Why do many men kid themselves with the whole younger woman thing?

[donnamaybe]

hahaha damn right. 20 year olds are not gonna take 40 years old seriously unless the 40 year old doesnt look 40, in which case if i was the guy when she asked my age i would let her guess. and if i was 40 and her dumb bimbo ass tells me " emmm... 34?" id be like " bingo! whoaa are you psychic or something? that was right on it!" ahaha and id deny my age to my grave.

 

its the sad truth. now everything is about money, and girls and boys will do anything. makes the world go round i guess. or the 40 year olds head go round because hs the sugar daddy paying for the 20 year old to get her hair done every two days and toes shined with jojoba oil derived from plants in brazil.

 

...while the 40 year old exec is busy at the grindstone 60+ hours a week, and his 20 something arm candy is doing the cabana boy in their marital bed.

[burning 4 revenge]

...while the 40 year old exec is busy at the grindstone 60+ hours a week, and his 20 something arm candy is doing the cabana boy in their marital bed.

thats not funny

[The Collector]

...while the 40 year old exec is busy at the grindstone 60+ hours a week, and his 20 something arm candy is doing the cabana boy in their marital bed.

 

And that scenario reflects badly on the man or the woman? Does mocking an older man/younger woman deal and reveling in her supposed infidelity and his alleged inability to satisfy her count as 'spewing bile' I wonder?

 

Many 40 year old men will be able to satisfy a woman far more ably than a 20 year old. Am I right or wrong?

[pollywag]

Many 40 year old men will be able to satisfy a woman far more ably than a 20 year old. Am I right or wrong?

 

 

Clearly you have never slept with a 25 yr old man. :love::love:

[donnamaybe]

And that scenario reflects badly on the man or the woman? Does mocking an older man/younger woman deal and reveling in her supposed infidelity and his alleged inability to satisfy her count as 'spewing bile' I wonder?

 

Many 40 year old men will be able to satisfy a woman far more ably than a 20 year old. Am I right or wrong?

 

 

It reflects badly on BOTH, and if you think there aren't women who marry men ONLY for money - well, I'm sorry to break it to ya - and if an old guy is so hell bent on marrying some little 20 something, he might just have to wonder what she's up to while he's at the office.

 

Now, granted, if two people TRULY fall in love, then the hell with age. But d'ya REALLY think Anna Nicole loved her husband or his money?

[The Collector]

Clearly you have never slept with a 25 yr old man. :love::love:

 

Clearly you've never slept with me.

[donnamaybe]

Clearly you've never slept with me.

 

GOOD comeback, I gotta say!!!

[clv0116]

.... if an old guy is so hell bent on marrying some little 20 something, he might just have to wonder what she's up to while he's at the office.

 

Because only age-different unions have fidelity issues?

[CommitmentPhobe]

You didn't indicate that at all in your original post:

 

 

 

Where in your original post did you state what you said in the part I put in bold?

 

That post signifies a rant

No THIS is a rant watch this -

 

 

 

. You're constantly use the second-person to indicate you are talking about men in their 40s dating women in their 20s. Examples:

 

--It doesn't matter how fast the car is, how big the house is, how fat the salary is, you ain't getting past hello.

--You don't get brownie points for being an exec amongst young women, you get the same sort of respect that their father would. A great guy, maybe? but shaggable? I think not.

--If you are in your 40's and are positioning yourself to do what you didn't do in your 20's forget it. The money you accumilated isn't unusual, you are not Clooney, you are not a babe magnet, the most you get is chewed up and spat out by a golddigger, because women in their 20's will run you ragged.

 

Does that not look like a rant to you? That looks like a rant to me. And it also looks like you're reacting negatively not positively. You also feel the need to brag about yourself on a messageboard: I am in my early 30's, good looking, in shape, relatively wealthy, bags of relationship experience. Right there you sounded like you were writing a personal ad. Then you go off on your flame post. But wait, according to you this isn't a flame post. This is just your coming-out-of-left field way of saying how unfair it would be if an older woman went after a younger man and her motives were in question. Right. How am I supposed to pick that up from your original post? How is anybody supposed to pick that up? Why couldn't you state plainly, "It's unfair how older women are judged for dating younger men while older men/younger female relationships are given less criticism"? Would that have been so hard? What's the point of the personal ad description, talking about brownie points, and broke musicians? Where did all that come from?

