What happens when your 20 year old is now 30?

[clv0116]

Wow. If you divorce someone because that person cheated on you, I can't imagine having to pay alimony. Something just isn't right about that.

 

It's called no fault divorce. In my opinion alimony is a concept from a bygone day that needs radically overhauled. "Both parties deserve to continue the lifestyle they have become accustomed to living." What a load of crap.

 

 

For whatever it's worth, I believe in the sanctity of marriage and won't be trading any one in.

[sumdude]

 

The scenerio you played out is so sweet. How many men today sick with their wives that long anyway? About half. 50/50 chance of a man standing by your side until old age now-a-days. Trying to shame us women into settling down based on what you want from women with a fake fantasy that has nothing to do with real life is really atrocious. Please. Absolutly ridciulous.

 

 

Spend a couple days surfing the divorce and separation board. You'll notice there are more men there whose wives left them than the other way around. Statistically it seems that these days women initiate close to 70% of divorces.

 

 

Seriously, you are in a great position in life right now and should be enjoying it. You have a lot more advantages than you realize.

[pollywag]

Spend a couple days surfing the divorce and separation board. You'll notice there are more men there whose wives left them than the other way around. Statistically it seems that these days women initiate close to 70% of divorces.

 

 

 

 

Actually it's always been like that, in a lot of cases it is the women who want out far more than the men because it's typically the man who is emotionally, or physically abusive of the woman and wants the comfort of a home/family while he does as he pleases. Or he is just a bastard who marries the highschool sweetheart who helped to put him through medical school, and then when he makes it he no longer has use for a woman same age as him and trades her in for a trophy wife. But those are extreme cases.

 

The major reason why women are the ones to intitae divorce is because the most valued asset to be gained from the divorce will go to the woman. What asset is that? The children. In the case where the woman has a high chance that she will gain custody and full control (which in most cases she does) she will file first.

 

Men want to have children look for the most fertile of women even when they are getting way past their own prime because it is the woman who will be there and provide the significant part of the parenting. So because of this, even to this day the law recognizes in most cases the mother as the person who should get full custody of children in divorce.

 

Sort of makes you wonder what the law even thinks of men, to this day....

[samspade]

The major reason why women are the ones to intitae divorce is because the most valued asset to be gained from the divorce will go to the woman. What asset is that? The children. In the case where the woman has a high chance that she will gain custody and full control (which in most cases she does) she will file first.

That is interesting. They also often get a significant chunk of a man's monetary assets, I suppose to feed and clothe the other, most valuable assets.

 

In any case, I don't really understand the purpose of this thread. But I don't really date women based on their age. I think the question presupposes that the typical man "trades in" his gf because of her age. This is yet another straw man created for posters to tear down and feel better about themselves. Attraction is usually based on a number of factors, many intangible. Why is everyone here so focused on age?

 

The reality is that whatever your age, if you project a positive, attractive attitude, free of this kind of bitterness and preemptive loathing, you will attract mates REGARDLESS of whether you're 22, 32, 42, or 52. Of course, people will blame me and others for making them feel inferior. Well, what was it that Eleanor Roosevelt said? Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

 

Women who complain about this kind of thing sound eerily similar to men who complain that "all women are materialistic" or "they don't like nice guys" or what have you. I'll tell you what...if you're a woman and you date a guy who places so much value in age that despite your qualities, he'd dump you at 30, well, dump HIM while you're still 25. Sure, you can bitch about him, but don't cast aspersions on all males because one guy sucked. I've dated some pretty lame women, and I admit, I probably allowed myself to tolerate their b.s. longer than I should have. Do I blame them? No way. Maybe I got duped by a nice body or a sweet smile, but that only covers up the truth for so long. Nevertheless, I refuse to be that guy who complains that all women are this, that, or the other thing, because I know better.

 

If I date a rotten apple, the minute I SEE the rotten part, I toss it. (Rotten being a metaphor for bad character traits.) That doesn't mean I'm going to burn down the orchard.

 

Like Collector said, you can date anyone (or any type, anyway) you want to. I can understand starting a thread about a PARTICULAR guy and complaining about him: "He told me I was too old on my 30th birthday and dumped me!" Like I said, this thread is just creating another straw man so that everyone can line up and rip him to pieces.

