Awesome84 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 What does it mean when a guy fishes for feedback? Like he wants to know if he's a good kisser.... Wants to know if I want to see him.... These are all general but I'd like your take on it because a guy friend and I kissed but we are trying to keep the relationship platonic... even though we are really attracted to eachother. Anyway... I have a strong feeling that he REALLY likes me and he tries to act all macho... which is why I was taken aback when he asked me these things. Guys??? Link to post Share on other sites
HappyAgain Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 He's really insecure and doesn't have much esteem if always needs feedback about himself. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I guess it depends on how often this happens. If it's not very often, why not give him compliments upfront, so he knows you appreciate what he does? If it's an incessant demand for validation, RUUUUUNNNNN!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Awesome84 Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 He's really insecure and doesn't have much esteem if always needs feedback about himself. That was MY take on it too! Crazy though... he always seems so confident (not in a bad way tho). It's always the ones that are macho... that are insecure.... maybe! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Awesome84 Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 I guess it depends on how often this happens. If it's not very often, why not give him compliments upfront, so he knows you appreciate what he does? If it's an incessant demand for validation, RUUUUUNNNNN!! Well we only kissed once... so this is the first time he's done something like this. I complement him on other things... like his smarts and creativness... One time I did this tho... it seemed like he thought I was lying or something and I was totally being serious. I'll take your advice tho... and make sure I notice if he keeps doing it. *****I do want to add something.... he kind of had a few drinks when he did it.... does THAT make a difference? I always had the notion that people say things when they are drunk that they want to say sober but don't have the guts to. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Well we only kissed once... so this is the first time he's done something like this. I complement him on other things... like his smarts and creativness... One time I did this tho... it seemed like he thought I was lying or something and I was totally being serious. I'll take your advice tho... and make sure I notice if he keeps doing it. *****I do want to add something.... he kind of had a few drinks when he did it.... does THAT make a difference? I always had the notion that people say things when they are drunk that they want to say sober but don't have the guts to. Patterns of behaviour are what to look for. If he's only done this once, time to step back from over-analysis. Just enjoy his company. Link to post Share on other sites
headlesschicken Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 it means he wants feedback. he wants to know these things to know how to proceed. maybe you unconsciously come off as standoffish or not very easy to read? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Awesome84 Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 maybe you unconsciously come off as standoffish or not very easy to read? Possibly! I'm trying not to LIKE him... even though I really do. I've been hurt alot so I am proceeding with caution. I just thought 'Do you think I am a good kisser' as the weirdest question because I've never been asked that before. Bad Kissers usually don't know they are bad kissers and Good Kissers usually know they are good kissers... He was an outstanding kisser!! It's been on my mind ever since. Plus he asked out of the blue... a week later! I guess what this is making me do is gauge how much he really likes me... cause like I said... I've been hurt before and I've tried to date a friend and it turned out bad. My thoughts are... Either A. He likes me alot... or B. He's alittle insecure. Link to post Share on other sites
belocchoc129 Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 I think he likes you a lot. A guy always puts his pride on top, he never asks sth that makes you think he's insecure. So if he asks those kind of questions, it's an obvious hint that he cares about your feelings, he wants to know how you feel. If you feel bad, he can make it better later on or sth. It's a good signal, good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
MN randomguy Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Yeah, he really likes you. Insecure a little of whether or not its going to work-out and let it slip out a little while drinking, but we all are a little insecure. WHy not date a friend? You want a guy that you know you get along with right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Awesome84 Posted April 6, 2009 Author Share Posted April 6, 2009 . WHy not date a friend? You want a guy that you know you get along with right? FEAR. Because I was friends with a guy for 8 years and he REALLY hurt me and messed me up..... It took me a long time to get over it. And this guy I haven't known for AS long.... but we have so much more in common than the last guy friend I dated. I guess I just want to be sure that he really likes me and isn't playing games. I find it alittle cute that he might be insecure about it and wants to know how I feel. I just didn't expect him to make himself that vulnerable. I'm still scared to put myself out there all the way though.... I did tell him he was a good kisser... I'm trying! Link to post Share on other sites
guitar23 Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Obviously every situation is 1000 times more complicated than can be described on here, but in my opinion I would say the chances are much greater that he "likes" you. If the kiss didnt mean anything to him, he wouldn't care if he was good or not. I know I've been drunk and kissed girls just playing around, and it didnt mean anything, so I wasn't too concerned with an "evaluation." If he brings it up again, that's definitely a sign that he either wants to kiss again, or atleast discuss what happened. If this happens, try playfully saying something like "I'm not sure, it was so long ago I can't remember if you were good or not..." Which gives him a big opportunity to make a move and ask if you need a reminder.... if he responds negatively you can let him know that you were just joking and you're safe either way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Awesome84 Posted April 6, 2009 Author Share Posted April 6, 2009 If this happens, try playfully saying something like "I'm not sure, it was so long ago I can't remember if you were good or not..." Which gives him a big opportunity to make a move and ask if you need a reminder.... if he responds negatively you can let him know that you were just joking and you're safe either way. I may try that one on him. Although I am pretty sure that he wants to kiss me again. But as I said... I've been hurt in the past and I don't want to be purely a physical conquest for him. Which is why I look for every little hint that he likes me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Awesome84 Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 Ok... so we kissed again last night and it led to more things. We still didn't go all the way but we wanted to. There were times during when we were going to but we'd stop. Now all the fear is coming back and I am scared. Scared of losing him as a friend and scared that this is all just a physical thing to him. :( I feel like we've gone too far. Link to post Share on other sites
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