 

Also, I have a few arguments against your original post:

--Young attractive women don't generally hang out on dating sites. Wrong. Myspace is heavily populated by young women. In fact, that's who the majority of the members are. True, many go there for networking but they also go for dating as well. When you look at their profile and it says why they are on myspace many put down "dating" as a reason. Myspace is written a lot like a dating site as well, by the fact that their profile descriptions have sections where you type your address, height, ethnicity, any other info about yourself.

--they're out doing social things, they're not, and have never been interested in 40 something guys that approach them with the one dimensional offer of money

What exactly do you mean by "social things"? And do you really think there aren't any women who are interested in guys for money. *ahem* hookers.

--It doesn't matter how fast the car is, how big the house is, how fat the salary is, you ain't getting past hello.

Are you serious? Either the women in your day were less superficial or you've been out of the dating loop for too long, old man. The 20-something women I know seriously do talk about materialism as if it the highest denominator. Hell, that's why rappers keep talking about it because it makes all the young women go ga-ga.

--I know guys in their 40's that are on the rich list, do women go waga waga doe eyed for them? No they don't? Why? Because they were banging the broke musician last night.

What broke musicians are you talking about? Do you mean those indie rock musicians in Portland, OR and Seattle who play acoustic guitar in seedy bars? Those guys are getting a lot of chicks? Well, I guess they must be because half their songs are about women breaking up with them. I guess I should tell Ben Barnett from Kind of Like Spitting, who is in Seattle to quit moaning about his g/f problems because no matter what, young women won't leave his broke, whiney song-writting self for a mature, confident executive at Microsoft.

--Now how do I know this? Because I was that guy in my 20's that banged the women, and believe me, it didn't matter if I was strung out half the time and begging for a fiver for my breakfast, because it was fun to them. All I had to do was sing a song in front of a few people, go on and on about my music, and I was shaggable, period. Try doing that in your 40's, and you'll just come across as sad.

What's was the name of your stage name? Vanilla Ice? I'm sure V-Ice gets more ladies these days than Mick Jagger.

--If you are in your 40's and are positioning yourself to do what you didn't do in your 20's forget it. The money you accumilated isn't unusual, you are not Clooney, you are not a babe magnet, the most you get is chewed up and spat out by a golddigger, because women in their 20's will run you ragged.

You're basically saying women in their 20s are no good. An older, mature man with money, a good car, a big house, and a position as an executive in a big company can't handle them. Only a struggling musician in his 20s who begs for a five dollar bill and sings in no-name bars has the ability to sweep a young woman off her feet. HILARIOUS! I put that in all caps to indicate how much I'm laughing at you.

 

Give it up, man. You keep running around. Quit trying to pepper your response with, "you're just giving a straw-man argument, you have too many fallacies, and even if only one anonymous 20-something woman on an internet forum said she found guys in their 40s too creepy to date then that's good enough for me". You obviously don't know what the hell you're talking about. So how do you expect anyone else to be able to?

How long did it take you to type all that up? Watch this - all I need is a 2 second response to make my point :lmao:

[Sam Spade]

Anybody who strongly feels the constant urge to prove anything about themselves is a douche . How's that for a closing argument ?

[CommitmentPhobe]

Aren't they though?

Was it an argument? Sorry I just glanced at the message for a second and all I saw was "wah wah wah wah wah "

[pollywag]

Clearly you've never slept with me.

 

 

That's the thing, I am not interested in "sleeping"! Woof woof

[St. Nick]

My posts aren't anti-male. You're a married man and I gather married for a long time. You don't encounter the same issues I do with men dating and mating. You're allowed to think what you want about me though of course.

 

 

St.Nick, MySpace isn't a dating site. People might say they are dating and people might hook up from Myspace but it was originally a music site. It's nothing like a real dating site like match.com.

 

You're example of using hookers as an example when talking about normal male/female dating rituals is ridiculous.