 

And just one more thing: Not all men improve with age, either. Plenty of guys fall into the trap of getting married, sitting on the couch, getting fat, swilling beer, and farting themselves to sleep. They give their wives a golden excuse to start looking elsewhere. A lot of men cease improving emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. It's not by accident they are considered unattractive. I'm talking about guys in their 30s, not their 50s! Your life is what you make it, and though we all begin to decay physically after our 20s, that doesn't mean YOU have to become unattractive. There is a degree of choice involved, if you're willing to seize it.

 

I didn't mean for this post to be so long.

[MN randomguy]

I said that a while back, but not as well as you. Hope you get a better response.

 

 

hehe,

 

no such luck. Well Here goes, me being a bastard for expressing myself again.

[MN randomguy]

 

The bottom line is that life is cruel. When you reach your physical peak- your mind and ego have a long way to go before catching up. This is true for both men and women. Men and women both have the capacity to age well or not so well....

 

At 22, what you have is beauty and an open book to write your life on.

Why are you worried about stuff like this when you're so young?

 

Because thinking ahead and planning for the future is just common sense. No plan is a plan to fail.

You're NOT in the driver's seat in terms of having all your ducks in a row, in terms of developing the kind of wisdom that comes with getting older (via experience)... however, when it comes to sex- you are so in the driver's seat.

 

Did you ever think that relationship material guys like sex too? Even if they're awkward about pursuing it. Maybe look at some things other than sex in relationships.

 

And I do think life is cruel, because by the time you develop that inner peace and confidence and wisdom.... UH-oh... you're 30.

 

Basically saying it takes 'til 30 to decide what you want. This is unfortunate being that the average marriage age for women in the US is 25.3 per Wikipedia. This is also reason not to be so scared of 50% divorce rates. Imagine how much bettr your odds are if you actually think long-term being that its a lifelong commitment.

 

I would say that experience isn't the only way to learn. You could learn from other's experience, ask questions of people on the internet, talk to your mother or an older female mentor.

 

 

I will also agree that life is cruel. But not in this matter. Everyone gets to be young once. Everyone gets to choose their priorities. Not everyone gets to get old. Because life is cruel.

 

 

What lesson? Honestly, in reality, your whole post isn't about looking out for women or their best interests. It's about looking out for your own and what you want women to conform to and follow suit you. Relationships are about partnership.

 

Not forcing anyone to do anything. I am stating that if she wants to avoid hurt and having her options limited because of age, one way to avoid this by thinking ahead. She can take the "you're so young, why worry" path and deal with this when she's 35. Do you think that is prudent? If you had a daughter what would you teach her? I am saying that I believe my views are fidely held. If you think I am wrong, set up an internet dating profile an read the profiles of 30 y/o single women.

You clearly think women are incapable of living their lives seperate of tv and the choices they make are dependent on what tv told them to do it. Are your choices dependent on what the media tells men to do? Your opinion of women is even more obvious how little you really think of them and their intelligence.

 

I would like to not always have to be the first one to bring women back to earth on these forums when they start talking about Jennifer, Brad, Angelina, etc.

 

Call me out if I ever look to Hugh Hefner as a role model on these forums.

 

 

 

 

 

This is a really demeaning comment. Why don't you put your emotions down? I hate to tell you but your post is full of what you "feel". Funny how men like you deem your emotions more important and try to shame women about their emotions. I am sorry but your post isn't filled with tons of reason. It's your preferences. That doesn't equal reason.

 

 

I had edited my original post some. I originally was going to hit on the emotional side of wanting to chase drama and that by the time you're bored with that your biological clock may be running short and all of the best guys will have moved on.

Please. This isn't about seeking validation. It's about the mentality that men have about women that we "declind" and he only "gets better". Not one man here responded to the post I made asking questions about how you think women are suppose to feel about that. Good? Happy that men think so little of us?

 

Never said guys get better. I am not out doing the "player" thing. I think guys that do will wind-up pathetic and 50 trying to settle down chasing women in their 20s and not strand a chance. This is why I started on this forum. I want to learn what I'm missing without getting jaded trying to learn by trial and error. I want to get while the getting's good. Just as I advise OP to. I think men have a biological clock that is about 5 years behind women's. So, I'm in the same boat as a 24 y/o woman if you think of it that way.

 

Happy that men give themselves a timeless window and give women a limited one because men obviously think they are more deserving of living life to the fullest while wome nare suppose to conform and limit their experiences right out of college.

