Interview is Tomorrow

[snowball]

Dear Island Girl

 

I hope you didn't take that long sleeved shirt thing as an insult I just didn't understand untill you told us.

 

By the way I kinda had to chuckle when you mentioned about his family being from NZ.

 

My husband is from NZ as well,

South Island

 

I'm in Canada

[Island Girl]

Dear Island Girl

 

I hope you didn't take that long sleeved shirt thing as an insult I just didn't understand untill you told us.

 

By the way I kinda had to chuckle when you mentioned about his family being from NZ.

 

My husband is from NZ as well,

South Island

 

I'm in Canada

 

 

Thank you snowball.

 

It stung the way RP put it -

"you married someone who couldn't afford a shirt?"

 

But, then again, I would be with him broke as a church mouse or rich as a king, it wouldn't matter to me.

 

I guess there are people who do not understand that kind of love.

 

 

Well, if your hubby is a Kiwi then I am sure he has heard of the Brumbies.

My husband played professional rugby for them for a few years.

 

 

Glad to hear immigration went well for the two of you.

 

We will be fine - he passed the interview and all paperwork was accepted.

They want new copies of some things but that will get done.

And so it is a last step and then waiting.

 

But he is worth the wait - we are worth the wait.

 

Thanks for the post.

It made me feel better after reading it.

[snowball]

I was just also kinda wondering Island Girl why you didn't do the whole immigration process in the States together.

When my husband came here......total weather shock for him for sure lol

he just stayed until all that immigration stuff was done.

 

It took about 3 years in total

All that paper work is just so dumb, it really make's no sense at all, but you still have to do it.

 

Actually the day my mom died, we came home from the hospital and there was a letter in the mail saying that he didn't extend his visa and that he had to leave the country......talk about a double whammy.

It turned out that it was someone else (reference # was wrong on the paper) that was the reason I was worried about your husband not extending his visa.

 

They go back years and years and look for everything,

 

I also found it kind of funny going to the immigration office, when you looked around the office 90% of the people who work and do the interview are immigrants themselves.

 

The interview that we had (yes they do seperate you ) was actually fun it was more like going down memory lane, talking about how you met...and all that other kind of stuff.

 

I know what kind of love you speak about Island Girl

 

Wishing you and your husband all the best.

 

Sandra

[Island Girl]

I was just also kinda wondering Island Girl why you didn't do the whole immigration process in the States together.

When my husband came here......total weather shock for him for sure lol

he just stayed until all that immigration stuff was done.

 

He left before we hadn't decided to get married. It had been discussed but not settled.

 

He went back thinking he could come back. I had told him I didn't think that was the case.

And I was right.

 

After that my stance was we'd see if we were still just as strong long distance. Then if we could make it through that - well, marriage was certainly an eventuality.

 

We were married three years after he left.

This July will be our three year anniversary.

 

 

It took about 3 years in total

All that paper work is just so dumb, it really make's no sense at all, but you still have to do it.

 

Because of a bunch of crap (on another thread in the LDR forum "OMG finally and now we may have to postpone") the filing was delayed so now it has been almost two years in the process.

 

It all just sucks.

 

Actually the day my mom died, we came home from the hospital and there was a letter in the mail saying that he didn't extend his visa and that he had to leave the country......talk about a double whammy.

 

Double whammy indeed. I can't even imagine how stressful and horrible that must have been.

 

It turned out that it was someone else (reference # was wrong on the paper) that was the reason I was worried about your husband not extending his visa.

 

We had to file a waiver for the overstay on his visa.

 

Online there are tons of terrible immigration stories.

 

One lady went to the embassy for her interview (and they have record of it) but the embassy misplaced the entire file. They know they had it all because that is when you get an interview but they made her recreate the entire flipping file. Of course it was the embassy's mistake.

 

They go back years and years and look for everything,

 

I also found it kind of funny going to the immigration office, when you looked around the office 90% of the people who work and do the interview are immigrants themselves.

 

Yes I know. We already know about full disclosure - they know it all anyway.

 

The interview that we had (yes they do seperate you ) was actually fun it was more like going down memory lane, talking about how you met...and all that other kind of stuff.

 

Because he is coming from there, and I am here, we didn't have a joint interview.

They just interviewed him. He said they didn't ask much about me or us (I suppose they have quite enough information in the file - we are kind of an unusual case that way) but they asked a lot about his plans here and how many times we talk, etc.

 

I am just glad that is all over with.

 

I know what kind of love you speak about Island Girl

 

Wishing you and your husband all the best.

 

Sandra

 

Thank you snowball .

 

Not many people have the kind of love we do.

Most can't understand what they have never known.

Clearly you are acquainted with it too.

 

My best to you and yours too.

 

Thank you for your kind words and for relating to my situation.

[Els]

IG

 

How are you doing?

 

Just putting in my well wishes for you today, God only knows those of us here need as much as we can get.

 

Just curious (because I'm considering moving to Aussie/NZ after grad), asides from your family in the USA, were there any other reasons why you would not both move to Aussie/NZ? Since there are decent jobs and a decent economy there.

[Island Girl]

IG

 

How are you doing?

 

Just putting in my well wishes for you today, God only knows those of us here need as much as we can get.

 

Just curious (because I'm considering moving to Aussie/NZ after grad), asides from your family in the USA, were there any other reasons why you would not both move to Aussie/NZ? Since there are decent jobs and a decent economy there.

 

Hi Elswyth.

 

I am doing fine. Much better than I would have thought and I think that has to do with the interview finally being done.

