Well, I just scraped my car against a post by accident.

[wuggle]

Thanks for those sage words, Uncle Wuggle.

 

Your welcome.

 

Uncle Wuggle , I like that :laugh:

[Taramere]

Your welcome.

 

Uncle Wuggle , I like that :laugh:

 

Okay, as we're all friends again - here's a revelation.

 

It's not just the fact that I used to handle RTA cases at all. That's a part of it, but there are more personal issues at stake that I've been keeping quiet about.

 

I failed my driving test. Five times. There's Ross passing on what was, from the sound of it, the first attempt. Yet I failed 5 times. The injustice is overwhelming to me. I'm alert, careful and considerate when driving, my car has practically no rust, I think I could hang a magic tree on a mirror without guidance, casual observers have actually congratulated me when I reverse parked with ease into a tiny space. Yet.....Five times. Five. And there's Ross passing on his first attempt.

 

It must have been that magic tree.

[wuggle]

I failed my first 6 attempts, first 4 in my 20s and then gave up, finally passed when I was 30. Really wish now that I hadn't given up in my 20s, spent about 10 years holding myself back in my job (IT) as I could only use public transport.

 

My sister passed her's first time, and was described as a 'Natural' driver, yet she is too scared to drive and hasn't for years now. Go figure ?

[Ross PK]

Apart from the magic tree, I don't see what was so wrong or astonishing about asking the questions,

 

Should I get a battery recharger for my car?

Should I try to stop my car from getting rust?

Do I need a registration certificate to sell my car?

 

Most people who first start driving aren't going to know much about this kind of stuff, and it has nothing to do with driving ability.

 

Okay, as we're all friends again - here's a revelation.

 

It's not just the fact that I used to handle RTA cases at all. That's a part of it, but there are more personal issues at stake that I've been keeping quiet about.

 

I failed my driving test. Five times. There's Ross passing on what was, from the sound of it, the first attempt. Yet I failed 5 times. The injustice is overwhelming to me. I'm alert, careful and considerate when driving, my car has practically no rust, I think I could hang a magic tree on a mirror without guidance, casual observers have actually congratulated me when I reverse parked with ease into a tiny space. Yet.....Five times. Five. And there's Ross passing on his first attempt.

 

It must have been that magic tree.

 

 

 

I'm not having a go at you so correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem very bitter and have some sort of hatred towards me.

 

I'm sorry if it's taken you that many times to pass your test and I passed it first time, but that isn't my fault. Maybe you had a really tough examiner? Maybe your instructor thought you were ready for the test and you weren't because you hadn't really had enough lessons?

 

If it makes you feel any better it did take me around 52 lessons until my instructor thought I was ready for the test. And I believe I ONLY, just made it though my test. Most people seem to be ready to take their test after 20 lessons or whatever.

[Ross PK]

Anyway, I'm seriosuly considering giving up driving. I don't think it's for me.

[carhill]

You stuck it out through 52 lessons, passed the test, own a car and now you want to give up driving? Read that back to yourself 100 times and see the error in your thought processes

[Ross PK]

Btw, I didn't ask 'Should I try to stop my car from getting rust?', I mentioned that my car has a few small spots of rust, probably surface rust, and asked if it's that important to do anything about it?

 

I was wondering whether people just don't bother with things like that.

 

You stuck it out through 52 lessons, passed the test, own a car and now you want to give up driving? Read that back to yourself 100 times and see the error in your thought processes

 

I know I know, I've spent so much money too. But I don't think driving is for me, when I went into town today I really couldn't cope with it.

 

I was starting to feel a little better, but people like Taramere don't help.

 

Stupid dumb mistakes that no one else would do are the kind of things that happen to me, and it will happen again, only this time it'll probably be much worse with people around staring at me thinking 'wtf? he can't drive'.

 

I don't enjoy it, I was doing, but I don't now. The only reason why I took up driving was because I thought it was going to help me leave this area, but it looks like it hasn't worked out. Now I don't know what I'm going to do.

 

I'd kill myself if I could, but I haven't got enough guts to do it.

[burning 4 revenge]

Youre going to kill yourself because you scraped your car against a post?

 

Ross stop being such a weenie. Driving takes practice, thats all.

 

Have you ever talked to any immigration attorneys about gettin a work permit in the United States? I know you wanted to do that before

[burning 4 revenge]

Okay, as we're all friends again - here's a revelation.

