Why do many men kid themselves with the whole younger woman thing?

March 31, 2009

Yup. Funny enough the oldest woman I'm dating is originally from overseas and when we first met she was concerned she was getting old and she was too old for me. She was 25 at the time. Back home her parents worry because she's still single at her "advanced age".

Now why doesn't it surprise me that this is the type of woman you are dating

March 31, 2009

Now why doesn't it surprise me that this is the type of woman you are dating

I KNOW! She probably walks 5 steps behind him everywhere they go.

March 31, 2009

JS, don't legitimize ANYTHING clv has to say by actually putting any weight on it.

I mean, think about it. We should pity him - a guy who knows he'll have to buy a wife

Sometimes I do pity him to be honest but sometimes his posts after awhile get tedious and frustrating. It's like the only topic he can ever talk about anyway. And how he thinks he is more deserving of things then other people in the same situation and status is beyond me.

I give props to CommitmentPhobe. and actually, CommitmentPhobe is the type of older man i would date. Not ones that thought they scored because I was younger.

March 31, 2009

Sometimes I do pity him to be honest but sometimes his posts after awhile get tedious and frustrating. It's like the only topic he can ever talk about anyway. And how he thinks he is more deserving of things then other people in the same situation and status is beyond me.

I give props to CommitmentPhobe. and actually, CommitmentPhobe is the type of older man i would date. Not ones that thought they scored because I was younger.

Aw thanks. I completely understand the frustrating thing because it's annoying me too, and I'm not even female.

But I wouldn't worry about men who don't even understand their lack of class. A lot of men do genuinely like the opposite sex and don't treat them as commodities.

March 31, 2009

You keep wanting to stress how women shouldn't want or expect love and relationships after a certain age yet toot your own horn about how deserving you are of it. You deserve it but women don't. Now your saying 25 year old women are too old.

I am so discouraged about men right now. I really give up. There is no way that men want to give us the oppurtunity to win with them. Instead it seems that quite a few of them want to belittle and discourage.

I think it's more a case of 40 year old men who want wives in their twenties trying to instil fear into women who are in their 20s. "Come on, come on. Time's running out. Better say yes...." If there are any attacks on older single women involved, the aim is probably not to hurt those women's feelings but to increase pressure on younger woman. "Come on....you don't want to be like her do you???"

It's about trying to increase options, I think. A guy hits 40, starts getting anxious that maybe finding the perfect, trustworthy, ever-loving 25 year old Stepford wife isn't going to be quite the breeze he's been led to believe...

You don't need to feel discouraged about men. I don't think it's in any woman's best interests to believe that there's some Prince Charming out there. Someone who's going to shield her from every bit of unpleasantness and misogyny the world has to offer, and remain loyal to her for the rest of his life. That's a recipe for disillusionment.

All we can do is shrug off the opinions of the men we don't get along with, give the ones we do like the benefit of the doubt...and resolve that whatever happens, we'll deal with it.

March 31, 2009

I KNOW! She probably walks 5 steps behind him everywhere they go.

If I asked her to, she probably would, but then she'd probably get tired of that and leave after a bit too. As it is we walk hand in hand most places, sometimes arm in arm.

March 31, 2009

I think it's more a case of 40 year old men who want wives in their twenties trying to instil fear into women who are in their 20s. "Come on, come on. Time's running out. Better say yes...." If there are any attacks on older single women involved, the aim is probably not to hurt those women's feelings but to increase pressure on younger woman. "Come on....you don't want to be like her do you???"

It's about trying to increase options, I think. A guy hits 40, starts getting anxious that maybe finding the perfect, trustworthy, ever-loving 25 year old Stepford wife isn't going to be quite the breeze he's been led to believe...

I never thought of it that way. When you put it in that light--- it is a shaming technique that is aimed indirectly at older women but is really a clarion call for younger women as Exhibit A of not wanting to end up being the crazy cat lady or the pathetically trawling cougar skank 40 year old club ho'. In either case, I recall Cherry Blossom stating how women are reminded everyday of their mortality--of their age, thus we don't need to hear men keep reinforcing this mantra every day--but then the technique is to frighten, intimidate and belittle. It’s not the patronizing condescending concern for our deteriorating eggs and youth it’s just a means to assert power that man’s potency and viability is infinitely longer than a woman.

