What happens when your 20 year old is now 30?

[peteyj]

I think it also depends on where somebody is at in their lives. My cousin is only a few years older than I but she has 3 teenage kids. Heck her son in his twenties. While at the same time I don't have any kids yet. So if I met somebody like her I highly doubt I'd really become interested. While there is nothing wrong with me finding a 30 something year old woman with kids, I highly doubt we'd be at the same point in our lives even if we were the same age. My cousin and I, while we still are friends and share common family bonds, are at different stages in our lives.

 

And I don't think it's a one sided argument. The reality I've found is many people in the US as they get older, men and women, are lazy. They get fat. They become overweight. They work too much or too little and eat unhealthy. They watch too much TV and don't exercise enough. Older guys get away with dating younger woman most of the time because of money or fatherly issues. There aren't that many 45 year old men working for minimum wage who are overweight and not that attractive who can date a hot 23 year old. But a 45 year old executive with a nice car and some money probably can.

 

For me I'd date a 35 year old or a 25 year old or even a 45 year old, but what I've discovered in my few months of meeting people is that most of the people my own age are out of shape. And it's both men and women. And for me that is a turn off and it's pointless. If somebody my own age would rather sit at home or just go chill at a restaurant while I like to climb mountains, go sky diving, run 26 miles, swim 10 miles, bike 200 miles, sail, dive, do this and that it will never work out. I eat healthy, i stay healthy I'm very active. The only other active people I meet around the same age as me are either already in a relationship or they aren't looking to be in one. The rest of the people I meet would rather spend their weekends relaxing at home. I'm sorry but I might not be in my twenties anymore but I sure as heck have no desire to just chill at home.

 

So it's not really about men and women. The reason I have talked to mostly 23 and 24 year olds is that most of the people my own age are out of shape, have no desire to do anything similar that I'd like to do or if they do they'd quit after a week. And I'm not just talking about dating. I'm talking about dating as well as making new friends who are women and men. Most of the people my age and older, in the US at least, are very inactive. And when you are an active person that just isn't going to work. And yeah not all young people are active..not even close anymore. But it's far easier to find somebody who is 23 years old and active than it is to find somebody who is 33 years old and can keep up.

[lino]

Very well said peteyj.

[Isolde]

I think it also depends on where somebody is at in their lives. My cousin is only a few years older than I but she has 3 teenage kids. Heck her son in his twenties. While at the same time I don't have any kids yet. So if I met somebody like her I highly doubt I'd really become interested. While there is nothing wrong with me finding a 30 something year old woman with kids, I highly doubt we'd be at the same point in our lives even if we were the same age. My cousin and I, while we still are friends and share common family bonds, are at different stages in our lives.

 

And I don't think it's a one sided argument. The reality I've found is many people in the US as they get older, men and women, are lazy. They get fat. They become overweight. They work too much or too little and eat unhealthy. They watch too much TV and don't exercise enough. Older guys get away with dating younger woman most of the time because of money or fatherly issues. There aren't that many 45 year old men working for minimum wage who are overweight and not that attractive who can date a hot 23 year old. But a 45 year old executive with a nice car and some money probably can.

 

For me I'd date a 35 year old or a 25 year old or even a 45 year old, but what I've discovered in my few months of meeting people is that most of the people my own age are out of shape. And it's both men and women. And for me that is a turn off and it's pointless. If somebody my own age would rather sit at home or just go chill at a restaurant while I like to climb mountains, go sky diving, run 26 miles, swim 10 miles, bike 200 miles, sail, dive, do this and that it will never work out. I eat healthy, i stay healthy I'm very active. The only other active people I meet around the same age as me are either already in a relationship or they aren't looking to be in one. The rest of the people I meet would rather spend their weekends relaxing at home. I'm sorry but I might not be in my twenties anymore but I sure as heck have no desire to just chill at home.

 

So it's not really about men and women. The reason I have talked to mostly 23 and 24 year olds is that most of the people my own age are out of shape, have no desire to do anything similar that I'd like to do or if they do they'd quit after a week. And I'm not just talking about dating. I'm talking about dating as well as making new friends who are women and men. Most of the people my age and older, in the US at least, are very inactive. And when you are an active person that just isn't going to work. And yeah not all young people are active..not even close anymore. But it's far easier to find somebody who is 23 years old and active than it is to find somebody who is 33 years old and can keep up.

 

It really seems to be a class thing. Richer people in their thirties through fifties are much, much thinner than rural or poorer people at that age, due to resources, better diets, etc. Sad but true.

 

That aside, one certainly doesn't have to run marathons to be in shape. I'm not a fan of either extreme exercise OR idling around.

[Jersey Shortie]

I just shoot them in the head. Their usefulness is over, and it's kinder to them really.