 

It's not just the fact that I used to handle RTA cases at all. That's a part of it, but there are more personal issues at stake that I've been keeping quiet about.

 

I failed my driving test. Five times. There's Ross passing on what was, from the sound of it, the first attempt. Yet I failed 5 times. The injustice is overwhelming to me. I'm alert, careful and considerate when driving, my car has practically no rust, I think I could hang a magic tree on a mirror without guidance, casual observers have actually congratulated me when I reverse parked with ease into a tiny space. Yet.....Five times. Five. And there's Ross passing on his first attempt.

 

It must have been that magic tree.

See if you had just taken me up on my marriage proposal you could have moved to Illinois.

 

Here you can just buy a license if you dont pass the driving test. You can even drive a semi truck in Illinois if you give the fatman the paper bag full of cash

[jerbear]

Hey Ross,

 

You'll be fine. This is just the first time. The more you drive the more you get used to your car and improve your skills.

 

Every car you drive will require some time to get used to. Like getting used to horse power, braking distance, where the controls are, etc...

 

I remember taking lessons and my teacher purposely chose a parking spot where there were expensive cars parked. Being 15 at that time and under my parents insurance, it was not an easy feeling. You knew I was being careful.

 

My first car, well I scrapped the bottom when I drove it off the lot, my first new car and it hit bottom. Two weeks later I hit a post. :rolleyes:Three months later I got a speeding ticket. Six months later I found squirrels scratching the paint on the hood and dents.

 

This is your first driving experience and first car. You'll get over this. Get back in the car and drive to an empty lot and practice, practice stopping, turning, parking, etc...

[anne1707]

Ross

 

It's ten years this year since I passed my test. I absolutely hated driving that first year on my own. But now I love the freedom and control it gives me. To be honest I think some of the problem here on LS is that people are forgetting how they felt when they started driving. Listen to Wuggle (). listen to Carhill and listen to me - do not give up.

[wuggle]

Ross, PLEASE dont let some negative stuff that ONE person says have that big an impact on you. These sort of mistakes do NOT just happen to you , they happen to most of us (except the oh so perfect people ). PLEASE read my previous posts, I didn't just say these things to make you feel better they are truth, honest. I didn't pass my test untill seventh time, I have dinted and scratched my car lots, especially when I was first starting.

 

This is all normal, you are normal, being scared is normal.

 

Now that I have more experience I wouldn't give up driving for anything, it transformed my life and it can transform yours.

 

You may be scared of getting back in the car, you may feel like a prat, you may get pi**ed when you sratch or dint it, but trust me ths is all normal. Get back in the car and drive.

 

do NOT give up on yourself.

 

Uncle Wuggle.

[carhill]

Ross, just to qualify my advice, I've been driving street vehicles for about 35 years now and have never had an accident or moving violation. I drove race cars for about 15 years. I'm probably an evolutionary aberration, or, perhaps more accurately (per my wife), grandpa.

 

Seriously, no one will ever be a perfect driver. Even those of us who don't displace paint have had near misses (I've had plenty, some of which were my fault). It's called being human

[D-Lish]

Crap- I did dumb things when I first started driving. I actually started driving when I was 14. I'd wait for my parents to fall asleep and steal the volvo and pick up my friends and drive around in the country. Once, when it was snowing the driveway iced a bit and when I tried to come into the garage I hit the right side of the bumper on the side of the garage. I convinced my dad someone must have hit the car in a parking lot:eek:

 

I also backed up my dad's brand new sports car into another car in a parking lot and dented their door and took off (I know, I was only 16 and scared)

 

My ex husband wrote off two of my dad's cars while we were dating.

 

People do dumb stuff- but the more you drive, the more you will get comfortable.

 

It doesn't help that you expect bad things to happen all the time- you just invite bad things to happen with that sort of attitude!

[Storyrider]

Everyone has a first accident. Now you've gotten yours out of the way.

[burning 4 revenge]

I hope Taramere is rolling around unable to sleep, haunted by visions of Ross trying to hang himself by the neck with his Magic Tree

[O'bama]

Everyone has a first accident. Now you've gotten yours out of the way.

Ross should come drive my Beast for a day - that thing's practically bulletproof.

[Taramere]

I hope Taramere is rolling around unable to sleep, haunted by visions of Ross trying to hang himself by the neck with his Magic Tree

 

I wash my hands, and I wash them again....but the blood never goes.