 

The reason rappers talk about materialism is because the rappers themselves are materialistic. With their tricked out cars and crap. hate to tell you but some young men go just as crazy over these examples of money as some women can be. All in all though, I don't know one person that really admires rappers despite their money and showing off.

 

You're arguements are really lame.

Myspace may not be just like a real dating site, but nevertheless it is used for dating by many of the users. The fact that a huge majority of people start dating through myspace cannot be denied.

 

Maybe you are right about the hookers part but are you serious about not knowing one person who really admires rappers? You are in NEW JERSEY. Are you seriously going to tell me you don't know any 20-something women who admire/idolize rapper's? Are you a recluse? It is impossible to live in New Jersey and not meet some 20-year old females who idolize/admire rappers. That's like saying you're from the South and don't know anyone who likes sweet tea. Or like saying you live in Vegas and never met a person who has been to a casino. That's utterly ridiculous.

[St. Nick]

Myspace is a haven for douches that refuse to grow who are starting up rock bands at the age of 50, and little girls who are trying to be discovered to get into porn, fluffers for music videos, or Girls Gone Wild type band groupies. Anyone else who does not fit into that category stumbled upon the site by mistake and doesn't know any better.

Cool young women are getting the cool guys IRL, not hanging out on some cesspool maggot infested pseudo porn site like Myspace pretending "it's cool to find a date online". ONLY LOSERS in their 20's need find dates on Myspace. Next try to tell me Craigslist is a classy way to meet interesting young desirable singles.

But whatever as long as you are aware your standards are way below the average person's we are all good!

 

 

 

Honey if you have to ask you need to get out more.

 

 

 

 

 

He means the ones who legitimately have Myspace profiles for their legitimate bands because they are young, cool and artisitc, and who are actually getting all the action from women they meet at their gigs. You know the kind, the type that young women who are forced to go for 50 yr old douches but WISH they could get the young hot musicians, but don't have a chance in hell because they are simply not good enough for those cool guys.

 

Those kinds.

 

Let's face face it while the beautiful smart young women are snatching up the hot doctors, DJ's, rock stars, stock brokers, the young women who simply don't cut it are being talked up by the 50 yr old loser that can't go up a flight of stairs without panting, is losing his hair, smells like my granfather's Lazyboy cushions, and who's only reedeeming quality is that his arthritis still permits him to flicker UrbanSoon on his iPhone. "Ohhhh look what I can do my little lasshy. Look at what my $20 and hour sales job expenses so that I can lay you tonight, can I buy you a meal?"

 

:laugh:

Myspace is a haven for douches that refuse to grow who are starting up rock bands at the age of 50, and little girls who are trying to be discovered to get into porn, fluffers for music videos, or Girls Gone Wild type band groupies. Anyone else who does not fit into that category stumbled upon the site by mistake and doesn't know any better.

Cool young women are getting the cool guys IRL, not hanging out on some cesspool maggot infested pseudo porn site like Myspace pretending "it's cool to find a date online". ONLY LOSERS in their 20's need find dates on Myspace. Next try to tell me Craigslist is a classy way to meet interesting young desirable singles.

But whatever as long as you are aware your standards are way below the average person's we are all good!

This is only your opinion of myspace. It doesn't change the fact that it is used for dating. I could say junk about plentyoffish, match.com, e-Harmony or any other dating site and it still wouldn't change the fact that it is used for dating, which is my point: myspace is a dating website used by 20-something year old women. Thus, unlike what Committphobe said, 20-something women are on dating sites.

 

Honey if you have to ask you need to get out more.

Fine. I have to ask, and I need to get out more. Answer the question. What do you mean by "social things"?

 

He means the ones who legitimately have Myspace profiles for their legitimate bands because they are young, cool and artisitc, and who are actually getting all the action from women they meet at their gigs. You know the kind, the type that young women who are forced to go for 50 yr old douches but WISH they could get the young hot musicians, but don't have a chance in hell because they are simply not good enough for those cool guys.

Those kinds.