 

If by limiting your experiences you mean getting an STD from your aspiring rock star cheating narccistic unfaithful BF or being dumped because you were uncomfrotable iwth a 3-some double penetration by your BF that doesn't care about you other than being a hot piece of ass. Yes, I am advising OP to limit her experiences.

 

By the way, men seek validation from women all the time. That's what sex is for alot of men. Validation that a woman wants him. Sure sex feels good but to ignore that component is full hardy. You feel validated as aman after having sex. You feel validated as a man when women gives you attention or compliments you as well.

 

Good point. That is cconstructive. Make sure to bring it up again where it is applicable.

 

 

Men of excellent character don't try to shame women into making life choices at age 22 when you are clearly still learning and experiecing what life has to offer. Men of excellent character don't create rules that they apply for one gender that they don't think they have to live up to themselves. Decent men hold women in respect and regard.

 

Not trying to shame anyone. This post is to a 22 y/o that to my knowledge has not done anything I deem shameful. I am writing to someone with so much of her life to live nad trying to guide her in a way that is not estructive. In order to do that I have to say that I believe that one way is better than another. If I don't, I'm really not saying anything.

 

The scenerio you played out is so sweet. How many men today sick with their wives that long anyway? About half. 50/50 chance of a man standing by your side until old age now-a-days. Trying to shame us women into settling down based on what you want from women with a fake fantasy that has nothing to do with real life is really atrocious. Please. Absolutly ridciulous.

 

 

Well, happens about 50% of the time. Not an unrealistc goal if you make it your goal and live life intentionally actually planning for the future and thinking about what you're doing.

 

 

 

And men don't have their own physical restrictions when it comes to women? Of course they do.

 

No matter what you do, if your a woman, you just can't win with men. Men think women get worse and men think they get better with time. So we deserve not to have the same things in life that apparently men think they are desreving of. How are you suppose to have a relationship with a gender that thinks that way about you?

 

This is the core. Admit that you are bitter towards men like you did in this thread.

 

 

I don't Trust Men

[sumdude]

Actually it's always been like that, in a lot of cases it is the women who want out far more than the men because it's typically the man who is emotionally, or physically abusive of the woman and wants the comfort of a home/family while he does as he pleases. Or he is just a bastard who marries the highschool sweetheart who helped to put him through medical school, and then when he makes it he no longer has use for a woman same age as him and trades her in for a trophy wife. But those are extreme cases.

 

The major reason why women are the ones to intitae divorce is because the most valued asset to be gained from the divorce will go to the woman. What asset is that? The children. In the case where the woman has a high chance that she will gain custody and full control (which in most cases she does) she will file first.

 

Men want to have children look for the most fertile of women even when they are getting way past their own prime because it is the woman who will be there and provide the significant part of the parenting. So because of this, even to this day the law recognizes in most cases the mother as the person who should get full custody of children in divorce.

 

Sort of makes you wonder what the law even thinks of men, to this day....

 

 

Betrayal, heartbreak, infidelity, 'grass is greener' syndrome, emotional abuse, etc are not gender specific.

 

We're all people here with our strengths, faults, moments of absolute compassion and total selfishness. Really it's about individuals and how we relate. For the last 50 years gender roles have been in question, the lines get blurred and it doesn't help when the idea of a 'war' between the sexes is promoted.

 

Personally I like women.. LOL. Heck I especially love women who like being women and understand what feminine power is.

[Jersey Shortie]

Hey SamSpade, that was actually one of the nicest posts I have seen.

 

 

 

Statistically it seems that these days women initiate close to 70% of divorces.

 

Seriously, you are in a great position in life right now and should be enjoying it. You have a lot more advantages than you realize.

 

I doubt it's because men are so happy with the ole ball and chain that they don't initiate divorce or do you think men are more loyal and that's why you bring this point up?

 

I really am not sure what advantages your talking about. I have a tough time with men.

[Jersey Shortie]

I am stating that if she wants to avoid hurt and having her options limited because of age, one way to avoid this by thinking ahead. She can take the "you're so young, why worry" path and deal with this when she's 35. Do you think that is prudent? If you had a daughter what would you teach her? I am saying that I believe my views are fidely held. If you think I am wrong, set up an internet dating profile an read the profiles of 30 y/o single women.

