freaked" might have come across wrong, but it's alright. You're doing alright, just remember to throw the ball back. it all seems that way jack. im just at this crossroads. i like to as a friend alot and dont want to lose that but then again i seem to be falling for her as well. this morning she sends me a text about she wasnt able to get on facebook this morning but she hopes i have a great day and says much love dude. she seems to use dude and man alot for some reason (i think to cover it up) and we talk on txt throughout the today and stuff. its like she is fishing for something to say just to talk to me you know? its just hard admitting it to her because of the unknown and the fact that she had something going on with some older dude for a while and thats dead as far as i know, but from what im seeing is that she is really confused and conflicted about it and is trying to hold back from telling me...something. Link to post Share on other sites
Jack of Hearts Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 Alright, I think I may know what's going on inside your head. First, you're not entirely clear about what you want. If you want to be her friend, then continue what you're doing and be a great friend. Second, if you're falling for her for God's sake DO NOT TELL HER! Believe me, I've crashed and burned severely many times because I told her how I felt up front. If SHE brings it up fine, but DO NOT break out the poetics and spill your guts. That can be very off-putting, confusing, surprising and just an all-around no-no. Again, if she brings it up keep it simple and sincere (eventhough your heart may be about to burst), keep control over your emotions and just tell her that enjoy the time you spend together. Also, you have to ask yourself (if you want to be more than a friend) are you acting like a friend to her or are you acting like a potential boyfriend would? And don't be put off by her calling you 'Dude' or 'man', I've had several girls do the same thing, I mean really, what is she supposed to call you "candy pants"? And finally, just some pointers: Don't over analyze, you'll drive yourself insane (and who wants an insane love interest) Don't have any expectations. The second you do, you set yourself up for disappointment, which can lead to resentment which will also destroy any friendship you may have had. Don't be too predictable. This is boring and nobody likes anything boring. Be patient, but persistent. Don't be too serious, keep it light and fun. Don't chase. Don't make yourself too available. If you're easy, then you're not a challenge. Women appreciate a bit of a challenge, the same as men do. Also, just for some insight. Talk to a few attractive women, not about your situation, but talk to them about relationships in general. What they desire in a man, their idea of a good relationship, what turns them on/off, etc. Getting a women's perspective always helps and if you really get to understand them, you'll come to see that women aren't crazy, weird, illogical or hard to understand. In fact they're very simple to understand, you just have to change your perception a bit. Keep us updated on this... Link to post Share on other sites
Author xenonsrt10 Posted April 6, 2009 Author Share Posted April 6, 2009 Alright, I think I may know what's going on inside your head. First, you're not entirely clear about what you want. If you want to be her friend, then continue what you're doing and be a great friend. Second, if you're falling for her for God's sake DO NOT TELL HER! Believe me, I've crashed and burned severely many times because I told her how I felt up front. If SHE brings it up fine, but DO NOT break out the poetics and spill your guts. That can be very off-putting, confusing, surprising and just an all-around no-no. Again, if she brings it up keep it simple and sincere (eventhough your heart may be about to burst), keep control over your emotions and just tell her that enjoy the time you spend together. Also, you have to ask yourself (if you want to be more than a friend) are you acting like a friend to her or are you acting like a potential boyfriend would? And don't be put off by her calling you 'Dude' or 'man', I've had several girls do the same thing, I mean really, what is she supposed to call you "candy pants"? And finally, just some pointers: Don't over analyze, you'll drive yourself insane (and who wants an insane love interest) Don't have any expectations. The second you do, you set yourself up for disappointment, which can lead to resentment which will also destroy any friendship you may have had. Don't be too predictable. This is boring and nobody likes anything boring. Be patient, but persistent. Don't be too serious, keep it light and fun. Don't chase. Don't make yourself too available. If you're easy, then you're not a challenge. Women appreciate a bit of a challenge, the same as men do. Also, just for some insight. Talk to a few attractive women, not about your situation, but talk to them about relationships in general. What they desire in a man, their idea of a good relationship, what turns them on/off, etc. Getting a women's perspective always helps and if you really get to understand them, you'll come to see that women aren't crazy, weird, illogical or hard to understand. In fact they're very simple to understand, you just have to change your perception a bit. Keep us updated on this... i will. thanks for all your advice. i just want to be as careful as possible as i have fairly strong feelings for this girl. speaking about the facebook "poking" (sort of a flirty tool or just some playful jester)i was going on about earlier...i talked to a friend tonight about that a while it is small..it seems to be something in the right direction: -i get a poke from her -she lives in another state -i do not know her friends at her school (i know others) -she denies poking me -she claims someone got into her profile and she didnt log out and somehow they decide to poke me (could be the case..) -she is very defensive and when i joke about poking her she is "repulsed" and talking about getting rid of my poke. here is the question a friend pointed out and this alludes to something more: -even if she didnt poke me, she had to me on my profile page, looking at it, or talking to people about me around her to actually get someone to poke me. why would anyone poke me? they dont know me, or have heard of me unless from her and it seems like something smells.... just something me and a friend caught that might show us something (?) Link to post Share on other sites
Author xenonsrt10 Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 bump. just keeping this thread alive. Link to post Share on other sites
