ForumFool Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 I think by summer I may if things fall correctly I will be out of here....This is my old thread should you not know my story http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t179888/ I have a place to stay.....my dog is welcome and my dog gets alone with the other party and the dog....BUT my husband that wacky dude that told women on sex sites trying to hook up for an affair....that I would have his knees broken if he left me no kidding ...I still read all his emails in that secret account and lol my head off and some of these women believed him . Most were looking for cash.....anyhow back to topic I TOLD him I am leaving....he knows I went with dog to check out the place I may move short term......He has been with me when I have told people I am not going to be here in June thus I can't make so and so's graduation and yet...he is by my side 24/7 talks about putting in a new walkway to the house asking me to pick out the patio squares, his mom's garage sale and what we will take (June /July date) and so on... I am living here till things are set like I hope foreclosure hits and options are gone As I live here I don't choose to argue and be nasty as the stress isn't good for me ...and his stunts do not hurt me all in all...sure it hurts to have someone piss money away and lie to you but no huge loss to me..for that see old thread.... How do you make it clear to someone you really are leaving? Or do you just wait till the door burn clues them in??? I feel being I TOLD him and have said so publically..that he should know....GULP sometimes I fear he thinks he will be moving with me..help Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Have you started divorce proceedings? Have you served a petition on him? What have you done to take steps (other than to say it in words) actions actions actions. What about your house? Do you own it together? Are you making a financial settlement or taking steps to do so? You dont want forclosure if you own half the house as it will impact your credit too (unless you have already looked into this and there are no other options). Does he know you know about his secret accounts? If all this has ben done and he still doesnt believe it, he may notice when the door burn hits him, but that is his problem not yours as long as you are taking steps to protect yourself legally and financially. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Great advice from JJ. I'd also add that the words you do use need to have a DEFINITE ring of finality to them. They need to be point blank. Men don't take hints, they don't "work up to a concept" in their communications. Tell him point blank...we are over. I am moving out as soon as I get the place finalized. I am filing for divorce. You are not moving in with me in any fashion...this is the end of our marriage. And let your actions show him that the words are true. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ForumFool Posted April 2, 2009 Author Share Posted April 2, 2009 Hey JJ and Owl thanks for the helpful replies ...I did tell him when he was busted that that was IT I was going to file for a divorce and that till then we could be room mates ...After 15 years I would THINK he would know I do not say things I do not mean....then I went and we checked out my cousins place and tested the dogs......I do co-own the house with him and we are 4 months behind. My credit is ruined anyhow so I do not care if I lose the place. We have a lot of major repairs (see old thread) that and the market ..well the house is worth wayyy less than we owe...Right now it is to my advantage to stay because I do not qualify for aid of any kind due to his Unemployment and his early retirement Once I DO move I would qualify for aid of some sort....I have been socking money away (cash) for a storage place and also odd and ends that aid would not help with..Also I have to be sure my cousin would not be messed up if I get aid using that address...I just want out ya know...? Peace of mind and all.... So I am working on things here till I can move up there and have even packed some things like collector plates and such for storage...surely he can see this and heard me....YET IN MANY WAYS he doesnt seem to act like it......I have sold almost every piece of jewelry he has gotten for me.....he has seen me do this and the money always is.....I have taken my pets to the vet ....so many things setting it all in motion ..... Ugh I don't want to fight and argue I just want it all to go away.....I think that is in part why I want them to take the house So do you think he won't really get it ..until he is served papers? Link to post Share on other sites
Athena Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 hi Ff, yeah, I really don't think he'll get it unless served with divorce papers since he even accompanied you to your cousins place... and if you guys do lose your house (I hope you don't) then he must be assuming you are now lining up a place for the two of you to go live!! Oh man.... You might want to have a heart-to-heart talk with him? He seems to be kinda passive, so that is why you need to tell him you are moving out on your own, and that he should start looking for somewhere for himself, since if the house is taken away, he will need to have a place lined up! Sorry you are having to deal with all of this. But it does sound like you are trying to improve your life! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ForumFool Posted April 2, 2009 Author Share Posted April 2, 2009 Hey Althena thanks for coming over here..see I don't just talk the talk I walk the walk too.. Thanks all btw for bearing with my lack of typing skills...typos like crazy and I am too lazy to correct them...YES he is passive in many ways...I have more than once made mention of his moving to his mom and dad's when we lose the house ....but you may be right he may stay in lala land till those papers hit his hands.....that won't happen for a while....as I am solely looking out for my best intrest.....the only 2 parts I know on that would be to rid of him once I am semi set up for medical....then bang...adios mo-fo Link to post Share on other sites
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