monkey00 Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 DUDE!! I feel you brotha!! haha I'm 19 and in a very similar situation as you man. I've known this girl since last semester! I just recently became close friends with her only recently since we ended up in the same schedule for a class this semester..(who would've known..) She's probably 20 or 21, she said little older than me, though hesitant to answer ( maybe feeling that I might view her differently if i knew her real age). I hung out with her friends just a few days ago. Only recently about a week ago, i started feeling different and notice myself changing. Such as my regular daily routine is changing, and I dont care about those routines anymore. I'm slowl losing interest in my usual routines.. PLUS i feel like trying new stuff out and doing something different for myself out of my usual norm. I still act the same way around her, but I as a person feel different. Just as you said, my lust an urges of anyone seemed to have disappeared. I'm very comfortable around her and she probably feels the same, I enjoy her company. I as you, am not sure how to explain how I feel towards her. I notice that I'm always nice to her and compliment her regularly, including a some flirts every now and then. We are in the same field of study GA&AD, PLUS we have lots of things in common in addition to several opposites in common (ex: I have thick hair and grows like weed, she grows hair very slowly but doesnt have a lot)(She likes to draw from still life, and I prefer to draw from imagination). The only time we call each other is about either school related, or hang out. Normally she is the one that calls me and i dont call her, i never really have in the past. When we're together in person around anyone, we talk about anything. I dont view her in an attractive way, yet I like to be around her. I think she is cute also, and the thought of humping her, as wolverine said, has never come to my mind. -Can anyone tell me what this is that i'm feeling?? -Also I want to get to know her even better, but how would I approach that using the phone w/o seeming like i have a purposeful intention??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author monkey00 Posted October 13, 2003 Author Share Posted October 13, 2003 about the flirts...It usually happens instinctively when she brings up something about her physical features, i like to compliment her a lot. She doesnt do it too much to me, only on occasion Link to post Share on other sites
VASH THE STAMPEDE Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 You have a crush on her or a strong friend relationship.Is hard to tell. Theres no way that I know of on how to approach he with out being purposeful. The only way I know is to be straight forward and tell her or ask or whatever. It's probably best so you don't look cowardly like. Link to post Share on other sites
Author monkey00 Posted October 13, 2003 Author Share Posted October 13, 2003 Thanks Vash, but I was hoping someone could give me more detailed help on how I feel and what i should do. Before I started feeling changes in myself..only about a week ago, I am able to check out any cutie that passes me by. But recently it just seems like it doesnt matter anymore and I will consider one of the girls that passes me by as no one. I sometimes find myself ocassionally thinking of her..and because of these I think I might be beginning to like her. Any opinions, sugggestions, advice is greatly appreciated!! Link to post Share on other sites
Nazima Posted October 16, 2003 Share Posted October 16, 2003 You say that you don't check out the girls that pass by like you used to and that you're more interested in trying things outside of your routine. Plus you find this girl you've become close friends with comfortable to be around, and that you have many interests that are the same, including your choice of schooling, but at the same time you haven't though about her in a sexual way. It seems to me that you've found someone who can stimulate you on an intellectual level, and that's what's attracting you. I think it just shows that you are maturing to the point where you can truly appreciate someone for who they are, not just what they look like. Good for you! If you want to spend more time with this girl, just be honest, and be yourself. Tell how much you appreciate her for who she is, that you're glad to have a friend like her who shares your interests, that you enjoy your conversations together. Tell her that you enjoy spending time with her, and you would be interested in spending more time together (if that's what you want) if she's interested. Just take it easy, and enjoy your friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author monkey00 Posted October 16, 2003 Author Share Posted October 16, 2003 Thanks for the advice nazima, I would like to go straight out and tell her all that. But it's hard for me because I don't know what she thinks of me right now. I feel that I sometimes am a predictable person. I try to be unpredictable sometimes. She is very busy with either school or work(everyday of the week), so it's hard for us to really hangout . I don't know if I should call her out of the blue and tell her all that stuff at once. I'll probably try to bring up one by one in parts of our conversations. I know from fact that she likes to have conversations w/me, our first time eating out together she said something about me keeping eye contact w/her when she talks and normally her friends don't do that. (yes she likes to talk a lot, which i can see why they will look away, showing disinterest) but even if I tell her how i feel, it wont mean that anything will change. She may not be interested in pursuing this closer friendship, I feel vibes from her sometimes that make me feel that way. One time I asked if she wanted to hang out w/me and my friends for billiards, she wasn't interested( this was before she got a job) Very often she hangs out w/her friends, which she met through her 24 yr old cousin, which is also her friends also. They call her often, and since they have a car, i'm sure they all hang out a lot. My main point IS that i don't think she wants 1on1 friendship with me. As she feels secure being in the tight bond group friendship that she has with her cousin's friends around 24 or 25 age group. don't forget I'm 19! Found out my friend is 20! I went out once to a pub last week w/ all of them, I know they are not interested in getting to know me because they feel the need not to. I tried to talk to them to start conversations, but they don't seem to care. So I just quit while I was ahead. This group of friends is a weird bunch, her cousin + bf , her ex-bf(likes to act tough), 1 girl. Now you can see why it's hard for me to communicate w/them. Link to post Share on other sites
Nazima Posted October 16, 2003 Share Posted October 16, 2003 You mentioned in your first post that you and this girl have a class together. Perhaps you could suggest studying together over coffee or something like that without giving her the impression that you want to be anything more than friends. From what you just said, that may scare her off. If she agrees to study with you, especially if you go somewhere where there are other people around, that would be a fairly nonthreatening situation, plus give you the chance to get to know her better one-on-one. Just a suggestion. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author monkey00 Posted October 17, 2003 Author Share Posted October 17, 2003 thanks for the reply again nazima. i've been starting to try that this week, after the class we have together ends, we both ahve a gap and later have a separate class 2 hours later. Normally she goes to the library to do hw, study..and this time i went also. normally I would go my separate way and do something else. she went to the comp room, i stopped workin on my hw to go w/her, she went to the lunchroom to discuss a group project w/her classmates. I went, also. From doing this once so far, I don't feel I should give her the impression that I'm being clingy to her and cant make my own decisions. I think next week I will do the same, go to library to do hw w/her. but if she decides to go anywhere else before the next class, i'll just cont' to do my own thing and let her do her own, while giving her space to breathe. Do you think I'm making a good decision in the last part? Link to post Share on other sites
Nazima Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 I think that's a very good idea. You certainly don't want to give her the impression that you're following her around everywhere, that just might make her nervous. That will help to maintain a good balance between the time you do try to spend with her and give her some space, and she won't think you've suddenly become clingy or needy, or turned into a stalker or worse. Just be friendly and open, and let her get to know you better. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author monkey00 Posted October 18, 2003 Author Share Posted October 18, 2003 Yep thanks for the reply again nazima, i'll try my best to become even better friends with her Link to post Share on other sites
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