I don't know what the hell to think about her anymore

[cunfusedguy]

I met this amazing girl a couple of years ago when one of my buddies started dating her older sister. My buddy and his gf are both a year and a half older than me. The girl that I'm having problems with is a year younger than me. Anyways, the four of us all became really good friends and would do stuff together all the time. After a few months I started to develope feelings for this girl. I began to pursue her and it went alright for a while. After a while she began to withdraw from my attempts and things got kind of akward. After everything smoothed out we became pretty good friends and I found out some of the reasons she didn't want to date me. For the last year and a half it stayed like that, we were friends. So then a few months ago I asked her if she wanted to go out and do something, being sure to mention that some of our other friends would be coming with. She said she didn't think they could go but says that we should go out and do something together anyways. So here I am thinkin what the hell, but ok, sounds good to me. So we ended up watching a movie at her house alone and had a pretty good time, sat and talked for a while, it was fun. I asked her out on a date and she said yes. We went out the next weekend and had a blast. Then all of the sudden she backs off and I get the cold shoulder again. So here I am and I don't even know what to think. I backed off again and things went back to the "just friends thing" again. After a while I did some stupid stuff and $h*t hit the fan between us. She sent me an email and basically apologized to me for everything, when 95% of it was my fault. I felt like a dick for it, apologized to her and we got everything straightened out. Friends again, oh boy. So over the last month I pretty much cut it off, I couldn't take playing the stupid games anymore. It tore at me and seeing her only made it worse. Well some stuff happened between my buddy and her sister so I asked her about it. We talked for a bit then at the end of the conversation she tells me that she's scared to get into a relationship because she doesn't want to get hurt. I've done everything I know to try to show her that I think she's the most beautiful girl I know and that I wouldn't do anything to hurt her over the last two years. So then the next day one of my buddies asks her if she wants to go out with us goofing around that weekend. She asks me out of nowhere if I'm going to go. I said ya and sure enough she shows up the next night. Ever since then she's been coming up to me to talk, which she had pretty much never done, and I've caught her looking at me time after time since then. Several of my friends think she's just missing all the attention that she has got for the last two years and quite frankly that sounds like a good explanation to me. She's a gorgeous christian girl, who has never been in a serious relationship before. But some tiny part of me wants to think that maybe it will be different this time. Maybe she has been scared the whole time. Maybe she's ready to take a chance. I don't know what to think anymore. What do you guys have to say about it?

[Jack of Hearts]

What I would do in your situation is show her that she can trust you with her feelings. If her only apprehension to getting involved is because she doesn't want to get hurt, then it should tell you that her level of trust for you needs to be higher than it is now.

 

About her missing the attention, that may be the case, but she's looking for your attention, right? Hell, give it to her. Would you rather her attention be on someone else? I don't think so.

 

But you have to show her that your trustworthy. You do this by being honest and avoiding the immature head games. Don't be pushy or needy, though. Let her open up to you and show her that you're worthy of her time. Keep in mind I said SHOW her that you're worthy, don't TELL her. Actions speak louder than words and she will be able to figure it out on her own.

 

I hope this helps.