BobSacamento Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Now who ever said dating was going to be easy?? Link to post Share on other sites
IcemanJB Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 OK bored this is like your 3rd ugly/unattractive thread Ive seen I'm callin you out boy!..lol post a pic and see what people have to say? you may be surprised.. who knows.. I was just going to say this. Come on OP, let's see it! Link to post Share on other sites
EllieBean Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 I once dated a guy who weighed 250 pounds, and had grey hair and thick glasses at the age of 28, as well as terrible eczema. But he was the life and soul of the party, he seemed nice and decent, and he was fun to be with, so I dated him. I admit I didn't find him attractive to begin with, but once I got to know his personality I changed my mind. After we dated for a while he became possessive and wanted to keep me all to himself, he got jealous over nothing, he was rude to my mother on a couple of occasions and did some stupid things... so I dumped him. But his looks had nothing to do with it: I dated him for his personality, and when his personality changed I dumped him. Being ugly doesn't prevent you from dating, it just means that it takes a bit longer for girls to see your inner beauty. Of course, if you don't have any inner beauty you're pretty much screwed, which is why I've said several times that the OP's problem isn't his looks, it's his attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
chrislovestosurf Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 you know some of you really blow me away with all this "once i talked to them they became attractive" crap. You are completely full of ****. Yes, it makes people more attractive when they are awesome people. I agree with that. But when you try telling me that you fell for someone that is really physically unattractive (TO YOU) after talking to them for a bit is a crock of ****. I am sorry but there needs to be a physical attraction first, stop bs'ing people. I go out, I see how cold it can be in the dating world, and Ive been on this earth for a long time now. People are both wonderful and extremely cold and judgemental beings. Unfortunately, if you are "unattractive" in a person's eyes youd better have some love potion #9 **** going for you if youre going to get them to fall for you. Link to post Share on other sites
EllieBean Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 It isn't BS. I don't need a good looking guy - what I need is a guy who will worship me and take care of me, a guy with above average intelligence who is going somewhere in life. I don't want some good looking retard who doesn't even read books, who has no idea who Nietzche is or why you can't travel faster than the speed of light - how can you have a lasting relationship with someone who you can't even have an intellectual conversation with? Equally, I don't want some guy who'll mess me around - I want to be treated like a princess, even if I have to compromise on the guy's looks in order to find someone like that. You can't have everything, and sometimes other factors are more important than looks... Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 you know some of you really blow me away with all this "once i talked to them they became attractive" crap. You are completely full of ****. Yes, it makes people more attractive when they are awesome people. I agree with that. But when you try telling me that you fell for someone that is really physically unattractive (TO YOU) after talking to them for a bit is a crock of ****. I am sorry but there needs to be a physical attraction first, stop bs'ing people. I go out, I see how cold it can be in the dating world, and Ive been on this earth for a long time now. People are both wonderful and extremely cold and judgemental beings. Unfortunately, if you are "unattractive" in a person's eyes youd better have some love potion #9 **** going for you if youre going to get them to fall for you. Believe what you want. There certainly more than a few people on LS who don't want to open their minds to alternate viewpoints. Anyhoo...Elliebean is right. There have been several times in my life when I ended up falling for someone who initially was not attractive to me in a sexual way. One guy I dated for 4 months. I knew him as an acquaintance for years. I never looked at him as a potential date. He was older than me, and slightly paunchy. However, he was very cool and incredibly artistic and talented. I never knew he had a long time crush on me until he admitted it. It made me look at him in a totally different way. When I got to know him, his passion for art made him even more attractive. We had a good run. Ultimately not the right guy for me, but that had nothing to do with looks. I wasn't the right girl for him either. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 I guess the first step is being self aware and instead of seeing it as an obstacle try to make it work for you in some way. For instance, I'm not much to look at, but I spent decades perfecting sexual technique. Never had a complaint really. It can be hard to overcome the 'first attraction' thing. People generally aren't attracted to me superficially, but I am easy to talk to, put people at ease, able to talk about a variety of things, and so on. Give me enough time with someone and I can bed them eventually. Confidence tends to overcome physicality in a good deal of cases. Not always though. I've been shot down a lot lately. And you know what? Don't care. It helps to keep in shape as well. Even if you have a face that doesn't fit in with 'traditional' beauty, you can keep your body in shape, and gain confidence from that. If you get a ripped body, and keep that 'no one wants me' mindset then guess what will happen? People will be drawn to your body and put off by your attitude. I can tell you what doesn't work: comparing yourself to others unfavorably around others. If you tell someone how big and 'ugly' you are, then guess what? That is what they see. You are planting the seeds. If you have something else to offer, you can downplay the negatives. If you don't draw attention to them, you can draw attentions elsewhere. Depression and poor self image is a bitch - I know it first hand. I was in my twenties before I could even bring myself to look people in the eyes and smile. I found that a smile did wonders. I had to literally practice. And so will you. You have to fake the 'happy guy with someone to offer' until you start to feel it. It won't be easy, but it can be done. Link to post Share on other sites
