Is he mad, is it over, should I forget him?

[bravesgirl]

 

I have known this man for about four months. We've seen each other a total of three times. We talked to each other a lot on the phone and texted each other quite a bit. We have never gone longer than a week without talking to each other on the phone. He's usually the one who calls me. Recently he called me when I was home from college hanging out with friends, drinking, and he wanted me to go home so I could talk to him on the phone. He said to prove my love, I would go home to talk to him. I said no because I do not get to see my friends very often. When he found out I was back home he said "oh that's where u r?" That was at about 2 in the morning. He said okay call me when you get home. Well... I got home at 4:30am (5:30 eastern time, where he was) and I didn't want to call him because he gets up early really early to work and I didn't want to bother him. He called me at 6:30am and asked why I didn't call him and so I told him. He then said alright I'll call you later. I haven't gotten a call from him in two weeks. I even tried calling him a couple of nights ago and he didn't answer. But he never answers when I call him.

 

And earlier that week he had called me and he had to hang up for some reason and said he would call me back. So we were texting back and forth and he asked me if i loved him. (he had asked this before on the phone but i avoided it!) I wouldn't tell him so he texted me that he loved me. Then i told him i loved him.

 

I don't know what to do because I care about him and I really want to either talk to him or have some kind of closure. I also wonder if he thought I was messing around with another guy but I wasn't and I do feel kind of bad for not calling him.

[lonelypiscesguy]

I don't mean to be mean, but I would have my suspicions. LDR is definitely difficult and communication is key. Guess all you can do now is keep up the effort or give up.

[a fallen leaf]

This sounds a little bit weird to me too. I think you should be really honest towards him and expect honesty from him. You cannot build a relationship on suspicion.

[KikiW]

It sounds like he is more interested in a deep relationship than you are. You say you can go up to a week without talking sometimes, but then he demands your attention when he wants it and is asking you to make declarations of love about 4 months into the relationship. I think it's pretty obvious that you weren't ready to say it, and you got kind of backed into it.

 

If you want to move forward with this relationship then you are both going to have to have an honest talk about everything - expectations, schedules, etc. If having that kind of conversation isn't likely, then this relationship isn't going anywhere.

[Lucky_One]

He never answers when you call him?

 

Is he married or in another relationship?

[thegoodlife]

Yeah that's what I was thinking too...it's kinda suspicious that he doesn't answer when you call and it always has to be him calling you. And the fact that he had to hang up so suddenly but then continued to text you...something isn't right with that.

[LonelyTiger]

That one crossed my mind too. Whatever's going on there's something seriously dodgy about the way he's conducting this relationship.

 

To answer your original question bravesgirl '......should I forget him?'

 

Probably, yes - unless you're up for a lot of hassle and heartache!

[bravesgirl]

He travels for work and they stay in hotels with roomates. He's okay with talking to me when his roomate is around but sometimes he isn't. I think its really screwy and I don't know what to think.

 

It also bothers me that he was so bent on the love thing one day and wanting to talk to me and then can go two weeks without any communication.

 

His cell phone is paid for by his company and was turned off for a few days when I tried calling him. Then I tried a few days later and it was back on but of course he didn't answer.

 

When we do talk he always asks if I'm alone and if I had been hanging out with a guy he always suspects that I was messing around with him. I really do wonder if he is involved with someone else because he does get paranoid when I'm out with other people. Maybe I need to forget him and find someone who respects and appreciates me. There are a lot of guys out there but its so hard to let someone go when you have gotten to know them, even if its not the best relationship.

 

The situation is just messed up. If I talk to him again we will definitely have to talk about everything. Thanks for the advice.

[gopher]

Insecure and controlling come to mind when it comes to him.

[TMichaels]

bravesgirl,

 

You've posted about this loser numerous times in various forums on LS, and in nearly every single instance, others have told you you need to get your head on straight, end the relationship and walk away.

 

On numerous occasions, *you* have also said: "I've decided I don't need this... I'm not gonna put up with it anymore because I do have self respect for myself and I deserve someone who will give me that respect that I deserve. I also don't need to put up with someone who tries to mess with my emotions."

 

So why, oh why, are you still pining and chasing after this guy?

 

He may be a "Pretty Boy," it may be heady and exciting to be involved with someone so "mysterious," or you may have been more "impressed" with your one night stand, than you know.

 

However, the fact remains, this guy is 35 years old, he acts like half his age, and *he is* hiding something from you.

 

It's your life. Lead it any way you want to.

 

However, you'd be best served by getting a grip on reality first, before you end up in a bigger emotional puddle than you already are.

 

Best,

TMichaels