Nikki Sahagin Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 ....every time I cry, every time I feel despair and complete hopelessness, I know he isn't right. ....every time I feel lonely and worthless and unloved, I know it's not right. ....every time I feel anger that I can barely contain I know it's not right. ....every time I can't eat, sleep, function at all - just cry and ruminate, I know it's not right.... but yet I just can't leave, I just can't escape. It's that ****er of a thing called love that convinces you even in the hell they put you through, that it will be okay, that love is rare and precious and meant to be hard, and if you just stick at it, it will be perfect and you'll get the happiness you deserve. Why can't you just turn feelings off when your mind knows what's best, but your feelings can always deceive you?
carhill Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 IMO, healing will occur when you examine "why" you feel all those mentioned feelings. Your truth exists within you. So does your strength. Find them
headlesschicken Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 no love doesn't make you feel those things. love doesn't make you hurt. love is kind. you are feeling desperation, low self esteem, low self worth, codependency, something--but it's not love.
kizik Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 I agree with headlesschicken. Love isn't torture, it's not terrible, it's not struggle and pain and misery. It's love. It's comfort, reliability, trust, fun, smiles, sex, joy, intellectualism, excitement, and total, total relaxation. If you're not feeling those things - it ain't love.
kizik Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 love is rare and precious and meant to be hard Rare and precious, perhaps. Meant to be hard? No way. That's what people tell themselves who feel stuck and want to call the abnormal, painful circumstances "love" as a way of attempting to justify their relationship. People always say, relationships are compromise. I agree with this, but the questions you must ask, Nikki, are as follows: Is the compromise even? Am I being pushed, stretched, pulled beyond what I want? Am I being "myself"? Am I happy? Love is everywhere. It's not with one "soulmate". It's not bending to someone's will. It's encouraging someone and being encouraged back. Mutual support and respect. Once these things are gone, so is love.
Mahatma Posted April 11, 2009 Posted April 11, 2009 Distinguish between love and attachment. You can find the exact same feelings you have now with someone else, PLUS love.
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