so what do you think?

[smile123]

I am currently in my second year of college, and there is a guy that I met who lives across the hall from me who I have become extremely close to. When I use the term "close," I do not mean it in a sexual or physical way whatsoever. We have become best friends and we have a great time together.

 

However, lately I've been noticing that he seems to be much more interested in me. In a way, I feel as though he's flirting with me a lot, but I'm not exactly sure if I'm reading into it too much or not. He calls me a lot and is constantly jokingly making fun of me. Also, I've noticed that oftentimes he tries to touch me (not inappropriately) whenever he has a chance when it wouldn't be awkward and it would "appear" as if he was kidding around. For instance, he'll place a hand on my shoulder or lean up against me when my friends and I are watching a movie for a minute, but he is always making it seem, like I said, that he is "joking."

 

Lastly, I should mention that I have a boyfriend whom I have been dating since my junior year of high school, and we are very much in love. My friend has met my boyfriend before, and I talk about him all the time, so it's not like he thinks I'm single and looking for someone to date.

 

So my question is, do you think he is interested in me, or that he just views me as a close friend? I am not interested in him as more than a friend even the tiniest bit, but I have been wondering as to whether or not he feels differently.

 

Also, at times I feel guilty because I feel as though I'm doing something wrong by being friends with him because he does act in this way sometimes, especially since I have a boyfriend who does not go to the same college as I do. However, as I said previously, he has become one of my closest friends here and I really enjoy his company. Should I feel guilty that my friend acts this way at times? I try to respond to his gestures by laughing it off or jokingly telling him to stop because I do not want to come across as mean. Advice would be greatly appreciated!

[smile123]

doesn't anyone have anything to say? some advice/thoughts would be greatly appreciated!

[WTRanger]

Also, at times I feel guilty because I feel as though I'm doing something wrong by being friends with him because he does act in this way sometimes, especially since I have a boyfriend who does not go to the same college as I do. However, as I said previously, he has become one of my closest friends here and I really enjoy his company.

 

You shouldn't feel guilty for being a friend to him. Plus that is what college and even more so, life, is all about. Meeting new people and making real connections with them. Feelings can be pesky, but they do happen. It's something that cannot be controlled.

 

Are you sure you aren't interested in him, even the tiniest bit? Seems to me, if you weren't interested in him you wouldn't be concerned what he thinks about you. Maybe it's deeper than you think or maybe it's not. If you told him all of this, are you ready for what could potentially happen? Are you willing to risk the friendship?

 

However, that being said. Does his touching or closeness bother you? During the movies, do his actions make you feel uncomfortable? If it does make you feel uncomfortable, then you might have to be mean to him and tell him. If you do nothing and his actions do make you feel odd, then you could create an explosive situation between the two of you that could sever the friendship forever.

[smile123]

Are you sure you aren't interested in him, even the tiniest bit? Seems to me, if you weren't interested in him you wouldn't be concerned what he thinks about you.

 

Well, I guess I've never really thought about if I might like him, even if it's only a small crush. I'm almost positive that I do not feel this way toward him, and that perhaps I like the attention he gives me? It's flattering to know that he may like me, but this does not mean that I would want the two of us to go date or anything of that type.

 

Does his touching or closeness bother you? During the movies, do his actions make you feel uncomfortable?

 

At times, his actions make me feel uncomfortable because I don't know how to handle it, but at the same time, I guess it's not that big of a deal as long as it's never inappropriate. Also, I definitely don't want to hurt our friendship if I ever bring that up, and it would most likely make it awkward as well.

 

Thanks so much for the advice! It definitely helped me to think about the situation!