It was weighing very heavily on me the last 2+ years and now that it is over - well, the rest is nothing but time.

And I can do the time.

 

About AU/NZ - I have been actually looking at the economy, etc. in NZ. I wouldn't mind living there.

But it would have to be in the future.

 

My mother is 75. She is the only parent I have ever known and we are very close in most ways.

I would live with too much guilt if I moved to another country and didn't spend as much time as I can with her in these years.

Anything can happen as we all know.

 

This process was always supposed to be much faster than it has been.

 

And now that we are looking at the end being here in at most a year, well, that doesn't seem like much to me.

To him - it is extreme again. But we must just take it day by day.

 

The thought is perhaps to consider moving to NZ at a later time.

My husband is up for anything as long as we are together.

 

So really it is me - and the closeness to my family that ties me here and ties us to this terrible US process.

[RecordProducer]

As to the comment that he married me for my passport -

No. He didn't.

 

Do I know this for sure?

Yes I do.

OK, that's good. Well, be patient and he;ll join you in no time.

DID YOU MARRY YOUR HUSBAND FOR HIS US PASSPORT?

 

Apparently I didn't or you would've never heard of him if that were the case. I suffered so much because he doesn't love me; I wish I never loved him.

[Els]

Hi Elswyth.

 

I am doing fine. Much better than I would have thought and I think that has to do with the interview finally being done.

 

Glad to hear that!

 

My mother is 75. She is the only parent I have ever known and we are very close in most ways.

I would live with too much guilt if I moved to another country and didn't spend as much time as I can with her in these years.

Anything can happen as we all know.

 

Wow, what a sacrifice to make. I really admire you for that, IG.

 

In my case, I would have to leave my parents as well if I am to go to him in the future. I am their only child... but I'm not close to them at all emotionally, it's more of a duty thing, since they brought me up. That's one of the many dilemmas that I'm facing.

[Island Girl]

Apparently I didn't or you would've never heard of him if that were the case. I suffered so much because he doesn't love me; I wish I never loved him.

 

I am sorry RP.

 

You had touched a nerve with that remark.

So many people implying that my relationship is a lie and that I am being used.

Even though I know it isn't true - it sucks to be put in a position where either you care thought to be crazy or you must defend the primary relationship in your life.

 

I know you have suffered with relationship troubles.

It has to be difficult.

 

But there is too much about you that is attractive - and not just your appearance although you are quite beautiful.

 

I think maybe you need to develop more friendships to keep you out and about. That way you can focus on yourself but not in an unhealthy shut in environment - you can explore new things about yourself.

 

Take a couple classes at a local University or Community College -- just fun stuff - maybe go up in a Hot Air Balloon -- just do things for yourself that you have always wanted to do.

 

The third time can be the charm. And you have too much to give to a relationship not to have love in your life.

You just need to find that man that is going to appreciate all of it.

[LonelyTiger]

Island Girl I have just updated myself on this post and I wanted to offer you my support.

 

I haven't been on Loveshack long but you already stand out for me as somebody very special - and very genuine.

 

The love you share with your husband is also very special and very genuine . I don't understand how anybody could doubt it.

 

What you two have is so rare - when you find someone who becomes a part of you, you have to hang on to them, no matter what (and no matter where they are). I totally understand that because I am lucky enough to have found the same kind of love.

 

I am completely in awe of your emotional strength.

 

You are truly an inspiration.

 

I know why you are waiting for this wonderful man - I hope, with all my heart, that you don't have to wait too much longer.

[Island Girl]

Island Girl I have just updated myself on this post and I wanted to offer you my support.

 

I haven't been on Loveshack long but you already stand out for me as somebody very special - and very genuine.

 

The love you share with your husband is also very special and very genuine . I don't understand how anybody could doubt it.

 

What you two have is so rare - when you find someone who becomes a part of you, you have to hang on to them, no matter what (and no matter where they are). I totally understand that because I am lucky enough to have found the same kind of love.

 

I am completely in awe of your emotional strength.

 

You are truly an inspiration.

 

I know why you are waiting for this wonderful man - I hope, with all my heart, that you don't have to wait too much longer.

 

Thank you for all of those lovely things that you said!

 

I know you get it LonelyTiger.

 

But it is true you have to have it to understand it.

 

So many have never had it and have never seen it.

 

You don't know how many of my married friends say they could never go through what I have and would never do it. And I ask them, "even if it was your husband?" and they say no.

I just think that is sad.

 

For better and worse IS one of the vows. And there is no other addendum.

 

I appreciate your message more than you know.

 

It is hard but I really have no choice in the matter.

I have to endure and keep up the effort.

The other choice is to not have him in my life and that is unbearable.

 

Thank you again for being so gracious here.

 

I hope the time speeds by until your husband is back in your arms again.

[LonelyTiger]

So many have never had it and have never seen it.

 

You don't know how many of my married friends say they could never go through what I have and would never do it. And I ask them, "even if it was your husband?" and they say no.

I just think that is sad.

 

For better and worse IS one of the vows. And there is no other addendum.

 

I agree IG it is very, very sad - when you truly love someone it isn't a question of choice.

 

When my husband and I went through the very worst times many of my friends asked why we were still bothering to work at it !!!???

 

Because he is my life and I am his - and being thousands of miles apart doesn't change that - I know you two feel the same.

 

It is hard but I really have no choice in the matter.

I have to endure and keep up the effort.

The other choice is to not have him in my life and that is unbearable.

 

I totally empathise - stay strong - you are so close now.

 

I hope the time speeds by until your husband is back in your arms again.

 

Thank you IG.