 

You can't avoid hurt. Whether you are younger or older. No matter a person's age, things are "easy" for anyone. You aren't giving her any options to avoid hurt. What you are doing is giving her some fairy tell option about how she will live happily ever after if she follows your guidence. Which in reality, bests subscribes to what *you* want out of women, not what's really best for women.

 

You talk about women living in fantasy world but I have to say that I think you are living in fantasy world in this regard. You're trying to dictate every woman's life under 25 and scare them into linear thinking. Who are you to say what is right for her? There are alot of women that probably still have an easier time dating in their 30s then men do. If I had a daughter I would teach her to have the things in life she wanted and not to settle for less or marry young because of a really out dated notion about women's place in the world. I would want her to marry for love. And I would tell her to marry someone within her age range that could be her partner, not her father.

 

 

 

I would like to not always have to be the first one to bring women back to earth on these forums when they start talking about Jennifer, Brad, Angelina, etc.

 

Call me out if I ever look to Hugh Hefner as a role model on these forums

 

Well, that's too bad. That's your lowly opinion of women's intelligence that you will have to deal with through your life. It probably reflects in your relationships with women. I really have no clue what women looks to Angelina as a role model. Or that the state of the celebrity life that is followed with a close eye was only created by women. Have you ever talked about Hugh Hefner before? ...Or right, you just did above. How is that diffferent then whe a woman talks about a celebrity. You never talk about a celebrity? You don't seem to have a high opinion of women's intelligence. Especially by making the comment that you are somehow above women that you have to be the one to "bring them back down to earth".

 

 

 

I had edited my original post some. I originally was going to hit on the emotional side of wanting to chase drama and that by the time you're bored with that your biological clock may be running short and all of the best guys will have moved on.

 

This is nothing more then a shaming tactict to convince women to behave how *you* want. Everyone's biological clock is ticking. The best guys will have moved on? Again, another shaming scare tactict. That's unfortunet that you feel you need to do that.

 

 

So, I'm in the same boat as a 24 y/o woman if you think of it that way

.

 

I don't see it that way but you are entitled to see it that way. I think women that age and a man your age are at different stages in life and I hope a woman that age will be able to find a man her age where they can grow together.

 

If by limiting your experiences you mean getting an STD from your aspiring rock star cheating narccistic unfaithful BF or being dumped because you were uncomfrotable iwth a 3-some double penetration by your BF that doesn't care about you other than being a hot piece of ass. Yes, I am advising OP to limit her experiences.

 

Talk about fantasy..you clearly are watching too much porn.

.

 

 

 

 

Not trying to shame anyone. This post is to a 22 y/o that to my knowledge has not done anything I deem shameful. I am writing to someone with so much of her life to live nad trying to guide her in a way that is not estructive.

 

Sure you are shaming her..telling some 22 year old girl who still has alot of maturing to do that she needs to find a man "now" and if she does she will remain married for ever, happily ever after because she made the "right" choice to settle down young. That's shaming someone into conforming to what you want, not what is best for a 22 year old girl. Leading her in a way that isn't destructive? Are you going to go all after school on her and tell her to avoid drugs? That's leading her in a way that isn't destructive..telling her she better get serious now while you gave yourself time to play around into your late 20s is ridiculous.

 

 

 

 

Well, happens about 50% of the time. Not an unrealistc goal if you make it your goal and live life intentionally actually planning for the future and thinking about what you're doing.

 

You are selling a fake fantasy of life all on teh fact that you want women to marry young. That's not realism. That's about control. Let her plan her future and have goals. You had yours right and your 29...it took you that long didn't it.

 

 

 

 

This is the core. Admit that you are bitter towards men like you did in this thread.

 

I am bitter at the fact that men, a gender I do love, will consider me less of a woman for getting older by will continue to say how great they are as they age. What do you want women to do? Be happy about that? Feel grateful for the scraps men through our way? How are you suppose to trust a gender and have a relationship with one that thinks this way about your gender?

 

But really, I'm honored that you did research on me. I have a hard time trusting men. Do you blame me.

[pollywag]

Betrayal, heartbreak, infidelity, 'grass is greener' syndrome, emotional abuse, etc are not gender specific.

 

.

 

 

Yes but you said that women mostly intiate divorce and I not only agree with that statement I explained why.

