ps1972 Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 I sent my ex a text message because I have been trying to talk to her and she wont give me the time of day so I am at the point where I have relised that I am getting nowhere and need some kind of ending to this.Here's what I wrote"I just want you to know that i still love you and will for a long time, this will be the last time you hear from me as much as it hurts. I am letting go, I love you" What do you think? is this stupid or does anyone think this will affect her in any way? If she never replies is that my answer? Why wont she give me reasons for not talking to me? I never did anything bad to her. Since we broke up I have been calling letting her see me around and I have decided to stop all of that(let her miss me) stuff. So I am wondering if this will make her think about me never being around again. I dont think I have giving here time to miss me... Link to post Share on other sites
so_confused7 Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 Hey! okay- you are talking to someone that is going thru the exact same thing you are- and trust me i know how FRUSTRATING it is- but i have come to realize that it is the game that he is playing with me that is what is driving me nuts!! You want what you can't have!! Thus- i want to talk to him SO bad- but he wont talk to me SO i just want to talk to him more!!! I honestly dont know if she will respond to your text message- i have done all of that myself (stuff you mentioned doing) and it did not seem to phase my ex at all!! i think it honestly pushed him further away~ As far as the reasons go for her not talking to you- i dont know other than she is not mature enough to handle talking to you (that is what i have concluded as far as my ex is concerned!) As far as letting her see you around- i dont think that is a good idea b/c it only hurts you worse- i doubt it even phases her......(speaking here again on my personal experience). All i can say is hang in there- it has been one week ago today that i decided to stop all of the calling myself and it sucks- but if i can do it...ANYONE can!! and only time will tell if she will come back around again!! Link to post Share on other sites
VASH THE STAMPEDE Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 Just move on man,she's no interested .Your playing games with your self and in the end its going to hurt you more.I've done it before,so its coming from experience. If she's interested she'll call you.I f not just let it be. Link to post Share on other sites
MIKEY Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 I say you let her go. Give her time to miss you. If she comes back play hard w/ her! Rememeber npw ypour feelings are #1 not hers!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Clancy Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 Your message to her is fine. It's not stupid. It will only become stupid if you don't stick to it. Your relationshipwith her sounds like it's over so let it go. Don't expect her to get your message and suddenly say to herself, Oh my God what have I done? In all likelihood she'll get your message and pray to herself that you really mean it. You are probably a good and nice person. Continue on in your journey through life and wait in excited anticipation for the next good thing that will come your way. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 You're not letting go if you're wondering how/if she will be affected by your message. And if you're not sincere about it, that will show the minute you try to follow up with another message or a phone call or a "coincidental" meeting. As with others who have replied, I speak from experience. I've walked many a mile in your shoes. It's so hard to get over someone who ended things for no apparent reason, and who isn't able to discuss it in a meaningful way, if at all. But just because she can't or won't discuss it doesn't mean her mind isn't firmly made up. The relationship is over. "just cos you feel it, doesnt' mean it's there." You feel love for her; that doesn't mean she feels the same. You feel the relationship is vital and must be saved; but clearly she doesn't agree. Believe me I know how hard it is to come to terms with the fact that the person you love above all others doesn't feel the same way. But the sooner you recognize that your perspective on love and your former relationship is ONLY your perspective -- not a truth, just a perspective -- the sooner you'll be able to accept that it's over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ps1972 Posted October 13, 2003 Author Share Posted October 13, 2003 She didn't reply to my text and evrything you guys said is so true. I am hurting myself by hanging on to hope that isn't there. I am trying hard to let go and I was kind of hopeing that the message I sent would affect her because I really didn't mean it i am just looking for a responce and I have to accept that it is over. I know that it is easy for her to forget about me because she has gone back to her ex and that alone should give me enough reason to say the hell with her but it still is hard to do. I want to move on and I am trying very hard but I guess it is not that easy when you dont have friends to fall back on like myself. I was stupid enough to isolate myself with her and now that she is gone I panic alot because I don't know what to do with myself. I know this is for the best because if she loved me she wouldn't have gone back to her ex. It's a hard thing to accept but thank God for this site because I don't know what I would do without it. Thanks again.... Link to post Share on other sites
mewbomb Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 is that isolating yourself within a relationship will definetly give you heartache in the end!!! im in the same boat as you ps1972 and i have to let go, to believe there is something out there better for me, i just have to find it. It is so hard, but i guess i have no choice, she hasn't called, and seemed to have changed her NUMBER!!!? so imagine how i feel in the situation, not only do i not know about why she broke it off, but now i have no possible way of finding out, i sent one email in the two week time, but nothing yet, not expecting it either!!! Not sure what would make someone push away someone they do LOVE, but aren't sure about... that i will never know. Anyways, i think you and I need to step back and take each day as it comes, stay busy, talk to anyone... call someone, write emails or chat, eventually the pain will go away..just keep telling yourself that!! I know how hard it could be to be in love and isolate yourself and then get crushed by the whole situation!!!! Good luck and Stay Calm!? Feel free to message me anytime to chat about our situations... L8TER Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted October 14, 2003 Share Posted October 14, 2003 And here's one for the road... When you feel things slipping a bit, be direct and get stuff on the table, but pull back a little and make yourself more elusive. Do not become a pitiful groveler. It only makes you look weak and pathetic in her eyes. There also comes a point at which there's no return. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, there comes a point when the relationship is unsalvageable. Move on to the next one. Learn from this. Let the woman tell you that she loves you first. Link to post Share on other sites
vh5150 Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 She is probably afraid of getting hurt so she plays games to stay in control. This way she won't have to get too close. Once you've stated your peace, there is nothing else you can do. You need to take steps to move forward in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
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