treyfan88 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Believe what you want. There certainly more than a few people on LS who don't want to open their minds to alternate viewpoints. Anyhoo...Elliebean is right. There have been several times in my life when I ended up falling for someone who initially was not attractive to me in a sexual way. One guy I dated for 4 months. I knew him as an acquaintance for years. I never looked at him as a potential date. He was older than me, and slightly paunchy. However, he was very cool and incredibly artistic and talented. I never knew he had a long time crush on me until he admitted it. It made me look at him in a totally different way. When I got to know him, his passion for art made him even more attractive. We had a good run. Ultimately not the right guy for me, but that had nothing to do with looks. I wasn't the right girl for him either. Must agree. Love is blind. Initially someone you find unattractive can become attractive to you if there's chemistry/love. You can have chemistry with someone who isn't your "type" at first glance. You can't base a potential relationship with someone SOLEY on what they look like! That's crazy! And somewhat superficial. I will sadly admit that I was quite superficial and would only date guys who were over 6ft with 6-packs. I was adamant about it. But then I realized that I was limiting myself--and once I was open to people with PERSONALITY and not just looks--I was happier AND more in love since the guys had more going for them than just their 6-packs. And "ugly" is such a relative term. Instead of harping on how bad you look, focus on the good things about yourself. If you're overweight, go to a gym! If you're not as muscled as you'd like to be, work out! If your fashion sense isn't doing much for your figure--get new clothes! Fitness and health will ALWAYS be attractive, regardless of what your face looks like. Take care of yourself and go with confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Spade Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Not only in terms of trying to find a partner but life in general. Especially livining in a world where looks and image is so important yet where it is important for people to deny that your appearance has an impact. In many parts of life being ugly has a big impact at work I find it difficult to have confidence because most other people there are much better looking than myself. I am very big and ugly. How do you deal with getting to know a member of the opposite sex, finding them to be wonderful then realising that nothing can ever happen because of the way you look. How do you deal with the vain people who like to tell you that looks don't matter ? I need help dealing with all of these issues. Well how ugly *really* are you? (not how much you *think* you are). I've moved all over the place and looking back over the years i've met very, very few genuinely, really ugly people, and I can't remember any one of them in particular. Sure, there are many people with unfortunate facial and body features, but at least some of that can be rectified. Anybody can lose weight, groom, and be all well put together... Link to post Share on other sites
wuggle Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 or why you can't travel faster than the speed of light... Apparently according to recent quantum theorists Einstein got it wrong and it is possible to travel faster than the speed of light, they think they have measured an effect 4 times the speed of light. Are there no absolutes ?? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 The potentials are as variable and limitless as the expanse of thought. Therein lies the essence of beauty and the dearth thereof. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 OP, you remind me of another ex-member, ManMaxwell. You might want to read his threads. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=154094&page=3&highlight=engineer Link to post Share on other sites
gopher Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 I try to avoid looking at myself in the mirror. Obviously I have to when I shave, but other than that, I avoid them. Also, I hate seeing pictures of myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 It isn't BS. I don't need a good looking guy - what I need is a guy who will worship me Women who say this kind of thing usually have the same insecurity issues as women who need a good looking guy. Being worshipped and being cherished are two different things! Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 As a woman, I do not care too much about how a guy look. To me the most important thing in a man his sexual ability. If you have a good stuff there women (not girls) will love you. Do not worry about rejections, everyone was rejected a lot. People reject others because of their personal internal reasons. There is a double standard for girls in dealing with men. I mean the good girls are not exactly supposed to say 'yes' easily. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BoredPerson Posted April 4, 2009 Author Share Posted April 4, 2009 what I need is a guy who will worship me and take care of me, a guy with above average intelligence who is going somewhere in life. Women really have no time for men who are struggling and trying hard to get somewhere. I had it rough and I'm working towards a goal but it is not good enough for women. I would never worship you and you can take care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 you know some of you really blow me away with all this "once i talked to them they became attractive" crap. You are completely full of ****. Yes, it makes people more attractive when they are awesome people. I agree with that. But when you try telling me that you fell for someone that is really physically unattractive (TO YOU) after talking to them for a bit is a crock of ****. I am sorry but there needs to be a physical attraction first, stop bs'ing people. I go out, I see how cold it can be in the dating world, and Ive been on this earth for a long time now. People are both wonderful and extremely cold and judgemental beings. Unfortunately, if you are "unattractive" in a person's eyes youd better have some love potion #9 **** going for you if youre going to get them to fall for you. Maybe thats just the kind of dating/social circles you hang out in? one were looks are EVERYTHING! it dose happen those are usually the people on their high horse putting every one else down thats not meant as a stab at you Chris plz don't take it that way.. Now that said I do agree to a degree looks do play a part but I just don't think its to the level your talking about Chris with every one all the time no exceptions... I'm not a hot chick by far I'm a larger women so I know that limits me to start off with. But I'm learning to be happy with myself despite that I'm sweet and caring and a good person so I try to go out and hang my head high and have confidence. I smile and acknowledge people in a friendly way and you know what? people are responding to it no hot dates yet lol. But I think if I can love myself 1st something that Ive lacked badly in the past then that will come in time. The OP here hates himself I can tell and hes loathing in self pity as a result at this point he could be brads Swedish brother and it just wouldn't matter he still wouldn't get a decent relationship I don't think. Link to post Share on other sites
Chicago_Guy Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Not only in terms of trying to find a partner but life in general. Especially livining in a world where looks and image is so important yet where it is important for people to deny that your appearance has an impact. In many parts of life being ugly has a big impact at work I find it difficult to have confidence because most other people there are much better looking than myself. I am very big and ugly. How do you deal with getting to know a member of the opposite sex, finding them to be wonderful then realising that nothing can ever happen because of the way you look. How do you deal with the vain people who like to tell you that looks don't matter ? I need help dealing with all of these issues. Are you aiming for girls out of your league? Hit the weights and dress well and that may make you feel more confident. I notice more women checking me out when I have a good work-out routine and am in good shape, and that definitely helps my self-confidence. The older you get, you'll notice that more and more guys seemingly caring about their appearance and basically let themselves go. If you're one of the guys who keeps in shape, many women will appreciate that. Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 I think all you need to do is lose some weight. You don't even have to get thin, just to the point where you look reasonably healthy. There ARE women out there who don't want to date someone very overweight, even if they will date someone who's otherwise unattractive. Link to post Share on other sites
nana yaw II Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I try to avoid looking at myself in the mirror. Obviously I have to when I shave, but other than that, I avoid them. Also, I hate seeing pictures of myself. why? again, like with the OP, your attitude may put people off. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 If you're big, lose weight. If you're ugly, get a new haircut, get some skin products (men do it now) and work on your muscle definition. Men can get away with ugly, as long as it's manly. Get a full length mirror and work on your posture. Don't slouch, stand tall and proud. This all sounds pretty sound Also work on a good education. The wise ugly, angry young man knows the best way to get revenge in this world is to make a lot of money. With money comes power. And by the time your my age a lot of the pretty boys will start to lose their prettiness and youll have more money and therefore youll have more power over women See how it works. Thats life. Thats all there is to it. So stop whining like a little wussy Link to post Share on other sites
Author BoredPerson Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 This all sounds pretty sound Also work on a good education. The wise ugly, angry young man knows the best way to get revenge in this world is to make a lot of money. With money comes power. And by the time your my age a lot of the pretty boys will start to lose their prettiness and youll have more money and therefore youll have more power over women See how it works. Thats life. Thats all there is to it. So stop whining like a little wussy I want my career so that I can improve my life and make lots of money. I don't think I want revenge on anyone. It is satisfying to see desperate lonely women on here now understanding that their beauty is fading and men will soon not be interested. Then they enter denial. I will focus on career which is what I should have been doing all along. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BoredPerson Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 why? again, like with the OP, your attitude may put people off. Women are stupid. They're wired differently to men. Why aren't there many female engineers or scientists ? Or managers of large companies ? Because women are not smart enough to do those jobs. A few are, and we should allow them to do whatever they want to do. But the rest are much better suited to mundane professions and administrative tasks. A woman would much rather be a pretty receptionist than a professional. Only society molds women, and women do exactly as they're told. Women are the smallers sex, they're designed for the express purpose of having children and thereby their main purpose is having sex with men. That is why men objectify women, because they exist primarly for sex. A woman is not supposed to be able to solve problems, or be useful she is designed to wait around for a man to get pregnant and to raise a child. She has just enough intelligence to collect berries. Obviously there is a need for some women to be intelligent and there are many intelligent women. Women who probably evolved to make sure the other women back in the cave don't walk off a clifff. But more often than not women fit into one of these stereotypes. As there are stereotypes for men only different kinds. The reason for all of this statement is to show you why you are making the ridiculous statement that you are making. That somehow 'looks don't matter'. The reason you are saying what you are saying is because you are a woman, and you do as you are told. Someone told you that is is they way it is so you believe it without question. Most people believe it so you think it must be true. Now you can decide to be intelligent, you can open your mind and try to learn or you can live in your ignoranace and continue to collect berries. Choice is yours. Become smarter. Or don'.t Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Choice is yours. Become smarter. Or don'.t ha ha ha.. I love your sense of irony. Brilliant! Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 ha ha ha.. I love your sense of irony. Brilliant! He's been attending the boxing123 school of dating. Link to post Share on other sites
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