Jack of Hearts Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 Dude, like I was saying before. Don't over analyze everything, just go with the flow. I saw that you re-posted your story on another thread talking about telling her how you feel and I swear to God DO NOT TELL HER! There are two situations where "coming out with your feelings" will be beneficial to you. 1.) You guys have been dating for a while and she brings it up. and 2). She notices a change in your interactions and she brings it up. Notice the common denominator? WHEN SHE BRINGS IT UP. I can't tell you how many times I've spilled my guts to a girl and it's turned out bad for me and all of the great relationships I've had the discussions of "feelings" came way later, after intimacy and all of that. The only other time bringing up your feelings to her would be appropriate is if you fully understand that she doesn't see you in that way and you're prepared for rejection, but to save yourself from the stress of it all you tell her to get it off your chest. But, if you want something more you have to take your time. Remember what Elvis said "Only Fools Rush In" (or was it the wise men?) I dunno, but you know what I mean. In the meantime, keep up with the innuendo and flirting through whatever electronic means you use and I would read up on flirting through text/email and such. Going from a friend to more is very very very complicated, but it can be done. Usually it's the guy wanting to be more and in order for him to do so he has to present himself in that light because the decision is ultimately hers. Just take your time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xenonsrt10 Posted April 8, 2009 Author Share Posted April 8, 2009 Dude, like I was saying before. Don't over analyze everything, just go with the flow. I saw that you re-posted your story on another thread talking about telling her how you feel and I swear to God DO NOT TELL HER! There are two situations where "coming out with your feelings" will be beneficial to you. 1.) You guys have been dating for a while and she brings it up. and 2). She notices a change in your interactions and she brings it up. Notice the common denominator? WHEN SHE BRINGS IT UP. I can't tell you how many times I've spilled my guts to a girl and it's turned out bad for me and all of the great relationships I've had the discussions of "feelings" came way later, after intimacy and all of that. The only other time bringing up your feelings to her would be appropriate is if you fully understand that she doesn't see you in that way and you're prepared for rejection, but to save yourself from the stress of it all you tell her to get it off your chest. But, if you want something more you have to take your time. Remember what Elvis said "Only Fools Rush In" (or was it the wise men?) I dunno, but you know what I mean. In the meantime, keep up with the innuendo and flirting through whatever electronic means you use and I would read up on flirting through text/email and such. Going from a friend to more is very very very complicated, but it can be done. Usually it's the guy wanting to be more and in order for him to do so he has to present himself in that light because the decision is ultimately hers. Just take your time. thats the key. i just have to control my urge to tell her or let it spill out. i think im gonna try to act a bit more "boyfriend-y" around her and see if she can get the hints from that. i havent tried contacting her in 3 days so i can figure this out. ill keep you posted. but, i still wonder, do you actually think that she likes me or is it one of those things where it all points to it but it is just friendship? thanks. the signs seem to ME that she is conflicted but thats just me. Link to post Share on other sites
Jack of Hearts Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 but, i still wonder, do you actually think that she likes me or is it one of those things where it all points to it but it is just friendship? thanks. the signs seem to ME that she is conflicted but thats just me. She doesn't dislike you, which is a lot more than some guys, so you already have an advantage. Let me ask you this, do you ever mention going out with any other girls? If so, what was her reaction? Link to post Share on other sites
Author xenonsrt10 Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 She doesn't dislike you, which is a lot more than some guys, so you already have an advantage. Let me ask you this, do you ever mention going out with any other girls? If so, what was her reaction? well let me give you some more details about our relationship. i met her on AIM from a good friend of mine. my friend and her both liked each other for a good while and in the meantime she introduced me to her best friend whom we clicked off well and ended up in a relationship from june 2008-october 2008. i still talked to this girl (not the girl i liked) everyday all the time and we are connected to a few people at my college i go to (she is 4 years younger than me). my friend and herself split (from the AIM relationship) since he lives in england. i continued to talk to her although she knew i was in a relationship with her friend. when that ended, i stayed friends with both and got to meet her face to face in november where my friend (who was there and visiting) went and somehow wanted to "cockblock" me and make me look like an idiot in front of her. up until now, we still talk alot and i saw her two weeks ago and here we are where i start this post. she mentioned something like (since she hooked me up with her friend) hooking me up again with like her sister (she might have been joking) but she mentions hooking me up from time to time but i dont really respond but making a funny face since she hooked me up with her friend which worked for a while..then didnt work. haha maybe this sheds more light on everything. but this girl texted me 30 plus times a day last summer and we became amazingly close very soon after we became friends. its just a weird situation. and to give you an age insight....she is 18 im 22...maybe that helps. and she comments on my height alot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xenonsrt10 Posted April 11, 2009 Author Share Posted April 11, 2009 She doesn't dislike you, which is a lot more than some guys, so you already have an advantage. Let me ask you this, do you ever mention going out with any other girls? If so, what was her reaction? oh and something else jack. my friends were pointing out yesterday how she still knows i am a bit touchy about the girl i was with a few months ago and the same girl who is one of her best friends. they mentioned that if she still thinks i cannot get over her friends that she might see herself as second fiddle to this other girl and that i need to completely let her go as she knows i still save chats and phone texts from this girl. does that help clarify things? Link to post Share on other sites
Author xenonsrt10 Posted April 13, 2009 Author Share Posted April 13, 2009 latest update jack. she now would love for me to go to her prom. this could be good.... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts