Why do many men kid themselves with the whole younger woman thing?

March 30, 2009

I am starting to wonder wtf is going on

I am in my early 30's, good looking, in shape, relatively wealthy, bags of relationship experience, and yet recognise that I'm starting to move a little past my prime. Why is it then that guys a decade older than me are becoming so delusional that they are thinking they some kind of catch for young attractive women?

Young attractive women don't generally hang out on dating sites, they're out doing social things, they're not, and have never been interested in 40 something guys that approach them with the one dimensional offer of money. It doesn't matter how fast the car is, how big the house is, how fat the salary is, you ain't getting past hello.

I know guys in their 40's that are on the rich list, do women go waga waga doe eyed for them? No they don't? Why? Because they were banging the broke musician last night. You don't get brownie points for being an exec amongst young women, you get the same sort of respect that their father would. A great guy, maybe? but shaggable? I think not.

Now how do I know this? Because I was that guy in my 20's that banged the women, and believe me, it didn't matter if I was strung out half the time and begging for a fiver for my breakfast, because it was fun to them. All I had to do was sing a song in front of a few people, go on and on about my music, and I was shaggable, period. Try doing that in your 40's, and you'll just come across as sad.

If you are in your 40's and are positioning yourself to do what you didn't do in your 20's forget it. The money you accumilated isn't unusual, you are not Clooney, you are not a babe magnet, the most you get is chewed up and spat out by a golddigger, because women in their 20's will run you ragged.

March 30, 2009

Because some men simply never mature. Also it is usually extremely shy and nerdy men or loud douchebag type guys who are old and demand women half their age, for one simple reason: they never got any chicks when they were in their 20's and 30's and now that they have a little financial stability and it's their last hope at getting what they have always missed out on, via flashing a few dollar bills around.

That's the only reason. While all of us were out there hooking up and doing what typical 20 yr olds do, these types of guys were at home making love to their hands and squeezing zits infront of a mirror.

Look everyone knows youth is attractive, there is no denying it, young looking women and men look GREAT. They look better than most older people, but every age has its charm. A person that hasn't grown up enough to recognize that is seriously grasping on to a past that was unfulfilling to them, they did not have the same opportunities others had and they feel they need to hang on with dear life to a youth they will never have again. They have issues.

It's sad, but it's got to be seen for what it is. I thought it was gross when I was 22 and I used to get hit on by a pathetic older dudes and it was simply gross. I used to tell them find a woman your age, and stop trying to be younger than you are. Some would get pissed off others would get a reality check. The idea of sleeping with a man 20 yrs older than me was nauseating. It still is. It really is sick if you think about it.

Women want the broke bad boy any day, some of these older dudes with money think they are "bad boys" and they are not they are still nerd or loud mouthed douche bags with money. It's never sexy, it's pathetic.

March 30, 2009

Don't let it get to you because a handful of guys on here try to tell you your age indicates something negative about your worth.

My partner is 6 and a half years younger than I am and I have a child that is not biologically his.

I know many many people who are clear indications that no everyone thinks the way the handful of guys on here do. I've seen larger age differences than the one in my relationship to women even less wealthy than myself who have more children than I do.

Think about it like this:

Would you want one of these guys to make a grand exception for you? Would you even want to date them if they did? I know I wouldn't so.......no big loss for any woman no matter what her age if some jerk doesn't want to date her for whatever reason they choose to look down on her. Who wants to be with a bigot?

March 30, 2009

A 22-26 year old girl wants someone her age to date. To majority of them, any guy past 30 is a dinosaur and will only garner a "eew, pervert" comment from them. Because these girls are young enough to still be living off their parents, so your money doesn't impress them and they are certainly not impressed with the receeding hairline or potbelly you are starting to spot.

26+ girls will give guys in their 40s a chance ONLY if he's loaded and showers her with material things. Unless you are George Clooney/Brad Pitt, of which there are only 5 or so in the world, she doesn't find you physically attractive in any way. She finds your wallet attractive and that usually lets her tolerate you a bit more.

The only 40 year old guys who are able to score women nearly half their age are rich guys who are not stingy. Your average joe has no chance in hell.

March 30, 2009

This whole debate always gets blown out of proportion. I'm 'only' 32, and although theoretically I maybe could, I wouldn't even think about getting close to a woman under 25 . But, precisely because I recognise that I don't have that many years of a good run left, I'm looking for a woman up to my own age at the most - because by what reasoning exactly could she have more "good years" () left than I do, hmm? As far as looks and physical shape are concerned, I've peaked right now, but I know that it won't last forever. It takes me longer to lose a couple of pounds, to recover from a workout, etc. So, it's an uphill battle from now on, and I'm not even going to give birth .)

My current, (and hopefully future and last ), girlfriend is 29, and I think that this is the perfect age discrepancy at this point. If i was to find myself 40 and single, I'm pretty sure I'll still be able to attract plenty of 30+ year olds, and would not go under 30 at that point, but it would still matter...). After 40, well at that point I'll take anything , ( though i bet I'll stil lbe ahead of the other 40 year old competition .)

So, the 40+ year old lusting after a 20 year old scenario is convenient to bash (why not, it's pretty wrong on many levels), but in reality this very rarely happens (although I'm seeing it right now with a 25 year old female friend dating a 40 year old. And yes, she has a profession and her own house ).

March 30, 2009

A 22-26 year old girl wants someone her age to date. To majority of them, any guy past 30 is a dinosaur and will only garner a "eew, pervert" comment from them. Because these girls are young enough to still be living off their parents, so your money doesn't impress them and they are certainly not impressed with the receeding hairline or potbelly you are starting to spot.

Quite right! Many times older guys hit on me when I was in my twenties. I remember one in particular who was probably younger than I perceived him to be leering too closely for my comfort. He said "Mmmmm you smell goooooood!"

To which I said "*sniff* You smell old enough to be my dad."

March 30, 2009

You ask "Why do men kid themselves with the whole younger women thing?"

Maybe because they GET the younger women(if that's what they want) and they are not kidding themselves.

I had an encounter with a 20 something(actually just 20) last Friday.

I actually saw her later that night(around 1) at a bar that I frequent and where she was a waitress(just filling in for her friend for that night).

We are "friends" but she always had an inviting eye every time we spoke.

So, I was there with a few friends , having a good time.

At around 1:30, a 20 something, broke musician enters and makes a beeline for her. He danced a bit with her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and it was clear to see that something had happened or was about to happen between them.

Or so I thought...

We invite them to our table but her eyes were on me. In fact, I was the one who got the compliments from her.

At around 5, I was getting ready to leave and she asked me if I wanted to sleep over at her place as she thought I was dizzy... I joked that I can't sleep alone in a strange house and she answered that could be arranged...

By the way, the broke musician was a few feet away....

We left together at 6 and had a great evening...

This girl knows I am 38, and I don't think she would have a LTR with me, but who wants a LTR with a 20 year old anyway?

My point is older guys can date and have younger women if they have their act together and are in good shape.

They have a lot to offer in terms of worldliness and experience that young women are attracted to.

SO, if you think you can't get a younger woman OP, you are greatly mistaken.... just try it sometime

Cheers,

March 30, 2009

You ask "Why do men kid themselves with the whole younger women thing?"

Maybe because they GET the younger women(if that's what they want) and they are not kidding themselves.

I had an encounter with a 20 something(actually just 20) last Friday.
I actually saw her later that night(around 1) at a bar that I frequent and where she was a waitress(just filling in for her friend for that night).

We are "friends" but she always had an inviting eye every time we spoke.

So, I was there with a few friends , having a good time.
At around 1:30, a 20 something, broke musician enters and makes a beeline for her. He danced a bit with her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and it was clear to see that something had happened or was about to happen between them.
Or so I thought...

We invite them to our table but her eyes were on me. In fact, I was the one who got the compliments from her.

At around 5, I was getting ready to leave and she asked me if I wanted to sleep over at her place as she thought I was dizzy... I joked that I can't sleep alone in a strange house and she answered that could be arranged...

By the way, the broke musician was a few feet away....

We left together at 6 and had a great evening...

This girl knows I am 38, and I don't think she would have a LTR with me, but who wants a LTR with a 20 year old anyway?

My point is older guys can date and have younger women if they have their act together and are in good shape.

They have a lot to offer in terms of worldliness and experience that young women are attracted to.

SO, if you think you can't get a younger woman OP, you are greatly mistaken.... just try it sometime

Cheers,

Reference to broke comes up twice. I think you just bolstered someone else's opinion of the old guys needing money to get the young chicks.

March 30, 2009

Age denial is a pathetic thing indeed CP!

March 30, 2009

My point is older guys can date and have younger women if they have their act together and are in good shape.

