Why do women get mad when men speak honestly

[serial muse]

It is not my intention to make women mad but I do not bite my tongue. I admit that my threads have a men vs women element but I just don't see how you can talk about modern day relationships without it being men vs women. We have vastly different experiences in the dating world and men and women barely like each other anymore these days. If there were no sexual attraction we would probably be segregated by now. The genders are already divided and I just take my side instead of waving the white flag like most men do.

 

Again, this is just plain untrue, Woggle. Please do not speak for everyone. I happily have lots of men and women friends who like each other fine and - gasp - even enjoy talking to each other. There's not a lot of drama or backbiting. People are just people and they live their lives. Life is not really men vs. women, thank God, and people are not being constantly forced to "take sides" in the real world. Only on these boards, and that's only because a few bitter people constantly try to impose their angry framework and worldview on others.

 

What's going on in your head may not, in fact, be what's going on in the world around you, you know. Sometimes it's just in your head.

[clv0116]

In my world, clv, understanding trends is not just about memorizing two points on a graph and then ignoring what goes on between them. It's called the wonderful world of science.

 

No kidding, but your best fit line is NOT going to show anything close to the 1 year per decade number you're promoting without some pretty creative data discarding.

[Sam Spade]

"What else does the box say Steve?"

"It says you need to hit the treadmill honey."

 

I doubt Cheerios will be buying that ad soon.

 

 

Actually, this is one of the most man-hating commercials ever. I understand it is all marketing and blah, but I would lie if I say that it did not fill me with hatred the second I saw it. Makes you think how come research showed this type of scenario will work best with the women it was targeted at:mad:?

[alphamale]

Actually, this is one of the most man-hating commercials ever. I understand it is all marketing and blah, but I would lie if I say that it did not fill me with hatred the second I saw it. Makes you think how come research showed this type of scenario will work best with the women it was targeted at:mad:?

they should redo it where the husband goes on a verbal rampage telling his wife how much weight she has gained since they got married and how it disgusts him to even touch her naked body. then he should mention some new young slender blonde secretary at work who is 15 years younger

[clv0116]

Actually, this is one of the most man-hating commercials ever.

 

Yes, well I don't buy Cheerios any more, so who says marketing doesn't work.

[serial muse]

No kidding, but your best fit line is NOT going to show anything close to the 1 year per decade number you're promoting without some pretty creative data discarding.

 

Ah. So, you didn't actually read my post. I believe I discussed that in detail, but I can see now that I was wasting my time. I should have known. Sometimes, it's just not worth the effort.

[Cherished]

The men I work with are all very respectful and appreciate women, and vice versa. There is no man vs. women mentality at all (or should I say 'retardality.'

Perhaps it is because we are teachers and actually like people?

Must be.

[Citizen Erased]

Speak for yourself. I love my fiancé and also like, respect and trust him. I only date men I like.

 

I would not cook for you.

 

:lmao:

[Cherry Blossom 35]

These age threads remind me of the playground in elementary school.

 

Male=Good

 

Female=Bad

 

or vice versa.

 

Well all of you guys have cooties anyway.

[mental_traveller]

My gf really likes when I talk honestly. Same with the one before that, and the one before that. Even when I said "your ass looks big in that" (I like big asses).

 

In my experience, women get mad when you talk *dis*honestly.

 

Maybe you are just talking to the wrong women?

[popey]

Some PEOPLE get angry when they hear honesty. I personally have had this experience with both sexes, but more with men. I've also experienced both sexes being great communicators involving give and take of honesty, even the uncomfortable sort. Male friends who have counseled me in realtionship issues have advised, "i know its not fair, but know that we men do not respond well to hearing that we are not the all perfect specimens of masculinity."

 

Comment not meant to speak well nor ill of all in either gender. Just sharing my experience.

[Woggle]

Of course most people are civil on the surface but the bitterness between the sexes right now is so thick you can cut it with a knife. We have to work together so we adapt but look at how hard a time men and women are having living together today. The comments you hear online are how people feel in the real world but the anonymity of the internet allows people to express these views they are afraid to express in person.

[Athena]

Why do women get mad when men speak honestly?

 

S-I-G-H --- this is easy to answer: It's because men are always wrong, don't you know? So the women get mad when they hear the wrong answers!, or dumb words

[Chrome Barracuda]

S-I-G-H --- this is easy to answer: It's because men are always wrong, don't you know? So the women get mad when they hear the wrong answers!, or dumb words

 

 

Yeah men are always wrong!