There are a lot, and I mean a lot of band profiles on myspace. Many of those bands suck. I should know I go to a lot of gigs. That's why I have a problem with the broke musician part. I've been to so many rock shows where the cute women were utterly bored out of their minds and didn't even stick around to talk to the band members after the gigs. Are you trying to say these women are so superficial that they'll date a man because he's young, cool, artistic, and trendy but aren't superficial enough to date a man based on his wealth, his job, his house and his car? Right. Unfortunately, there are a lot of women who simply aren't good enough to go after broke musicians and instead are forced to go for the 40-year old douchebags with money, a real job, and a big house.

[Jersey Shortie]

Many 40 year old men will be able to satisfy a woman far more ably than a 20 year old. Am I right or wrong?

 

I have found that a skilled man in the sack isn't dependent on age at all. You either got it, or you don't.

[mental_traveller]

The reason why prostitutes exist is so that old men can root and attractive women.

 

The women don't mind b/c it just goes in for a bit, shoots out some stuff then it goes limp, the man loses interest and she makes like 200 bucks. Pretty easy if you ask me.

 

Most young girls are grossed out by the thought of an old man humping her. They're old enough to be her father.

 

I kind of liked how women don't look at young men the same way old men look at young women. Thought it was rather admirable... apparently I was a bit wrong.

 

The thought of my with a 50 year old woman is not only ridiculous, it is just ordinarily disgusting. She'd be all wrinkley and fat... why would I want to be with someone like that ? She'd probably smell bad too...

 

Yuck...

 

I'm sure she'd think I was just as gross..

 

But there are 50 year old women who are attractive. A natural beauty who hits 50 and keeps herself in shape can look more attractive than the typical 25 year old, and WAY more attractive than a younger fattie or minger.

[mental_traveller]

Well that was worthless. Are you another guy who's creating an alternate reality? I don't honestly believe that men over 40 are biologically useless. Just tired of the bashing for women over the age of 30. You need to hang around a bit more before taking people to task so you understand why some "harsh" facts are being illustrated by women in their twenties and thirties about men in their forties. We're sick and tired of the misogyny.

 

There's nothing mysogynistic about stating something that is factually true. It's a fact that older people tend to look worse and be in inferior physical condition. I'm a man in my 30s and am not in as good shape as when I was in my 20s.

 

If you're a woman, one aspect of ageing is being unable to reproduce. That's a fact. There's nothing sexist in pointing it out.

 

Some men prefer to be with a woman they can have kids with. That means women over 40 are out of contention. Unless you think there is something wrong with wanting to have kids, then I don't see how you can rationally complain about a man having a preference for women under 35-40.

 

So, if someone points out that older men have inferior sperm, sure that's true to an extent - but older women have a far bigger problem with reproducing...they can't. Let's stick to facts? Once again, misogyny has nothing to do with it, because we are talking pure facts not prejudice.

[mental_traveller]

Yes of course they can. Funny how your real world experiences go against mine, all I've seen most women make fun of these guys or get irritated with them leering at them like a slab of meat while performing the grandad dance

 

I was trying to think of an appropriate way of describing such men that you are easily impressed with (by the way their stories are never half way near the truth), and I finally decided what the best way I can summarise it with is

 

Lack of class

 

You are talking about a particular sub-group of older man i.e. pathetic lechers. I am talking about older men in general, so I brought up the fact that some older men can attract younger women and it's not an attempt to recapture their youth, it's simply an attraction to good-looking girls. Was Michael Douglas a pathetic lech when Catherine Zeta-Jones made a beeline for him? Is George Clooney a loser for dating 20something beauties? No. Douglas was attracted to a good-looking younger woman who could still have kids. George Clooney likes pretty girls and 20somethings are prettier on average than women his own age.

 

Cut back to normal people and there are some older guys who either want kids or want pretty girls, their natural target group is going to be women age 18-35, not 35-50. Once again, don't assume that ALL older men are in the loser category, because there are other legitimate reasons for them to date younger.

 

It's no different to a 45 year old women who looks great for her age, choosing to date guys 10-20 years younger than herself. If she can manage it, good for her. I don't go round bashing older women going after toyboys, so I don't see why you or anyone else should bash older men for prefering younger women, if that's their choice.

