goober_20 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 I've started to really like this girl who I work with,this has been going on for some time but I always thought she was straight so I never made a move or let her know I was interested. I found out last week she was gay and she asked for my number. That night she text me and we were chatting about work stuff and she told me she has a gf. I was disappointed but I didn't let her know that. She then kept putting words like babe,hun ect in the texts and told me she used to fancy me. I didn't know what to say and I jus averted the question when she asked me if I fancy her too. I saw her the other day at work and we went out for a drink and hung out for a bit. She text me as soon as I left saying she had fun and she flirted all night when we were out. She also talked about her gf lots and said she loved her and was happy in the relationship but sometimes wishes she wasnt in it. This is starting to hurt me,the constant flirting ect, if I don't text her back, she will just text me again. I want to be her gf but I don't know if she means this seriously or is just having a laugh with me. Does anyone recognise this type of behaviour? Also I don't want to break her and her gf, if she is happy thats fine but I just wish she would stop flirting ect if she isn't interested. It hurts me a lot. Thanks for reading. Does anyone have any advice/Been there themselves? Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Has she been dating girls for a long time or is she relatively new to the gay scene? It's a complicated situation for sure, since she may have no interest in men other than friends. If she's testing the waters, so to speak, then she may still be unsure if she is straight, bi-sexual or gay. She could be playing the field with you. Of course, she could just be really friendly towards you. Sort of like how a gay man will flirt relentlessly with a girl friend, but it's only that kind of flirting that happens when there is zero sexual tension between the two parties. Why did you avoid her question when she asked if you fancy her? If you do, then why in the world didn't you tell her? She presented you with the opportunity to tell her, even if it was dealing with the past. You may have to swallow your feelings for this person, especially if she's in a committed relationship. Rarely is it ever healthy to break someone up, even more so to break them up and push them back into a straight relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goober_20 Posted March 31, 2009 Author Share Posted March 31, 2009 Im a girl. I don't know why I didn't put that, it was late. Sorry for the confusion. You are right though I should have said I did have feelings for her when she asked. I'm hoping the question comes up again. I think I may have to swallow my feelings and I am really going to try because I think she is just flirting without any motive to do anything else especially when I told her I didn't fancy her. I think I'm going to regret not saying yes lol. Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 She might still be flirting with you just to test your reaction as she might have some feelings still hidden down somewhere. Was she single when she asked you that question? If she was, she might have taken your inaction as a sign. You have to remember that no decision is still a decision. Inaction is still an action. She might have moved on and now you're left out of the equation. I'll never understand why people avoid direct questions like that, regardless of your feelings. I don't mean that as directed to you either, I mean people in general and even myself. Why can't people embrace their raw emotions sometimes? Why did you think avoiding the question was a good thing? There had to be some reason that despite you feeling the same way she did that you thought that you must not give her the answer. Was your life going through a rough spot or did you just get out of a long relationship? For now I really do think you need to step back for a bit. You never know what the future holds, but the present is now. If her flirting is really starting to bug you, you might have to deal with that in some way. Either by telling her or yourself just backing down a bit further. Sorry if I'm digging a little too deep, if I am you do not have to answer. Link to post Share on other sites
celine Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 I agree with WTRanger that you need to step back for a bit. Has she been flirting with other girls as well? Link to post Share on other sites
Author goober_20 Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 She asked me just last week if I fancied her so I'm really unsure why she was asking. Maybe she was just teasing me I don't know but I didn't say yes so I have no way of knowing. I completely agree about not answering the question. I think I just didn't answer because she is completely out of my league and I didn't want to say yes and have it be uncomfortable at work if she were to knock me back. This weekend I am at work with her and some other friends who will be sure to try and make something between us since they both found out we were into girls and I think want something to happen. Shes still texting me all the time putting sweet words like babe ect but then she told me how much she loved her gf and how she would never let anyone come between them. I think I'm just wishful thinking and she is just flirting for the fun of it. I wish she had never told me shes ever fancied me because now I can't get her out of my head hoping she likes me. She doesn't flirt with anyone just me although all the guys at work fancy her (she really is that pretty). *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
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