 

For someone that seems pretty serious about treatment of men, you sure don't want to consider women's treatment or issues seriously.

 

 

Meagan

 

I really like how you write. you said everything so eloquently!

 

Thank you Meagan.

 

 

 

I really think you're blowing this out of proportion. If somebody is telling you all of that then by all means leave them so you can find somebody who appreciates you. Nobody is excluding either gender out of this question, why do you always assume a male poster is giving the male gender an upper hand through gender bias? You're pretty jaded when it comes to guys, why? What has happened to you that you can't accept the fact that there are decent guys out there?

 

If you don't agree with me that's fine. But don't attack me on a personal level by basically telling me I'm "silly". All because you don't like what I have to say. Instead try discussing the topic.

 

Often it does seem like a few male posters here are giving the male gender an upper hand through gender bias.

 

Bye the way, you seem rather jaded yourself.

[mental_traveller]

If celebrities and the rich are anything to go by, generally this sort of man will trade in the woman once she reaches 40 and then replace her with a 20something.

[Jersey Shortie]

So again, women are replacable. We get it. Thanks. Men are great and wonderful and always getting better and women are just getting worse and declining.

[MN randomguy]

MeaganRaye,

 

I've read your profile that says you're 22.

 

So, I'm a 29 y/o male. I'm going to tell you this. It is a great lesson and there are a LOT of guys like me out there.

 

A 22 y/o would be wonderful for me. A 30 y/o not so much. Is it all that 30 y/os are hideous and that I wouldn't ever date one? No,

 

PLEEEASE!! put your emotions down. Follow reason. Ideally, you'll be done having kids by 35. I understand that so-and-so worthless celebrity was 46 and had twins. Either donor eggs, gobs of fertility drugs or luck. I understand it happens, but its not a great plan.

 

So, how many kids do you want? Lets say 2. second before your 35th birthday, impregnated when you're 34(9 month human gestation is almost a year). 2 years between kids, 32 at age of first pregnancy.

 

Want to be married a little w/o kids so that there is a relationship with each other outside of being parents? Say, 2 years? OK Married at 30.

 

know your husband at least a year before the wedding day to know he's the right one? start dating at 29.

 

Want any more kids than 2? drop all of these ages by 2 years per child.

 

 

 

Sometimes by the time you reach 25, some guys think you're already disposable and start chasing after 16-20 year olds. It can happen long before you're 30. You ever see the guys in their mid 20s parked outside the high school scoping for teenagers?

 

 

Guys in their mid-twenties picking up high school girls? Yep, they're called sexual predators. Do you want to date these guys?

 

 

You've got a golden opportunity being 22. The women on this board who are in their 30s and older should be telling you this. You're in the driver's seat. Find a guy with excellent character and that you view as husband material. Don't judge guys on charisma or what will give you status with your friends. Now is your time to use that youth to snag a decent guy who will bring you flowers and care for you when you're in the nursing home. Don't chase drama or drugs.

 

If celebrities and the rich are anything to go by, generally this sort of man will trade in the woman once she reaches 40 and then replace her with a 20something.

 

Celebrities are utterly worthless as role models. More so worthless as romantic relationship role models. I think there will be no more need for loveshack when Holly Weird falls into the ocean.

 

 

And I don't get why so many people on this board equate 30+ with being useless and unattractive? Look at the celebrities getting attention over the younger girls. Angelina Jolie. Jennifer Aniston. Eva Longoria. Demi Moore. No one is calling them ugly...far from it!

 

See my other comment about celebrities.

 

The answer is simple. If a man thinks that way about you...DON'T DATE HIM! GET AWAY FROM HIM AS FAST AS POSSIBLE! Don't let anybody tell you how much value you have...especially over something as STUPID as your age! C'mon! Find a man smart enough to see through that bull****! I don't understand what the problem is. And besides, not EVERY man thinks like that anyways!

 

Its not about how much value you have as a person. I think some women are too wrapped up in seeking validation from men.

 

OP,

 

This is a mess. You don't want to still be dating in your 30s. Just find a great guy your age (or slightly older) and not worry about all of these issues involved in dating in your 30s or 40s. Its not as much fun as Sarah Jessica Parker makes it out to be.

 

 

Again, guy's age divided by two add seven equals minimum gae of the woman.

 

OP, good luck with marriage material 22 - 30 y/o men.

[clv0116]

You've got a golden opportunity being 22. The women on this board who are in their 30s and older should be telling you this. You're in the driver's seat. Find a guy with excellent character and that you view as husband material. Don't judge guys on charisma or what will give you status with your friends. Now is your time to use that youth to snag a decent guy who will bring you flowers and care for you when you're in the nursing home. Don't chase drama or drugs.

 

I said that a while back, but not as well as you. Hope you get a better response.

