Kevio Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I posted before and have another question. I have been dating this man almost a year and we live four hours apart. I suspected that he was dating someone else because of little things he was doing or saying but he denied it. I still cant seem to shake the feeling and now I find myself probing and asking a lot of questions that I would not have normally asked. He will text me before he is going someplace such as out to eat, to his parents, to a meeting, etc rather than call me. Maybe this is o.k. but because I have been suspicious, I am interpreting it negatively, Today, I was supposed to call him at a certain time and 20 minutes before, he texted me and said he was heading to a meeting. Why didnt he just call me...especially since he was in his car. He always says how he loves hearing my voice! I interpret it as "he was going to lunch with someone and didnt want me calling him while he was with this person." I asked him about it and asked why he didnt call since I was supposed to call him around that time and he had no answer. When I pushed it, he said he texted me to let me know what he was doing and thought if I had called and he didnt answer the phone, I would wonder why. But, why didnt he just call me in the first place. This has happened many times and I always interpret it as he is setting the stage by touching base with me beforehand and thinking I would not call him now. Again, am I paranoid? Am I talking crazy? Should I keep asking all the questions? We both know what I am doing and it will eventually hurt this relationship? Would you think the same way? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 YOu are four hours away and letting him know that he has the power to determine your moods and reactions. Get a Life!!! Get out, go to the gym, find a hobby and just do something to take care of yourself. Please leave him alone with all this nonsense. This kind of behavior pushes a man away faster than anything. I bet if you stop responding to his texts when he expects you to he will start calling. No man wants a woman that is always available. If I were you, I would get busy creating my own fabulous life instead of worrying about what he is doing. He is hours away and you have no power over him at all. Stop asking him why!!! It doesn't matter. Let me know how he responds once you stop being so predictable with all the questions. Never ask a man what he is doing. always ask how he is doing and that way he doesn't feel obligated to tell you his every move. No one should have to do that since you are still an individual with your own life. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kevio Posted March 31, 2009 Author Share Posted March 31, 2009 You are so right. I feel like you just knocked some sense into my head. I do have a life and I have much better things to do with myself than trying to figure out what someone else may or may not be doing. I only have power over myself and I know that. Thanks for the swat! I may need it again sometime though! Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 It is so easy to lose focus when we get in a relationship. Just stay focused on creating the life you want and if it is meant for him to be a part of it he will. Also, if he is seeing someone, there is absolutely nothing you can do to prove it or change it. Why not date someone closer to you that can meet your needs. I could never do a long distance relationship and my hat is off to people who can. I need strong arms to hold me that can get to me in less than an hour:rolleyes: Stay Focused on the Prize and that is YOU!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 If he texted you and said that he was in the car right then on his way to a meeting, why didn't you just call him right away? And you have to schedule the times you call after a year of dating? Don't you just call at random, and leave a VM if he doesn't answer? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kevio Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 The night before, I had told him that I would call him the following day on my way to the office and he knew I did not have to be there until 12:00. I am a night owl and a late sleeper and will call him when I am up and about rather than him call me in the morning and wake me up and yes, I was up before 10:30! I was still at home when he texted me around 20 till 12:00 stating he was heading to a meeting downtown. I didnt see his message until around 12:00 when I grabbed my phone and headed to my car. I live very close to my office! I didnt call him then because he would have been at his "meeting" and he would not have answered his phone. There was no reason why he couldnt have called rather than texted. He had 20 minutes and had been expecting me to call him around that time anyway. But, I am over now...I hope! Although I still think lots of things add up to suspicious behavior, I cannot prove it and he denies it and I dont have the time to worry about it. Like sugarmomma stated, if he is seeing someone and finds that she is a better match then that will be that. It is out of my hands! I do like this website because sometimes I just need verification or a stiff kick up side the head! Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Do you usually reply right away to his texrs? If so, I would stop and give him some time to wonder what's going on. I know its sad to have to play games but sometimes when you have someone like this guy you have to play along with him. I hope this works out for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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