March 31, 2009

I never thought of it that way ..... it’s just a means to assert power that man’s potency and viability is infinitely longer than a woman.

Yes, we're all part of a secret cabal committed to extending the power of the patriarchy.

March 31, 2009

I think it's more a case of 40 year old men who want wives in their twenties trying to instil fear into women who are in their 20s. "Come on, come on. Time's running out. Better say yes...." If there are any attacks on older single women involved, the aim is probably not to hurt those women's feelings but to increase pressure on younger woman. "Come on....you don't want to be like her do you???"

It's about trying to increase options, I think. A guy hits 40, starts getting anxious that maybe finding the perfect, trustworthy, ever-loving 25 year old Stepford wife isn't going to be quite the breeze he's been led to believe...

You don't need to feel discouraged about men. I don't think it's in any woman's best interests to believe that there's some Prince Charming out there. Someone who's going to shield her from every bit of unpleasantness and misogyny the world has to offer, and remain loyal to her for the rest of his life. That's a recipe for disillusionment.

All we can do is shrug off the opinions of the men we don't get along with, give the ones we do like the benefit of the doubt...and resolve that whatever happens, we'll deal with it.

Interesting post. I agree with most of it. The one thing I wonder is, if these 40 year old men are trying to scare the 20 year old women on these boards, don't they know that there probably scaring them into the arms of younger men?

March 31, 2009

I think it's more a case of 40 year old men who want wives in their twenties trying to instil fear into women who are in their 20s. "Come on, come on. Time's running out. Better say yes...." If there are any attacks on older single women involved, the aim is probably not to hurt those women's feelings but to increase pressure on younger woman. "Come on....you don't want to be like her do you???"

It's about trying to increase options, I think. A guy hits 40, starts getting anxious that maybe finding the perfect, trustworthy, ever-loving 25 year old Stepford wife isn't going to be quite the breeze he's been led to believe...

You don't need to feel discouraged about men. I don't think it's in any woman's best interests to believe that there's some Prince Charming out there. Someone who's going to shield her from every bit of unpleasantness and misogyny the world has to offer, and remain loyal to her for the rest of his life. That's a recipe for disillusionment.

All we can do is shrug off the opinions of the men we don't get along with, give the ones we do like the benefit of the doubt...and resolve that whatever happens, we'll deal with it.

There's no doubt it's a power tool, intended to stuff women back into the boxes of alternate realities, alternate realities created by "personal preferences" and personal insecurities.

It's the same tactic that PUA communities use on naive women. Erode on her self-esteem, which makes her an easy target because she'll be looking for your approval after that. It's the same dynamic as what's used in a scenario of abuse and torture. The victim learns to please the abuser/torturer, sometimes even falling in love with them, for scraps of affection and sometimes, just to stop the abuse/torture.

It's sick manipulation.

March 31, 2009

Interesting post. I agree with most of it. The one thing I wonder is, if these 40 year old men are trying to scare the 20 year old women on these boards, don't they know that there probably scaring them into the arms of younger men?

It makes sense that 40 year old men would feel compelled to use fear and mortality to pressure young women to pick them over younger, potentially less stable men. All of our actions to seek out partners may seem like its just about sex, but that is secondary to the drive to pro-create. Men try to distance themselves from that and think its women who are most interested in babies rather than the sex. They lie to themselves and assure each other that its about the sex for them rather than the babies. But this is because they are under a lot of pressure due to the biological drive to replicate their DNA while lacking the uterus to achieve this so easily. They also are less assured that they are the fathers; another pressure that weighs on them and not on women. We know if the child is ours! If they can convince a younger woman to share her uterus, the older male can have more years of trying to achieve success, and have a woman who knows less men than an older female might. Scaring her with her own mortality is a good idea and might keep her from focusing so much on his own, more immediate mortality concerns.