 

*chuckles!

 

...Sure we are.

[Taramere]

Of course most people are civil on the surface but the bitterness between the sexes right now is so thick you can cut it with a knife. We have to work together so we adapt but look at how hard a time men and women are having living together today. The comments you hear online are how people feel in the real world but the anonymity of the internet allows people to express these views they are afraid to express in person.

 

It's possible to be express your opinions honestly and come into some conflict with other people in real life, without losing your civility or your sense of proportion. Anyone who hasn't learned to do that would surely be better served using a board like this as a practising ground, rather than as a forum where they play out some fantasy persona that they can't live up to in real life.

 

If you're one thing here and another thing entirely in the outside world, then that indicates lack of personal integrity. Which really reduces the credibility of any opinions you might wish to present about how the real world works and how people of both genders can conduct themselves responsibly, fairly and effectively within it.

 

That said - I don't think you're particularly offensive on this board. I think you just complain a lot, and don't seem motivated to ever move on from that stagnant and negative outlook.

[The Collector]

Like most everyone else here, I grew up in a feminist/post-feminist society. I grew up listening to how men caused this problem, and men are to blame for that. Was some of it true, did some of it sink in, did much of it cause men to change their behaviour and thinking? Yes. Did those female voices take care to stress 'not all men are like this of course?' Not so much.

 

Did Martin Luther King say 'Sure, there are plenty of nice white folks too'? Not to my knowledge.

 

Do I think Woggle is correct to say there is a gender war going on at the moment? Well I don't think it's all in his head. In fact I think it's just starting in some ways, or at least entering a new phase. Sad, but there you go. We can call it a Positive Gender Role Re-evaluation Discussion if it sounds better.

 

And do I think there are some flaws in (many) modern women, and double-standards and unfairness in modern relationships, and that need addressing. Yes. And is this board the ideal place to discuss them? No. Wait, I mean yes.

 

Us men have had decades of being told where we're going wrong, why we suck, and how we should be doing things more to your satisfaction. You ladies can dish it out but you can't take it. Rock on Woggle.

[alphamale]

The men I work with are all very respectful and appreciate women, and vice versa. There is no man vs. women mentality at all (or should I say 'retardality.'

Perhaps it is because we are teachers and actually like people?

Must be.

teaching is a female dominated profession so of course all the men have to be PC

[Jersey Shortie]

And do I think there are some flaws in (many) modern women, and double-standards and unfairness in modern relationships, and that need addressing. Yes. And is this board the ideal place to discuss them? No. Wait, I mean yes.

 

You can start with your own flawed thinking Collector. And I don't say that to be rude but you make a point. You make the point to say there are many modern day flawed women and relationship double standards. As I am sure there are. But women aren't alone on the planet and didn't create all the evils in the world. There are many flawed modern day men with their own sense of entitlement and relationship double standards. Why don't we be fair and acknowledge and address both no? If you want women to change, you have to be willing to change as well. That goes for all men, not just you. I don't really find men are willing to change. You guys want to be the leaders but you don't want to lead.

 

To the general topic of conversation, when someone is being honest with you, they shouldn't do it in a way that is demeaning to you. Honesty is one thing, I don't think women have issues with honesty. I think it's the approach that people take on that can be hurtful. You aren't doing your partner or yourself any favors by saying "yeah your a fat cow". You are demeaning the person you should be protecting the most. Again, this isn't a matter of women of not liking honesty. It's a matter of how the honesty is sometimes approach. Especially on this board, it's often meant to come as a slight or negative degrading of the gender.

[grogster]

Why do women get mad when men speak honestly?

 

Most female Shackers don't. Honesty has never been the issue. Rather, it's the overbroad stigmatic generalizations about all women that piss people off --of both genders. Any Thread that begins "All women are..." I stop reading for content but continue reading for fireworks.

 

Most bright Shacker women, in contrast, focus on particular men in legitimate, concrete advice contexts. They don't paint with as broad a brush as the guys who post to provoke. As a result, there's usually more nuance, subtlety and refinement in the posts of intelligent female Shackers than their angry laddy boy counterparts. These women will indict particular men, not the entire male gender. While the angry laddy boys will label all women based on the sins of a few.

 

Class based bashing --whether based on race, color, releigion, gender, nationality--says more about the basher's insecurities and obsessions than it does the class under attack.

