Am I wrong for being so upset?

[amanvida]

So, I have this friend we'll say P for story's sake I would say I am really close with. We dated for a minute, it didn't really work out. We have slowly been re-kindling our friendship. Back story.

 

 

Present. Last night I received an invitation to meet up with said friend and a visitor he had from LA who was staying with him for the weekend. We met up at a bar for drinks and good times. They had been out and about drinking all day so were already pretty intoxicated when I met them. Everything was fine. I, being friendly, was making conversation with the visitor. I guess he perceived this as I showing interest in him. I got up to use the restroom where I guess he proceeded to ask P if it was ok to follow me downstairs as he was getting "signals" I was interested. He came downstairs and basically lunged himself at me. After a few attempts of saying I was not into it, I ran upstairs away from him. Freaked out, I gave P a huge hug and told him what happened. The man came from upstairs and says as he walks by "she's in love with you" where they both kind of laugh and P gets up and walks outside. I follow him and he basically reacted like it was no big deal. I gathered my things and hurriedly left.

 

About 40 minutes later I decide to return to talk to P. We are sitting outside and he told me he gave his friend the ok because it seemed like "we were getting along well" and that I am strong and should be able to take care of myself. WHY would I ever want some creepy ass dude to follow me into a dark basement of bar? As a friend of mine who is a male (though I am not saying because he is a male) I would think that he would try to look out for me from guys with ill-intention towards me. I was able to handle the situation, but I felt so ****ing disrespected. Because he knows me pretty well he also knows that I have been in situations in the past where there has been unwanted force upon me.

 

If this were two random guys who met some girl at a bar and tried to get further with her I could see the reaction being more normal. But this is I going into a situation I think is safe and with a really close friend and feeling completely violated by both of them. (Not to mention I am 21 - this guy was 35). What the hell do I do? P was not really willing to admit fault to the situation and just kept saying "I will think this is so silly tomorrow."

 

sdlkfjsf.

[WTRanger]

If I was a girl, and if I was in your spot, I would have pepper sprayed both of them. You have every right to be mad. Regardless of what your friend thought about his friend and you and the "signals" he should have never allowed him to follow you down to a dark area. You could be a quadruple black belt in the world's most deadly Kung-Fu, and you could kill me 100 times before I hit the ground but as a guy I would still feel obligated to somehow protect you.

 

I'd never talk or see the two of those people again. For your safety. What if something would have happened? What would your friend think then? Would he think it's funny?

[belocchoc129]

That was really annoyed when the one who offered those stupid signals was your friend. If I were him, I would immediately get on my knee to beg your forgiveness (though whatever signals gave out, this was really irrespected to do that with a female friend).

[EllieBean]

If P had simply given his friend the go-ahead to hit on you, that would be fine - he basically would say "I'm not into her so feel free to try your luck". The problem is that this guy followed you into a dark place and made you feel physically threatened. I'm sure P didn't intend for his friend to scare you and (sounds like) attempt to physically assault you, and when you ran upstairs he may not have realised right away what had happened. Afterwards he may have felt guilty and defensive because of what his friend did. But the other creep is really at fault here, not P. Perhaps the other guy was drunk and didn't realise he was being pushy and scaring you?