 

I'm not having a go at you so correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem very bitter and have some sort of hatred towards me.

 

You and I just aren't on the same wavelength humour-wise.

 

I don't hate you, but I do remember you from before. I posted as Lindya back then. When you first arrived I felt sorry for you and spent some time trying to be helpful. Then I decided it was a waste of my time. By that stage, you'd amassed a fair group of LS helpers, so it wasn't like you were a lone voice crying in the wildnerness.

 

Next time I looked on a thread of yours, it was mayhem. The people who'd been kind to you had become frustrated by what they regarded as no genuine motivation on your part to change. They became less sympathetic. A bit sharper with you. You accused them of bullying behaviour and I think the "this is the sort of thing that makes me want to kill myself" card was played more than once.

 

Fresh supporters stepped in on your behalf to express outrage about the bullies. Then they would then take over the "Help Ross build up his confidence" role. Then they'd get frustrated with you, etc. It's what you call the drama triangle.

 

I was starting to feel a little better, but people like Taramere don't help.

 

That sounds familiar. The "you guys were really helping me start to get somewhere...and then I had this major setback when I encountered someone mean...sick 'em guys...."

 

I'm not here to help you. I'm here to express my thoughts and opinions as honestly as I can within the guidelines, and to write - which I enjoy doing. If you and anyone else wants to portray me as some pantomime villain for and righteously rebuke me, I'll stick on a twirly moustache and play along.

 

The attempts to help you don't fail. You fail. You actively look for setbacks to stop you improving your life. You needed an excuse to not drive, and to not leave the house - and this is the place where you can entrench all those excuses into your psyche, play victim and get others embroiled into indulging your helplessness. Anyone who says "get a grip...you're not that helpless. Figure out some of the answers for yourself" or alternatively "if you think you're that incompetent, then either get lessons to improve or give it up" will be rounded upon.

 

It's interesting that after you were banned from LS the first time, you actually managed to go and pass your driving test.

 

That's all from me. I look forward to seeing how this unfurls.

[wuggle]

Taramere - fair enough, the honesy is refreshing. Have you passed your test yet ?, couldn't ascertain that from your previous post. If not, please read my previous post and do NOT give up, it really is worth it. My life became so much better after passing my test and I hope yours does too. Please try not to be bitter about people who pass first time though, life is full of stuff like that, you just have to live with it.

 

Ross - You have been given lots of good advice, help and support from people on here, to repay them you MUST keep driving. I'm sure no-one on this site minds helping and advising (we love it, we're all so bloody opinionated) but it will be a bit of a slap in the face if you stop now. Prove your detractors wrong, keep driving, and do whatever you need to make your life how you want it to be.

 

Good luck to both.

[Taramere]

Taramere - fair enough, the honesy is refreshing. Have you passed your test yet ?,

 

I did. I passed it when I was 19. The moment I failed, I'd put my application to sit it again back in. First time I failed for being overly cautious. Probably, as Ross suggested, too soon to sit my test. I hadn't had many lessons. Second time - same thing. Third time, not cautious enough. Fourth time, skidding slightly during emergency stop (it was raining heavily - Jesus!).

 

Fifth time....you know when you have to reverse round a corner? My instructor had always told me "if you can feel you're not going straight. Stop and tell the examiner you're going to drive forward and start again. That's perfectly okay to do." So I did that, and the examiner failed me for it. The injustice.

 

Sixth time - I thought it was quite possibly the worst example of driving I'd ever given an examiner, and I passed. I don't really get the logic of these things.

 

There was one examiner in our area who was always a nervous wreck during the test. Not conducive to helping people relax and drive as they'd normally drive. Also, back then there seemed to be some deal where examiners had to be as cold and unfriendly as possible....most of them wouldn't even say good morning. The one who passed me was a bit more human.

 

Driving away from the test centre with my instructor, finally flushed with success, I spotted the nervous examiner standing at a roadside holding his clipboard and shaking like a leaf. Standing next to him was a young guy in tears. Next to them, smashed against a tree, was a learner car. I'm assuming that one was a fail.

[wuggle]

Driving away from the test centre with my instructor, finally flushed with success, I spotted the nervous examiner standing at a roadside holding his clipboard and shaking like a leaf. Standing next to him was a young guy in tears. Next to them, smashed against a tree, was a learner car. I'm assuming that one was a fail.