If the abuse from women to men was so unbearable men would be quick to get out too. It's not the case for the most part. It is said 70% of divorces are intiated by women, what does that tell you? Whatever is happening in those marriages is far more unbearable for the women than it is for men. While problems are not usually one sided it is a shared factor it is typically women who reach a boilling point and want out. Or men are just too apathetic. You choose...

[samspade]

Hey SamSpade, that was actually one of the nicest posts I have seen.

 

Thank you JS. I think we're all responsible for our own happiness. And we can't control what others find attractive...to each his own, right? But people CAN to an extent control how attractive they are. There is no question that men put more stock in physical traits than women do, but I've met plenty of "hot" women who turned out to be really ugly people. And I've met a lot of average-looking women who are irresistable. Personally, I'm not willing to tolerate bad behavior as a tradeoff for a hot piece of a$$. I think this is where a lot of people (guys, especially) run into trouble. The sad truth is that some people would rather be with an SO who treats them like crap than be alone.

 

Also, about the initiating divorce argument...I think it's pretty simple, really. Women are much better at cutting the cord. Men have a very difficult time withdrawing from an emotional commitment. (I'm generalizing now.) I think women overall are better at dealing with their emotions, and are able to decide for themselves that it's over. I'm talking mainly about "thrill is gone" situations, and not instances where a woman is bat shyt crazy or abusive or cheating. And yes I DO think men are more loyal, but I also think loyalty has to give way to realism at some point.

 

I'll add one more thing about the "youth" conversation. Last year, I dated a woman who was 42 years old (a decade older than I am). Now, this woman has a great job as a dance instructor (that's dance instructor, not stripper!), a wonderful personality, a friendly disposition, and, yes, a fantastic body. I'll say it: She was in amazing shape because of her profession, and probably looked better naked than the 22 year old I dated the year before. She also didn't have a bitter bone in her body. Now, her body would have turned my head, regardless...but if her personality hadn't matched up, I wouldn't have given her more than a cocktail's worth of my time. Her personality was extremely playful and flirtatious and confident. As a result, we had a terrific fling. It didn't turn into anything more, but we're still friendly, and I wouldn't hesitate going back to for a roll in the hay if the situation arose.

 

She stood in stark contrast to the 22 year old I dated, who rarely got off the couch to exercise, complained often, and engaged in numerous sh*t tests to try my patience. She was nice, and fun, in her own way, but there were little red flags that creeped up. I probably stayed with her longer than I should have because of the novelty of her youth, just like I saw some novelty in the cougar. Do I regret it or blame her? Nah. We still had fun and I can smile about it now. But I think it's a good example of how someone's age is only tiny factor in his/her level of attractiveness.

 

It sounds like I made it up to illustrate a point, but I swear it's all true.

[pollywag]

Attraction is usually based on a number of factors, many intangible. Why is everyone here so focused on age?

 

Absolutely, I agree with that!!! An android bases their relationship on material calculations. And why would anyone want something with someone like that anway?

 

As a woman, ending up with a guy like that will mean you will always be alone, you are a commodity in a sea of meaningless assets. You will always just be a part of a mathematical equation:

 

ass + tit(squared) + vjay /

cooking + baby incubator+ babysitter x maid.

 

So to answer the question about a woman being replaced, yes more than likely she will be in particular if she falls short because a man who goes into a relationship with no heart to begin will only thinks in terms of calculations in the long run.

 

 

The reality is that whatever your age, if you project a positive, attractive attitude, free of this kind of bitterness and preemptive loathing, you will attract mates REGARDLESS of whether you're 22, 32, 42, or 52.

 

yep!

[pollywag]

Also, about the initiating divorce argument...I think it's pretty simple, really. Women are much better at cutting the cord. Men have a very difficult time withdrawing from an emotional commitment. (I'm generalizing now.).

 

I disagree, it's simply that women will put up with bullshet a lot less now a days because we know we have options. In worst case scenario being alone is 100000000 times better than next to someone who is toxic. It takes a lot for women to break and when we do believe me we have weighed all the options and any future is better than continuing in that.

[pollywag]

As a result, we had a terrific fling. It didn't turn into anything more, but we're still friendly, and I wouldn't hesitate going back to for a roll in the hay if the situation arose.