[MN randomguy]

I said that a while back, but not as well as you. Hope you get a better response.

 

 

Thanks,

 

I think I've been on LS for so long that I'm figuring out how to talk to women.

[D-Lish]

Seriously- if a 40 year old man marries a 20 year old woman.... he's still going to find her attractive when he's 60 and she's 40.

 

60 year old men that like younger women WILL go after 40 year old women. But they will still jack off to 20 year olds. Who wouldn't?

 

The bottom line is that life is cruel. When you reach your physical peak- your mind and ego have a long way to go before catching up. This is true for both men and women. Men and women both have the capacity to age well or not so well....

 

At 22, what you have is beauty and an open book to write your life on.

Why are you worried about stuff like this when you're so young?

 

You're NOT in the driver's seat in terms of having all your ducks in a row, in terms of developing the kind of wisdom that comes with getting older (via experience)... however, when it comes to sex- you are so in the driver's seat.

 

And I do think life is cruel, because by the time you develop that inner peace and confidence and wisdom.... UH-oh... you're 30.

 

I regularly get messages from guys on POF, and when I look at their profile, they are 37(ish).... yet they have set their mail settings to limit girls that can message them 18-29. Yet, guys often lament on LS that women make height restrictions.

 

But, most of the guys are right here- why worry about an age issue when you are still so young. ??

[Jersey Shortie]

So, I'm a 29 y/o male. I'm going to tell you this. It is a great lesson and there are a LOT of guys like me out there.

 

What lesson? Honestly, in reality, your whole post isn't about looking out for women or their best interests. It's about looking out for your own and what you want women to conform to and follow suit you. Relationships are about partnership. Not forcing one gender to conform to your views because your bitter about the other gender. How do I know you're bitter? You make some stupid Sex and the City reference. You clearly think women are incapable of living their lives seperate of tv and the choices they make are dependent on what tv told them to do it. Are your choices dependent on what the media tells men to do? Your opinion of women is even more obvious how little you really think of them and their intelligence.

 

 

PLEEEASE!! put your emotions down. Follow reason.

 

 

This is a really demeaning comment. Why don't you put your emotions down? I hate to tell you but your post is full of what you "feel". Funny how men like you deem your emotions more important and try to shame women about their emotions. I am sorry but your post isn't filled with tons of reason. It's your preferences. That doesn't equal reason.

 

 

Its not about how much value you have as a person. I think some women are too wrapped up in seeking validation from men.

 

Please. This isn't about seeking validation. It's about the mentality that men have about women that we "declind" and he only "gets better". Not one man here responded to the post I made asking questions about how you think women are suppose to feel about that. Good? Happy that men think so little of us? Happy that men give themselves a timeless window and give women a limited one because men obviously think they are more deserving of living life to the fullest while wome nare suppose to conform and limit their experiences right out of college.

 

By the way, men seek validation from women all the time. That's what sex is for alot of men. Validation that a woman wants him. Sure sex feels good but to ignore that component is full hardy. You feel validated as aman after having sex. You feel validated as a man when women gives you attention or compliments you as well.

 

You've got a golden opportunity being 22. The women on this board who are in their 30s and older should be telling you this. You're in the driver's seat. Find a guy with excellent character and that you view as husband material. Don't judge guys on charisma or what will give you status with your friends. Now is your time to use that youth to snag a decent guy who will bring you flowers and care for you when you're in the nursing home. Don't chase drama or drugs.

 

Men of excellent character don't try to shame women into making life choices at age 22 when you are clearly still learning and experiecing what life has to offer. Men of excellent character don't create rules that they apply for one gender that they don't think they have to live up to themselves. Decent men hold women in respect and regard.

 

The scenerio you played out is so sweet. How many men today sick with their wives that long anyway? About half. 50/50 chance of a man standing by your side until old age now-a-days. Trying to shame us women into settling down based on what you want from women with a fake fantasy that has nothing to do with real life is really atrocious. Please. Absolutly ridciulous.

 

 

I regularly get messages from guys on POF, and when I look at their profile, they are 37(ish).... yet they have set their mail settings to limit girls that can message them 18-29. Yet, guys often lament on LS that women make height restrictions.

 

And men don't have their own physical restrictions when it comes to women? Of course they do.

 

No matter what you do, if your a woman, you just can't win with men. Men think women get worse and men think they get better with time. So we deserve not to have the same things in life that apparently men think they are desreving of. How are you suppose to have a relationship with a gender that thinks that way about you?

[boxing123]

Women are their best in their 30's. The problem is they have few good years left. So if you find a young one, the best is yet to come, and you have many years of good sex with a nice firm body.

 

If you find one in their mid 30's they are on the downhill spiral.