They have a lot to offer in terms of worldliness and experience that young women are attracted to.

SO, if you think you can't get a younger woman OP, you are greatly mistaken.... just try it sometime

Cheers,

Balthazar, I have read a lot of your posts and if there is one thing that I know for sure about you is that you have had a LOT of relationship drama. You often posted about not being able to read women and more than once have been played by women your own age. Where you should be an example to other men at 38 years of age, you actually are often seeking advice on how to understand women at your age. You would fall under the epitome of the kind of man that seeks out really young women to overcompensate for the issues you have with women and dating.

Every single example of males that fall into the catergory that CP described in the OP is exactly what I am talking about in terms of the prototype of man that does this.

And by the way I believe CP can get really young women, that's not issue the here I believe he chooses to date women around his own age not because he can't get younger women, simply because he feels more on the level with women closer to his age. But I won't speak for him, he can tell you himself...

March 30, 2009

After 40, well at that point I'll take anything , ( though i bet I'll stil lbe ahead of the other 40 year old competition .)

So, the 40+ year old lusting after a 20 year old scenario is convenient to bash (why not, it's pretty wrong on many levels), but in reality this very rarely happens (although I'm seeing it right now with a 25 year old female friend dating a 40 year old. And yes, she has a profession and her own house ).

I will be 40 in two years Sam.

I hope that by that time I will be in a LTR with serious potential with a woman who may be anywhere from 25 to 35 or older.

But in the meanwhile, I will date as many of the 20-25 years olds as I am able to.

I turned down a separated 26 year old about two weeks ago(I know her husband a bit).

I told her I'm 38 and she didn't even bat an eye.

Her reply: Age is just a number my love! You are as old as you look ,feel and act!

It is much the same as older women who date younger men.

Who is to tell them that it is wrong or that they shouldn't?

If they can get the young dudes, more power to them...

Cheers,

March 30, 2009

When I was 21/22 I started dating a guy who was 38, but I outgrew him after about 6 months. In hindsight, it was only a matter of time considering a 38yr man who dates a 21yr old girl is pretty immature in the first place.

March 30, 2009

What's with all the cliches here lately? Nice way to generalize!

Guess what? There ARE men in their 40's who aren't rich and don't look like a movie star, but ARE dating women half their age. Wow, maybe they even LOVE each other too. How about that for a concept?

March 30, 2009

What's with all the cliches here lately? Nice way to generalize!
Guess what? There ARE men in their 40's who aren't rich and don't look like a movie star, but ARE dating women half their age. Wow, maybe they even LOVE each other too. How about that for a concept?

The world needs more women like you prettybaby. Thank god you hang out here. I was beginning to think there were no normal women posting here.

You sound confident and self-assured and that is attractive in a woman, regardless of age.

March 30, 2009

And by the way I believe CP can get really young women, that's not issue the here I believe he chooses to date women around his own age not because he can't get younger women, simply because he feels more on the level with women closer to his age. But I won't speak for him, he can tell you himself...

Indeed, that's usually the way it works! The different stages of life are just incompatible for me.

What's with all the cliches here lately? Nice way to generalize!
Guess what? There ARE men in their 40's who aren't rich and don't look like a movie star, but ARE dating women half their age. Wow, maybe they even LOVE each other too. How about that for a concept?

Yes it is a generalization!

You are correct there are men in their 40's that are dating women in their 20's, I don't deny or have an issue with that

I don't have an issue with a man in his 40s hitting it off with a 20 year old, these are the way things sometimes go

I have an issue with 40 year old men wanting to exclusively or more to the point thinking that they can exclusively date women in their 20's. I think it's pathetic that they believe that they can do it or have a right to it! It's total denial! This is nothing to do with love whatsoever, it's to do with male ego.

March 30, 2009

SO, if you think you can't get a younger woman OP, you are greatly mistaken.... just try it sometime
,

Try it sometime?

I'm bored of it! It's like listening to the same record over and over.

March 30, 2009

And if they can't get the young cute ones, they start threads crying about the guys that can.

March 30, 2009

And if they can't get the young cute ones, they start threads crying about the guys that can.

I'm just stating facts clv

Men in their 40's just aren't as virile or attractive.

March 30, 2009

I'm just stating facts clv

Men in their 40's just aren't as virile or attractive.

Of course not, I was sometimes compared to a mythical god in my youth. All I think about is whether I'm virile and attractive enough, and I am. Who cares past that?