 

pfft how noble of you. :rolleyes:

[peteyj]

than I should have because of the novelty of her youth, just like I saw some novelty in the cougar. Do I regret it or blame her? Nah. We still had fun and I can smile about it now. But I think it's a good example of how someone's age is only tiny factor in his/her level of attractiveness.

 

 

I think it's funny how you have this theory about what others should do except at the same time you're one who looks at the novelty of youth and then uses stereotype names for older people. ANd being you seem to think all of these things are novelties, I'd say the women complaining probably complain about guys like you. One girl was great but immature. Another was awesome but hey just another novelty.

 

It is funny how you try to tell others not to complain when it seems you just look at women as nothing more than novelties.

[The Collector]

Yes but you said that women mostly intiate divorce and I not only agree with that statement I explained why.

If the abuse from women to men was so unbearable men would be quick to get out too. It's not the case for the most part. It is said 70% of divorces are initiated by women, what does that tell you? Whatever is happening in those marriages is far more unbearable for the women than it is for men. While problems are not usually one sided it is a shared factor it is typically women who reach a boilling point and want out. Or men are just too apathetic. You choose...

 

You can suggest that many of those women want out because of emotional or physical abuse, but I suggest a great number of them initiate divorce because the women are simply bored. The husbands might have been good and loyal, but their usefulness is over once the kids are in school. The fact that they know they will get the kids and alimony/child support/the house is another factor of course.

[burning 4 revenge]

You can suggest that many of those women want out because of emotional or physical abuse, but I suggest a great number of them initiate divorce because the women are simply bored. The husbands might have been good and loyal, but their usefulness is over once the kids are in school. The fact that they know they will get the kids and alimony/child support/the house is another factor of course.

yes, i think the majority of divorces are due to boredom. it seems that way anyways

[BoredPerson]

This is for the men who 'prefer' very young women. What happens when she's no longer your preference because now she's 30, 35 years of age?(Time really flies) Do you trade your partner every decade for someone younger because you 'prefer' women who are under 30?

 

I just don't get the adamant preference for someone a specific age, because no one stays the same age forever very long. I understand wanting maturity, but stating you prefer women who are 18-21, when you want something long-term seems conflicting.

 

Depends, if she has a squeezed out a couple of kids by then she is golden. A wife, someone you will spend your life with. If she is too selfish or you don't want to have kids I see no reason to be with someone for more than 10 years. Therefore it is a kind of moot question.

 

I will say though. That women are supposed to give birth to children as it is their purpose. I'd much rather knock up a 20 year old and see my son squeezed out of her vagina and see her care for a newborn baby than go through all of that with some bitter old crone.

 

But it reality it doesn't work the way either of us describe. What happens depends on what the people involved decide that they want to do. Some men like older women, some women are willing to be with a man only for love.

 

Unlike you, who seems to think that a man should have a 'career' and that simply working a job he loves is not enough.

[samspade]

I think it's funny how you have this theory about what others should do except at the same time you're one who looks at the novelty of youth and then uses stereotype names for older people.

 

Right. I'll refrain from using names or monikers to describe a demographic. Please. "Cougar" is not a term of derision; it's been embraced by the very women it describes. And it isn't a stereotype any more than calling someone a teenager, young turk, or old timer is. Quit being so sensitive.

 

I admitted that the novelty of youth/older age piqued my curiosity, and was a factor in initial attraction, but the point was that it didn't keep me holding on to those relationships once I got past it. Age can be as much a factor of attraction as hair color, smile, or skin color. I'm not going to apologize for that. The point was, those are all just factors, and once you get past the superficial, the content of that person's character still matters more. But in your rush to complain you probably didn't realize that.

 

ANd being you seem to think all of these things are novelties, I'd say the women complaining probably complain about guys like you. One girl was great but immature. Another was awesome but hey just another novelty.

 

It is funny how you try to tell others not to complain when it seems you just look at women as nothing more than novelties.

 

What's really funny is what you seem to think I think. Both of those women had good qualities and bad. You have boiled down my statement to the moronic notion that I "look at women as nothing more than novelties," and that that somehow contradicts my belief that complaining is counter-productive. If that is what you gathered from my post, I can't help you.