[Jersey Shortie]

Boxing, no offense, but no matter your current age, you already seem to be on your own downward spiral.

 

But please, keep saying the nasty things about women you want. You certainly aren't ever going to find a good one and it will really be your own fault.

 

I actually think there are a few men here that are so embittered they would say anything to be demeaning to women and make it seem like they have the upper hand.

[The Collector]

For someone that seems pretty serious about treatment of men, you sure don't want to consider women's treatment or issues seriously.

 

Because this thread was a trap that no one fell into yet you still couldn't resist throwing in your pre-prepared disappointed victim response?

 

So again, women are replacable. We get it. Thanks. Men are great and wonderful and always getting better and women are just getting worse and declining.

 

And how is this a woman's issue? Women can date whoever they like, tall, rich, old, young, whatever. So can men. Nevertheless nobody here is saying they want a 20 year old, or are going to replace them when they hit 30. Plenty of men are saying they find all ages attractive. You obviously have a terrible fear of aging, and want to blame men for it. We're all going to get too old to be super-attractive one day. I can handle that. Just make the most of it while you can, or you'll regret it later.

[clv0116]

Nevertheless nobody here is saying they want a 20 year old, or are going to replace them when they hit 30.

 

Indeed, I see every man who addresses this concern saying the same thing, that they would love stick with whoever they are with for the long term. It falls on deaf ears, and I'm not sure why.

[OpenBook]

Indeed, I see every man who addresses this concern saying the same thing, that they would love stick with whoever they are with for the long term. It falls on deaf ears, and I'm not sure why.

 

One needs only to browse thru the Infidelity and OM/OW forums to find the answer to that particular question.

[boxing123]

The women who get "traded in" are usually the attractive older women who date younger men. For obvious reasons.

[clv0116]

One needs only to browse thru the Infidelity and OM/OW forums to find the answer to that particular question.

 

I'm not sure I see a clear line of reasoning here. Because some people cheat you assume I'm gonna trade in the mother of our children?

[soserious1]

The women who get "traded in" are usually the attractive older women who date younger men. For obvious reasons.

 

My Ex husband is 3 yrs my senior, he's now collecting hefty alimony from me and is living with a 33 yr old he met off craig's list.

 

The "trade in" of unwanted old wives is alive and thriving.

[pollywag]

My Ex husband is 3 yrs my senior, he's now collecting hefty alimony from me and is living with a 33 yr old he met off craig's list.

 

The "trade in" of unwanted old wives is alive and thriving.

 

 

Soserious!!! Why didn't you mention sooner your ex met a skank off of Craigslist? Do you realise what the people are like who hang out and meet on Craigslist?

[soserious1]

Soserious!!! Why didn't you mention sooner your ex met a skank off of Craigslist? Do you realise what the people are like who hang out and meet on Craigslist?

 

Yeah, they're people who are smart enough to be able to live well on alimony payments.

[GorillaTheater]

My Ex husband is 3 yrs my senior, he's now collecting hefty alimony from me and is living with a 33 yr old he met off craig's list.

 

The "trade in" of unwanted old wives is alive and thriving.

 

I'd suggest having him killed, but that would be illegal and I would never suggest anyone commit an illegal act. And violence is bad. Bad, I say.

[pollywag]

Yeah, they're people who are smart enough to be able to live well on alimony payments.

 

 

Maggots and parasites.

 

Why are you paying alimony? Don't tell me you married a skid Soserious!!!

The infidelity should affect your payment obligations though....?

[gd26]

Maggots and parasites.

 

Why are you paying alimony? Don't tell me you married a skid Soserious!!!

The infidelity should affect your payment obligations though....?

 

Wow. If you divorce someone because that person cheated on you, I can't imagine having to pay alimony. Something just isn't right about that.

[pollywag]

I'd suggest having him killed, but that would be illegal and I would never suggest anyone commit an illegal act. And violence is bad. Bad, I say.

 

Hahaht GT you said what most of us just thought.

It is that infuriating!

but since I am a firm believer that everything comes back to haunt us in life, one way or another I would much prefer people who do harm on to others stick around to reap the "benefits" of what they harboured, it is oh so much more pleasurable that way than to kill them off. If they are dead, game over. Let them stick around to suffer that's where it's at! Muahahahahahha

 

Wow. If you divorce someone because that person cheated on you, I can't imagine having to pay alimony. Something just isn't right about that.

 

 

I totally agree! I don't quite get that picture either...

 

Then again not familiar with divorce laws in every country though I assume it is different from place to place. Personally I would lose my job, sublet my home and move away. Over my dead body a pair of maggots are getting even a single penny of my hard earned cash. Take off for a year or two and then once they are out of your hair come back. Sort of like "hey always wanted to go to Africa, now's a perfect time"