I need a guys answer on this one!

[Emely]

Well, I have a question to all the men out there which might sound a bit weird but I guess this is one of these things where men and women think differently and I need somebody who traslates the whole thing for me!

 

What exactly does it mean when a men is holding hands with you?

 

Guess I have to explain this one a bit! There is this guy who I got to know through one of my friends. I only meet him on weekends when we all go out together and we are getting along really well(he is a really nice guy and I can talk about everything with him - although we are pretty different in lots of things). And every time we meet we end up sitting beside each other and holding hands in secret so that the others at the table wont see it.

 

I know that's really childish - but it's so sweet.

 

I just really do not know what to make of it cause last weekend I found out that he has a girlfriend, but the relatinship does not seem to work very well.

 

He does not seem like a cheater, and we already met (not planned) without anybody else around and went for a drink and nothing happend.

 

So my question is - what exactly does he want?? What does a guy want if he is just holding hands and nothing more?

 

If he would have wanted more he could have started something this one night when we were alone (and at this point I did not know about his girlfriend). And if he would not be interested he wouldn't always try to have body contact and hold hands with me. And the stranges aspect of this situation is that he normally seems to be a really tough guy - he is really into the gothic thing!

[Tony T]

There is no male or female perspective on this issue. It is ONLY his perspective.

 

I can only speculate that, as you said, he is having problems in his own relationship and seems to be testing the waters with you. He probably doesn't get much from the lady he is seeing. A guy would not hold hands with you and do things with you if he wasn't interested.

 

There are people who are just touchy/feely and there are those to which holding hands is a gesture of friendship. So to find out what this means in your situation, you have to ask this man.

 

If you are fond of him, you may as well have a bit of a discussion about this. Let him know that if things don't work out with his current lady, you would be open to something if you weren't seeing someone at the time...and just leave it like that.

 

He wouldn't be holding your hand if he were truly fond of his current lady unless, of course, he is just one of those guys who goes around holding everybody's hand and kissing everybody out of generalized affection.

 

Sorry you won't get a straight answer here...it's got to come from HIM!!!

[Amanda]

Hey Tony!

 

Hope you don't mind but I've got a questionhere for you!

 

If you take this case here - and as it seems she really likes this guy (or at least thinks so) and they click and everything - if she wants him badly - should she give in if he puts a move on her? Specially if he didn't really break up with his other lady yet - but is not happy in the relationship?

 

I was in a similar situation and I#m just curious how you think about that!

[Tony T]

Good question.

 

Breaking up is not an official act or proclamation. Neither is divorce. All separations, break ups and divorces take place in the heart. The outward proclamation is simply a visible symbol of what has already taken place in the hearts and souls of two people. Usually in the case of break ups of any kind, one of the parties has long distanced himself/herself from the other. It's usually the girl that iniates the break-up and usually because they guy wouldn't listen to her or pick up cues about their unhappiness. Women can be mourning the end of a relationship for months while they are still going with a guy and trying to figure out how to break the news to him.

 

The guy you mentioned has probably been unhappy for a long time and now wants to move on. He will make his break up official in his own good time.

 

If he makes a move, she should go for it if she's interested. Then both can mutually discuss what just happened. But if he makes a move, that means he has lifted his commitment to his girlfriend and freed her in his soul. If for some reason he goes back with her phsically, it's only for convenience. They are NOT a true couple.

 

That's why trust is easy and difficult at the same time. You have to listen to your heart and go with your feelings. You always know if someone truly cares for you. If they do they will NEVER cheat. If they don't they will. Human beings are the only animal on the planet that deceives itself, though, and we always hope the person we are with really does love us...even though some deep down know that not to be the case.

 

If a married man makes a move on you, depending on your ethics or morals, the best thing to do is give him the number of a good divorce attorney and ask him to call you when he gets a final decree.

 

The guy you are asking about is single. The question you have to ask yourself here is if you began seeing someone who made a play for you while he was seeing someone else, would you trust him? Would you wonder if he would ever do this while he was seeing you? I think you could talk this out. I don't think you should risk missing out on a really wonderful relationship but at the same time you have to watch out for yourself. There are a lot of players out there.

 

I will also tell you that one of the oldest lines guys use is telling a lady that he isn't getting along with his girlfriend and they are about to break up. This gives their female prey a lot of hope and incentive to do things she may not do otherwise.

 

While I'm on the subject, I can't begin to tell you how many men tell babes they meet in clubs that they aren't getting along with their wives and are soon to divorce while their wives are home in bed seven months pregnant.

 

What a world?!?!?!?!?!