 

The relationships in question didn't end because of their respective ages. I can't say with certainty, but I'd be willing to bet that neither of these women are "complaining" about me, as you assert. There probably are women who complain about me, I won't doubt that, but that is THEIR problem if they want to complain about past relationships rather than make their present worth living. We all roll our eyes from time to time and think, "I can't believe I dated him/her," but the difference between someone with a healthy attitude and someone with a bitter, angry attitude is the healthy person will chalk it up to experience and learn something from it. The bitter person will dwell on it and rip his/her ex without ever thinking for one second that maybe there was something he/she might improve or change.

 

I disagree, it's simply that women will put up with bullshet a lot less now a days because we know we have options. In worst case scenario being alone is 100000000 times better than next to someone who is toxic. It takes a lot for women to break and when we do believe me we have weighed all the options and any future is better than continuing in that.

 

I think this is true, too, but I still believe that women are simply better at it. And I was not referring to "toxic" situations, which are much more clear cut for the person walking away. I was thinking of situations wherein the fire died, things got boring, etc., etc. One person wasn't necessarily abusive to another. In situations like that, I truly believe a woman will be much more likely to end it - in fact, she'll put the process into motion quietly and prepare herself for ending it. Men can be much more oblivious.

[allina]

Soserious!!! Why didn't you mention sooner your ex met a skank off of Craigslist? Do you realise what the people are like who hang out and meet on Craigslist?

 

Wow talk about an over reaction!

 

What sort of people are you talking about here that make you go ?

I use CL, when I was in college I found the best roomates EVER on CL, we then bought a washer/dryer off CL from some other cool people, a friend of mine met a great guy on CL, they've been together for 3 years and they're both cool people, I know a LS member who posted a dating ad on there too, he's a total sweetheart. I think your assumption was quite out of line.

 

I also feel like a couple women are taking this thread as a personal insult and attack. It makes their hurt and panic shine through, while I feel for them I think we need to lighten up.

 

All that's been said is that while women can be beautiful at any age it's best to start dating a future wife when she is in her 20's so that you can have some one on one fun and still have kids before 35. Ok, no biggie.

[clv0116]

I also feel like a couple women are taking this thread as a personal insult and attack. It makes their hurt and panic shine through, while I feel for them I think we need to lighten up.

 

All that's been said is that while women can be beautiful at any age it's best to start dating a future wife when she is in her 20's so that you can have some one on one fun and still have kids before 35. Ok, no biggie.

 

It seemed like a pretty innocent thing to say honestly.

[Jaytb]

You know, I think it is pretty funny how women usually prefer older men. Is it so bad that men have the reverse preference? As long as it's legal, then it's none of my business what two people are doing.

 

If a woman can have whatever standards for dating, then a man can have whatever standards of his own. It looks like some women in this thread would like men to have no say in what he wants, and a man should not decide for himself whom he dates. He should instead conform to what they think is correct.

[pollywag]

Wow talk about an over reaction!

 

 

I don't think so! Meeting someone on CL personals is low. I mean Soserious' ex and the skeeve he left her for who are both living off of her alimony paments met on CL personals, enough said.

 

Your college friends lucked out. For the most part CL is rank. It's my opinion you don't have to agree with it.

[Jersey Shortie]

I will say though. That women are supposed to give birth to children as it is their purpose. I'd much rather knock up a 20 year old and see my son squeezed out of her vagina and see her care for a newborn baby than go through all of that with some bitter old crone.

 

 

It's like Rosemary's baby all over again huh.

 

 

All that's been said is that while women can be beautiful at any age it's best to start dating a future wife when she is in her 20's so that you can have some one on one fun and still have kids before 35. Ok, no biggie.

 

It's more the fact that men 35+ think that it's okay for them to dick around and then get serious in old age and then girls like me in my 20s should settle for someone that age while he condems women his age or even women a good 10 years younger. It's the idea that some men here don't thin kthey get older or aren't affected by aging. Plain unrealistic. Luckly, most men don't want to be 40+ year old fathers and act make more wise choices.

[pollywag]

It's like Rosemary's baby all over again huh.

 

 

Jersey he talks about women having babies as if he were talking about the family dog laying on a carboarad box in the garage thrusting out pups.

 

see my son squeezed out of her vagina and see her care for a newborn baby than go through all of that with some bitter old crone.

 

At least we know where he stands in terms of how sees women. If people could be be hyperlinked via a tap on their body part to some of the crap they say on this site, what hassles it would save us in the dating game!