 

I seriously hope so

 

When I finally passed my test I think I did so because I had developed a sort of "what-ever" attitude and was much calmer and less wound up than previous attempts, must have showed as increased confidence, I think that is what they are really looking for rather than technical ability as I swear I did things worse than my previous attempts - justice ? I think the examiners leave that to higher powers, they probably have enough on their plate hiding their fear day in day out.

 

I don't know where I would be without my car now. Whenever it's in for a service etc I feel so constrained by public transport. Went to town the other day (20 minute journey in car) took nearly two hours. Not sure what public transport is like in the rest of the world but the UK isn't brilliant (London's not too bad though)

[Ross PK]

Ross, PLEASE dont let some negative stuff that ONE person says have that big an impact on you. These sort of mistakes do NOT just happen to you , they happen to most of us (except the oh so perfect people ). PLEASE read my previous posts, I didn't just say these things to make you feel better they are truth, honest. I didn't pass my test untill seventh time, I have dinted and scratched my car lots, especially when I was first starting.

 

This is all normal, you are normal, being scared is normal.

 

Now that I have more experience I wouldn't give up driving for anything, it transformed my life and it can transform yours.

 

You may be scared of getting back in the car, you may feel like a prat, you may get pi**ed when you sratch or dint it, but trust me ths is all normal. Get back in the car and drive.

 

do NOT give up on yourself.

 

Uncle Wuggle.

 

When I went to town yesterday I encountered a roundabout and really didn't know how to deal with it, I tried to do what I thought was right by going into the right lane, not really sure if I signalled correctly, and as I was turning off onto the road I wanted there seemed to be a car to left of me just behind me, it seemed as though I almost could've hit him.

 

I was then driving down a main road with about 3 lanes, I was in the middle and wanted to get into the left, now I'm not sure if you can just signal and go into the left lane, I was quite sure you could, but something didn't quite feel right about it, and it was really busy, I was trying to find a gap in the traffic, panicing, looking in my wing miirrors to see if it was clear, I was hoping people would slow down and make a bit of way for me, but they didn't, then there ended up being a car behind me to the left (again), it sort of seemed like maybe I coudl pull over to the left lane and I did, I'm not sure if it was a close call or if I did the right thing or what.

 

Then, when getting home, I couldn't work out how to get onto the right road, I tried too, but I just ended up getting lost for ages and was paniking, not knowing what to do, then somehow, by pure luck, I found the right road again.

 

All this time I was concentrating 100%, to make sure I don't make some stupid dumd mistake/crash, yet I still found it unbearably difficult.

 

How on earth do I have any chance of travlling even further, which is what I was hoping to do to go to a job or study at a college in an area where I want to move to? There's satallite navigation but I'm sure it'll be too distracting when it's giving me instructions (even lsitening to music in the car is distracting), and it's going to instuct me to go onto a motorway, and I know for a fact that I'll never be able to deal with a motorway.

 

I'm sure most people don't have all this trouble when they're first driving on thier own.

 

It's this what really made me feel like giving up driving. Getting the bus or a taxi sounds totally blissfull in comparison now.

[carhill]

I'm sure most people don't have all this trouble when they're first driving on thier own.

 

Another erroneous thought process

 

Try doing more driving practice when you don't have to go somewhere and stick to the less traveled roads. That's kinda like doing solo warmup laps at the race track. Feel the car and the road out

[anne1707]

I'm sure most people don't have all this trouble when they're first driving on thier own.

 

But they do Ross. When Wuggle first went out on his own at night (a few days after passing his test), he was only supposed to be going to get a takeaway and should have been back in 15/20 minutes. An hour and a half later he finally got home - because he could not see somewhere he felt he could park he just kept driving round in circles (probably looking like a startled rabbit ).

 

Remember - when moving lanes, don't forget your blind spot so don't just rely on your wing mirror. Take a quick look over your shoulder too.

[Ross PK]

A therapist that I used to talk too, said that a lot or most people usually just stick to the left hand lane on a roundabout whatever way they're turning, and he wasn't sure if it was leagal or not.

 

Is this true? If it is then maybe I could do it to? I know I'd find that a lot easier and it feels like it'd be a lot less likely for me to crash. Maybe this means a lot of people find roundabouts too hard to cope with?