[mental_traveller]

Really, do you live in a region where a great plague has wiped out the 20-27 year old male population???

 

I doubt it- chicks are just as discerning about looks as men.

Nice try though. Most people tend to pair up in the same age/attractiveness bracket. 8's pair up with 8's and so on and so forth.

 

 

Unless your friends use ruffies or possess mind control... I doubt it.

 

Experience, charisma, keeping in good condition, success, confidence, having the type of looks that age well - all these things can offset being older. Brad Pitt at 40 would be a better catch than a fat ugly janitor at 23. Right?

 

In addition, women generally pay less attention to looks than men. Women on average marry men a bit older than themselves. Men on average marry a bit younger

 

In some cases, some of these factors in combination will result in say a 26 or 34 year old woman ending up with a 39 or 48 year old guy. Or are you claiming that never happens?

 

I have dated within 15 years of my own age plus and minus. According to your opinion I had no chance with the younger women, and the older women had no chance with me. My experience says that actually the age wasn't that big a deal compared to other factors.

[mental_traveller]

Excuse me I am not 21 and I concur it is "ewww and icky". GROSSSS!!

 

A middle aged man getting it on with a 19 yr old girl is gross, plain and simple. HE is and old pervert that is abusing a girl.

 

At 19 a woman can fight in a war, run for political office, and marry. She is legally, emotionally, and morally an adult.

 

Two fat people getting it on is gross, so is two ugly people, so is two 75 year olds. Just because you find something gross does not mean there is anything wrong with it.

 

You seem to live in this delusional world where you assume your personal aesthetic preferences actually matter one iota in any moral or objective sense. They do not. Your prejudices and tastes are just that - your own quirky little views on the world. The rightness or wrongness of how other people live their lives is nothing whatsoever to do with those little quirky tastes of yours, and you should stop pretending that it has any bearing on anything.

 

For someone over 21, perhaps you should learn to *live and let live*. If two people are happy with each other, who are you to begrudge them that because their age gap goes above your personal idea of a mandatory maximum?

[Jersey Shortie]

There's nothing mysogynistic about stating something that is factually true.

 

But you only take part of the facts and fail to admit to the other side of it. Such as the part where men age and nature isn't exactly telling men to have children into old age. Even if you can, that's not the optium best. You want to preach about the optium best in picking women but not acknowledge your own part in it. Not hold yourself to the same standards you want to hold women.

 

 

Some men prefer to be with a woman they can have kids with. That means women over 40 are out of contention. Unless you think there is something wrong with wanting to have kids, then I don't see how you can rationally complain about a man having a preference for women under 35-40.

 

I think there is something wrong with men living in an extended adolesence that thinks life should wait for him and that somehow he can be the energentic engaged father at 40 that he could have been at 30, same as with women. Unfortunetly, that seems to be the way most men are. they want to hold women more accountable then they want to hold themselves. The sad thing is too many men now-a-days don't want to grow up. It's hard to respect men like that. That want to keep pointing all all the ways they find women defecit and lacking but keep tooting their own horn about how wonderful they are. They want to only discuss what a woman has to offer and have yet to see men talk about what they think they offer. But i guess that's the way men want it. Because it is leaving the impression that you as a man, can live life to the fullest, wait forever to make lifestyle choices and statisfy yourself while women should conform to your idea of them and be happy with the scraps men throw our way. You win as a man, you have the power and women loose are powerless and should be happy with anything you want to give us. Isn't that the underlying message? Men want the power and want it at the cost of women?

 

 

 

So, if someone points out that older men have inferior sperm, sure that's true to an extent - but older women have a far bigger problem with reproducing...they can't. Let's stick to facts? Once again, misogyny has nothing to do with it, because we are talking pure facts not prejudice.

 

While I don't think you hate women, I don't think you hold yourself up to the same standards yo uhold women. You want leeway and respect for things you dno't think women should have. An older man can have children but that doesn't mean he should or that that's fair to do to his own children or that he isn't negatively effecting that child. Nature doesn't tell men to wait. Men are most strong in their youth for a reason. If you are going to hold women accountable for nature then you must hold yourself accountable for the same. The truth is, nature has many factors that don't want older men having children. That's the reality. You can of course have them, but are you making the choice that is fair to your child? To your wife? Who will be burdened with doing more because you can't be the partner at 40 that you could have been at 30? Isn't that the argument you? You want women to comrpomise and settle for an aging mate but don't think you as male should? How do you expect women to want to work with you or respect you if that's what you think is "fair".