March 30, 2009

Balthazar, I have read a lot of your posts and if there is one thing that I know for sure about you is that you have had a LOT of relationship drama. You often posted about not being able to read women and more than once have been played by women your own age. Where you should be an example to other men at 38 years of age, you actually are often seeking advice on how to understand women at your age. You would fall under the epitome of the kind of man that seeks out really young women to overcompensate for the issues you have with women and dating.

Every single example of males that fall into the catergory that CP described in the OP is exactly what I am talking about in terms of the prototype of man that does this.

And by the way I believe CP can get really young women, that's not issue the here I believe he chooses to date women around his own age not because he can't get younger women, simply because he feels more on the level with women closer to his age. But I won't speak for him, he can tell you himself...

Pollywag, I have read far fewer of your posts, but thanks for checking up on mine!

You say that at 38, I should be an example?

In what way?

I mean, do 38 year old men not make mistakes?

Do they have all the answers?

Are they omniscient or omnipotent?

I think you want me to be an 38 year old example of what you want to preach, but I can't do that because I feel we don't see eye to eye on these issues.

Yes, there had been relationship drama in my life, and this is because I have found older women to be much more difficult to relate to.

Nevertheless, I have grown to a point where I have had relationship with older women in the last year.

At the same time, I find that I can still attract younger females that usually come with lesser emotional baggage.

You also mention I seek advice on reading older women.

Yes, I do. Is that wrong? Isn't it what LS is about?

Why be here if I had all the answers?

I mean, do you have them?

You see, I try to give advice yet also take it.

I read the OP and what immediately sprung to mind is that the statement does not apply to most(if not all) men.

What exactly do my experiences with older women have to do with that?

So, what I see Pollywag is basically an effort on your part to make this personal for my expressing an opinion you don't like.

Probably, you are implying that I shouldn't give advice on younger women since I have difficulties with older ones, yes?

Yet, if my opinion mirrored yours, would you refer to my past posts?

I think not. So I think it is best to keep it impersonal.

As for seeking out younger women to overcompensate, you are dead wrong.

I seek out women of all ages, although I may be slightly partial to the younger.

That again, is a personal preference, and cannot be judged by you as being right or wrong.

It just is.

Cheers,

March 30, 2009

You sound confident and self-assured and that is attractive in a woman, regardless of age.

There is some correlation between increase in age and increase in jadedness. I won't name names, but I'm the under the impression that some of the younger women on the forum are often more introspective and mellow than their older counterparts...

I realise that I will be bashed for 'not being able to handle' mature women . Maybe that's true, or maybe I just don't want to. So? But a mellow, laidback, no angst/ADD 35 year old will have my attention any day of the week.

March 30, 2009

Of course not, I was sometimes compared to a mythical god in my youth. All I think about is whether I'm virile and attractive enough, and I am. Who cares past that?

Thinking that you're good enough to run a 4 minute mile doesn't mean you can run one.

Another fact!

March 30, 2009

Try it sometime?

I'm bored of it! It's like listening to the same record over and over.

Ok, I can dig that!

March 30, 2009

I'm just stating facts clv

Men in their 40's just aren't as virile or attractive.

I don't agree with this statement, there are attractive people of many different age groups in both genders. I understand you're trying to clue some in to the way this mindset makes you feel, but its never that easy with bigots.

As a younger lady, I would've dated an older man had any of them approached me with respect and a sincere desire to get to know me as a person. My experiences with older men were always with the ones who very obviously only wanted a sex partner younger than them and desired to use my perceived lack of wisdom due to year's experience as a way to deceive me and call all the shots in a relationship with me. Luckily, I was not taught to value money so heavily and felt capable of earning my own.

March 30, 2009

At the same time, I find that I can still attract younger females that usually come with lesser emotional baggage.

As do younger men. I have had older men hit on me that had a trunk load of unattractive emotional baggage and bitterness about women. Or talking down about their ex wives. Very petty. Very unattractive.

Sometimes when I see an older guy checking me out I stare back at him with a no-nonsense look. Seriously, it's a little offensive he thinks I should settle for him.

There is some correlation between increase in age and increase in jadedness. I won't name names, but I'm the under the impression that some of the younger women on the forum are often more introspective and mellow than their older counterparts...

Keep telling yourself that big fellow but keep on ignoring your own jadedness.

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Why do many men kid themselves with the whole younger woman thing?

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