Then there is the added benefit of her still being spry enough to wipe his geriatric behind till he dies and then go get a job to care for the kids he can't remember she had with him.

Is it just me that cannot read any of this thread without remembering Adam Sandler exclaiming "Old BALLS!" When he met his ex GF's much older new BF?

I don't care who dates who. I'm just glad I didn't get duped into being a nurse maid.

March 31, 2009

Hahaha I'm loving watching these men trying to assert authority over women because their sperm last longer than a woman's eggs.

The thing is, many women are choosing to have kids on their own rather than be with the wrong guy. There was a big article recently about how many well-educated women are staying single by choice well into their 40s and beyond.

There's adoption or artificial insemination or even not having children... women, at least the educated ones who can take care of themselves, are a lot less likely to feel bullied or intimidated into settling because a clock is ticking.

So, what's left? The guys who want to feel superior rather than develop a healthy bond are left with needy or manipulative women.

None of this is to say that having a good relationship with a man is not a wonderful thing. Finding the right person is something to strive for, absolutely. But I think it takes a lot more than a sperm count and a bank account for most bright, educated, independent women to settle.

Besides, even men have to no job security these days. I know a few cases first-hand of women supporting the families because the men have lost their big, fancy finance jobs and are too stubborn to learn something new.

Oh well, just my thoughts on this issue.

March 31, 2009

Hahaha I'm loving watching these men trying to assert authority over women because their sperm last longer than a woman's eggs.

The thing is, many women are choosing to have kids on their own rather than be with the wrong guy. There was a big article recently about how many well-educated women are staying single by choice well into their 40s and beyond.

There's adoption or artificial insemination or even not having children... women, at least the educated ones who can take care of themselves, are a lot less likely to feel bullied or intimidated into settling because a clock is ticking.

So, what's left? The guys who want to feel superior rather than develop a healthy bond are left with needy or manipulative women.

None of this is to say that having a good relationship with a man is not a wonderful thing. Finding the right person is something to strive for, absolutely. But I think it takes a lot more than a sperm count and a bank account for most bright, educated, independent women to settle.

Besides, even men have to no job security these days. I know a few cases first-hand of women supporting the families because the men have lost their big, fancy finance jobs and are too stubborn to learn something new.

Oh well, just my thoughts on this issue.

That kinda reinforces the sour mood of all these threads . Per your own descriptoin a driven, stubborn, succesful woman in her 40s doesn't even like men , if so, why even bother pursuing girls like her ? Why not focus on girls more open to the idea of building a commited relationship and a family with a man? Shocking concept, apparently, since the ones that do are all needy and/or manipulative...

Basically, modern gender roles (or what's left of them) are simply not conducive to stable, family-oriented relationships. Part of the angst on both sides is due simly to joint denial/refusal to accept it. So the options are either to give up (i.e. have other types of relationships instead), or to try to beat the odds by looking for partners with specific traits that *might* be conducive to establishing such a relationship, no matter how elusive it seems...

March 31, 2009

That kinda reinforces the sour mood of all these threads . Per your own descriptoin a driven, stubborn, succesful woman in her 40s doesn't even like men , if so, why even bother pursuing girls like her ? Why not focus on girls more open to the idea of building a commited relationship and a family with a man? Shocking concept, apparently, since the ones that do are all needy and/or manipulative...

Basically, modern gender roles (or what's left of them) are simply not conducive to stable, family-oriented relationships. Part of the angst on both sides is due simly to joint denial/refusal to accept it. So the options are either to give up (i.e. have other types of relationships instead), or to try to beat the odds by looking for partners with specific traits that *might* be conducive to establishing such a relationship, no matter how elusive it seems...

Wow, that's not what I was saying at all.

March 31, 2009

Part of the angst on both sides is due simly to joint denial/refusal to accept it.

What needs to be accepted by whom Sam?

