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Sometimes it's just the wrong moment in time...


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Sometimes people just meet at the wrong point in time. As some know I'm in the middle of a divorce right now. It's to the point now where it's just about waiting for the courts to send out the paper in about 5 more months and that is that. No more contesting, arguments, or anything. Soon to be ex lives 1500 miles away now and there aren't really anymore hard feelings between us. Yeah it was messed up the way she ended it but I moved on, she moved on, it is what it is and most of the hard tough times for me have past. Yeah there are still issues that I need to resolve that really have nothing to do with her anymore. More about getting my life in order and figuring out what I want now since a lot of the past so many years were about building a future for her and family.

 

Anyway a little over a month ago I started talking to this one woman who was friends with one of my friends friend. We met a couple times, then started chatting, talking. We shared a lot in common and it was weird because a lot of the things we do are weird and crazy at times..something most people would just call you crazy for doing. You don't meet that many people that are that adventurous and crazy thats for sure. I haven't met many females that were and she seemed crazier than I. So we talked some and then hung out a few times and it seemed she was really into me. I mean the one night she contacted me all day to make sure I was still going to hang out with her that night. Heck the one night it seemed like her friends seemed to know me even though I never met them before.

 

But honestly at that point it was more about making ex jealous, making myself feel good, making my friends think I was the man cause this woman, a few years younger than I was drop dead gorgeous and intelligent. She had a lot going for her. The problem was I was a mess. I really had no clue why the hell she would like me for one...after my ex cheated and did what she did i was not really high on my own confidence chart.. Yeah I could pretend and wound up with plenty of numbers and hook ups for a bit, but actually getting to know somebody and hanging with them was different. Couldn't really pretend for that long if you know what I mean. I out of all the people I've met over the past few months this was one person I really wanted to hang out with and get to know. Plus we made tons of plans to hang out in the coming months. Like I said you don't meet that many people who are into crazy adventurous activities all the time. Especially ones you are attracted too..

 

Well all my friends bailed that one night so it was me and her and bunch of her friends hanging out. For whatever reason I just kept thinking why the hell was she hanging out with me.. Stupid but it was my mentality. But she dug me, we talked, danced, hung out all night and talked. But I got trashed cause I was stupid and I was really nervous I guess. I mean it was all her friends and her. I knew nobody. And I barely knew her.

 

 

Long story short, she wasn't that happy I got trashed, and in the process I told her I was getting divorced, blah blah. Her cousin and friend didn't like me that much cause I was married and getting divorced, so I figured that was that.. Wrong place at the wrong time... However for whatever reason she continues to talk to me. She has kept her distance though, but we still talk or chat at least a couple times a week. We even sort of hung out one night, not really on a date, but just to hang out with a bunch of others. Once in a while her and I do similar activities and she gets a hold of me saying we might bump into one another that night. We haven't yet cause either I get to the place too late or too early and vice versa.. It's not like we make 'dates' or anything but sometimes it does seem like she wants to bump into me and gets in touch with me...Who knows...

 

The reality is I'm still not really in a good mindset to be in any relationship now. I'm out having fun for the first time as a single person in years, I'm going through tons of other issues because of the divorce and how things went down and plus i have to figure out my life I guess. I'm not sure why she still talks to me or wants to 'bump' into me sometimes. I mean even though we talk or chat now and again we dont' hang out and we barely know one another. So the whole be friends thing is interesting except we really aren't friends at this point. I think she's an amazing person from what I know but I'm also not in the right mindset to be dating anybody. I'm not sure what she actually thinks of me at this point and in all honesty not sure why she's really still talking and chatting with me and sometimes wanting to bump into me... I figured after that one night she would have bailed. Who knows. Maybe we just met at the wrong place and wrong time.

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"I think she's an amazing person from what I know but I'm also not in the right mindset to be dating anybody"

 

You should tell her this. I would really appreciate it if a guy were this upfront with me

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I agree with the Citizen67. Being that upfront and honest is the best thing. I'd know I'd appreciate it too if a girl told me that. She should hopefully understand and give you some time to let the dust settle in your life.

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