[donnamaybe]

And here it is, in case you missed it - in the last 50 or so years - perhaps one could say, during the latest evolution in gender roles in the U.S. of A. - the average age of marriage has risen pretty rapidly. Yes, rapidly. In fact, I went back to get more recent numbers, and found that the average age of marriage has increased by about 6 years, since the 2007 numbers are 28 (men) and 26 (women).

 

OOOO!!!! CLV IS WAAAAYYYYY PAST HIS PRIME! Better forget about marriage, clv. Your best days are over!!!

[donnamaybe]

Why do women get mad when men speak honestly?

 

Most female Shackers don't. Honesty has never been the issue. Rather, it's the overbroad stigmatic generalizations about all women that piss people off --of both genders. Any Thread that begins "All women are..." I stop reading for content but continue reading for fireworks.

 

Most bright Shacker women, in contrast, focus on particular men in legitimate, concrete advice contexts. They don't paint with as broad a brush as the guys who post to provoke. As a result, there's usually more nuance, subtlety and refinement in the posts of intelligent female Shackers than their angry laddy boy counterparts. These women will indict particular men, not the entire male gender. While the angry laddy boys will label all women based on the sins of a few.

 

Class based bashing --whether based on race, color, releigion, gender, nationality--says more about the basher's insecurities and obsessions than it does the class under attack.

 

Grogster, as usual you are a bright, shining beacon of hope for broad minded thinkers of BOTH genders.

 

Thanks!!

[39388]

OOOO!!!! CLV IS WAAAAYYYYY PAST HIS PRIME! Better forget about marriage, clv. Your best days are over!!!

Oh oh, does that mean we are all past our prime???

[OpenBook]

Class based bashing --whether based on race, color, releigion, gender, nationality--says more about the basher's insecurities and obsessions than it does the class under attack.

 

Amen grogs. With every word they are undermining their own position. And why do they try so hard to convince everyone of the same argument, over and over? What's the point? (I am referring to those who take the position that a female's value is directly proportional to the age of her eggs... and that foreign women are more highly valued because they are more submissive to men.)

 

These constant and tiresome tirades are usually accompanied by a declaration that IRL they themselves are having no problems attracting females. Does anyone REALLY believe that?? A man who has no problems getting laid doesn't spend an inordinate amount of time spewing his misogyny to a bunch of anonymous online strangers. He is ACTUALLY OUT GETTING LAID.

[serial muse]

Like most everyone else here, I grew up in a feminist/post-feminist society. I grew up listening to how men caused this problem, and men are to blame for that. Was some of it true, did some of it sink in, did much of it cause men to change their behaviour and thinking? Yes. Did those female voices take care to stress 'not all men are like this of course?' Not so much.

 

Did Martin Luther King say 'Sure, there are plenty of nice white folks too'? Not to my knowledge.

 

Do I think Woggle is correct to say there is a gender war going on at the moment? Well I don't think it's all in his head. In fact I think it's just starting in some ways, or at least entering a new phase. Sad, but there you go. We can call it a Positive Gender Role Re-evaluation Discussion if it sounds better.

 

And do I think there are some flaws in (many) modern women, and double-standards and unfairness in modern relationships, and that need addressing. Yes. And is this board the ideal place to discuss them? No. Wait, I mean yes.

 

Us men have had decades of being told where we're going wrong, why we suck, and how we should be doing things more to your satisfaction. You ladies can dish it out but you can't take it. Rock on Woggle.

 

Yeah, yeah, I get that there are men who feel that they're getting shat on out there. And then they come here and turn it around on others. Mmmkay.

 

Call it Positive Gender Role Re-evaluation, if it makes you feel better. But all it really is is turning around and saying nasty crap to people who didn't actually do anything to you. If you think that's evening the score, then whatevs.

[grogster]

Amen grogs. With every word they are undermining their own position. And why do they try so hard to convince everyone of the same argument, over and over? What's the point? (I am referring to those who take the position that a female's value is directly proportional to the age of her eggs... and that foreign women are more highly valued because they are more submissive to men.)

 

These constant and tiresome tirades are usually accompanied by a declaration that IRL they themselves are having no problems attracting females. Does anyone REALLY believe that?? A man who has no problems getting laid doesn't spend an inordinate amount of time spewing his misogyny to a bunch of anonymous online strangers. He is ACTUALLY OUT GETTING LAID.

 

I've always suspected that sexual insecurity drives the gender bashing. The angry laddy boy resentment of strong, intelligent women is most likely insecurity driven. But we're in the realm of speculation. Yet, one wonders...