March 31, 2009

How many times have you been in a club and laughed at the old cougar parading around in her low cut top and Itailan shoes trying to get the attention of men half her age? We all do it because it is a sad pathetic sight that anyone who has an inch of grey matter can spot and laugh at a mile away. Some women are less subtle than that in how they dress and the flesh they display but the desperation is still very noticeable. They are desperately trying to hang on to something that has escaped them many decades ago, no matter how you slice it and that's a humorous thing to see.

Not attacking cougars of course. Just pointing out that if a man said the above it would be Misogyny O'clock.

It's the same thing, I make no discrimination between displaced old douche bag men and displaced nut job cougars. They are all a pathetic sight to see, please!

I also find it really annoying how women in particular, and I see this a lot, always have to preempt their sharing of pictures online with "look I am 40 but I look like I am 30 don't you think?" ahhh no you don't, you look 45 possibly even 48. Why are people always trying to be something they are clearly not? If you are 45 you should look 45 and look great at 45 not 45 trying to be 25. Be proud of how you look, stop with the " but I look a lot younger" it makes you look like a boob when you make comments like that.

Men do it too. I see men always saying "I feel like I am 32 and am young at heart and I get told I am a lot younger than I am, when they are in their 40's 50's, well stop acting your shoe size and people will not only tell you what they really think about how you look but you will gain a LOT more respect while you are at it too. "You look like a 45 yr old douche bag trying to be a kid again, is that the look you were going for?"

That kind of desperate self promotion and neediness to be reassured they look young, goes hand in hand with the same things I personally laugh at when I see a woman too old to be wearing her hair a certain way with a booby top and a mini skirt, get a grip!!!

March 31, 2009

And on that note... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkoTN-_QPZk

March 31, 2009

:lmao::lmao: "Just a small town girl, living in a lonely woooooorld......"

The cougar anthem!!! We used to vacation at our summer house and when we were teenagers and strated going to the local bars we would laugh so hard at the cougars dancing on the bar to their coug-anthems, Journey is till the number one coug-anthem!!!

March 31, 2009

And on that note... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkoTN-_QPZk

Oh god you're killing me

March 31, 2009

Oh god you're killing me

The look on Ken's face when she started in on that pole. hee hee

March 31, 2009

think it's more a case of 40 year old men who want wives in their twenties trying to instil fear into women who are in their 20s. "Come on, come on. Time's running out. Better say yes...." If there are any attacks on older single women involved, the aim is probably not to hurt those women's feelings but to increase pressure on younger woman. "Come on....you don't want to be like her do you???"

It's about trying to increase options, I think. A guy hits 40, starts getting anxious that maybe finding the perfect, trustworthy, ever-loving 25 year old Stepford wife isn't going to be quite the breeze he's been led to believe...

You don't need to feel discouraged about men. I don't think it's in any woman's best interests to believe that there's some Prince Charming out there. Someone who's going to shield her from every bit of unpleasantness and misogyny the world has to offer, and remain loyal to her for the rest of his life. That's a recipe for disillusionment.

All we can do is shrug off the opinions of the men we don't get along with, give the ones we do like the benefit of the doubt...and resolve that whatever happens, we'll deal with it.

Very good points Tara...and ones I agree with. There is alot of truth there.

March 31, 2009

The look on Ken's face when she started in on that pole. hee hee

OMG that was hilarious... I liked the boobs falling on the floor..

March 31, 2009

but I have to agree with Polly... older people who dress like teenagers only look stupid..

We see older men like that too... they have nooo idea how dumb they look...

March 31, 2009

All I am saying is this..

Ladies, if you want a good man, concentrate on that a bit younger. You can work, go to school, etc, but do not think age makes no difference, and men will be lined up for you when you are mid 30's-40.

That is a factual statement. If that makes me a misogynist trying to control women, then so be it.

March 31, 2009

All I am saying is this..

Ladies, if you want a good man, concentrate on that a bit younger. You can work, go to school, etc, but do not think age makes no difference, and men will be lined up for you when you are mid 30's-40.

That is a factual statement. If that makes me a misogynist trying to control women, then so be it.

I'm sorry, but its hard to take you seriously while I live as a direct indication that your statement is incorrect.

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Why do many men kid themselves with the whole younger woman thing?

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