 

This is about power. Not about being a real partner to a woman in life.

[voldigicam]

Pretty funny - pick a position and pound it!

 

Not all 20 somethings are alike. Some are shallow, some are surprisingly deep. Some fat. Some skinny.

 

Same with 50 somethings. My various body workers initially figure out that I'm in my 50s. They usually ask how old I am. They generally guess 45. Instead of 54. And I can keep up with the 35 year olds on bicycles usually.

 

"the young women who simply don't cut it are being talked up by the 50 yr old loser that can't go up a flight of stairs without panting, is losing his hair, smells like my granfather's Lazyboy cushions, and who's only reedeeming quality is that his arthritis still permits him to flicker UrbanSoon on his iPhone. "Ohhhh look what I can do my little lasshy. Look at what my $20 and hour sales job expenses so that I can lay you tonight, can I buy you a meal?"

 

I think I actually see that happening sometimes! It is pretty weird, but if there's a match, why not?

 

But I have to disagree with the characterization of 50 year olds. I ride with a 60 year old guy who is currently smoking me on the hills. Yes, we're losing our hair. Yes, there's a little arthritis. But hey, we can work things out. I've worn out more than one 20 something fellow working in the woods. I can split wood about 3 pieces to 2 against most of them, and go much longer. Skill and efficiency, knowing what I'm up against. And I'm certainly not alone. Don't need viagra. Don't need help up the stairs.

 

And the 20 somethings don't really have that much skill in bed. Not nearly as much as they think. Maybe some do, but that's likely rare.

 

As to being a good dad. Hmm. I see plenty of bad young dads. And good older ones. I have a 10 year old, born when I was 44. At least he'll be 10 next week. I can keep up with him. I figure I'll last as a really viable powerful force until he's 20. I'm older than I would have liked, but my first wife was defective. It just took us a while to get that second kid.

 

 

So watch all the gross simplifications.

[clv0116]

I have dated within 15 years of my own age plus and minus. According to your opinion I had no chance with the younger women, and the older women had no chance with me. My experience says that actually the age wasn't that big a deal compared to other factors.

 

I've dated from 16 years older to 23 years younger, which interestingly enough almost perfectly centers about the average age disparity in marriages. After experimenting around I've determined that I can have younger women and I prefer them. As a bonus, they are less likely to have fertility issues.

 

Win, win, win.

[Jersey Shortie]

Vold, usually older men can't keep up. That's really just the reality. Not for you and that's great but a man becoming a father at 40+ just isn't as good for the woman or his child as a man at 30 being one. Especially if you're a younger woman, why waste yourself on someone that age? I've seen many older crappy fathers too... and really, age has nothing to do with how good a guy is at sex.

[sumdude]

Vold, usually older men can't keep up. That's really just the reality. Not for you and that's great but a man becoming a father at 40+ just isn't as good for the woman or his child as a man at 30 being one. Especially if you're a younger woman, why waste yourself on someone that age? I've seen many older crappy fathers too... and really, age has nothing to do with how good a guy is at sex.

 

JS you appear to have a slightly skewed view on aging. We're not talking about playing in the NFL though there are still some guys in their 40's on the field.

 

Let's see my dad was 40 what I was born. He was a super father and just passed away a few months ago at 81. The idea that anyone over 40+ is that much less capable of raising a child is ludicrous. So many of my friends are having children in their late 30's and early 40's. It's unfortunate just how many of the ladies had to go through some hard fertility treatments in order to conceive. I went through that with my ex-wife, she was only 37 at the time and wasn't able to get pregnant. The hormone treatments wreaked havoc on her emotional state and she wasn't the most stable in the world to begin with.

 

All that aside these people are all super parents who keep up quite well with the kids. They live stable lives and offer the children a solid atmosphere to grow in.