Boyfriend of nine years been lying only about woman

[ATJNL]

Hi everyone,

I came here looking for some others insights on what has just happened in my life. Well the begining well I already had one child when I meet him and was very independent.I am 31 years old and he is going on 36. We have been together for nine years in aug. Well the problem I have now is that forever in our relationship, except for in the begining, I have found out that he has been lying to me on a everyday basis. I really have always known now that I really think about it. But the only things he has been lying to me about is his relationships with other women. For 5 years evertime I would ask if he worked with women or who he talked to at work he would say theres no women, only older ladied, or women who could be his mother. Finally like I said I pressed it enough that he popped and said yes of course he works with women...lol...no...really?!?...Stupid! So this did not matter it was out because everytime I would ask him a question about any women or what they talked about he would tell me I am insecure, or I must have a problem with his work..etc...Well he would always do this flip end conversatiuons unless it suited him. They he would say there must be something wrong with me I said really why all people flirt...its normal.....My thing is well i pressed him enough again and now the whole truth is out...Hes been a liar about everything, was showing other specific women the attention they deserved but never had any regrads towards my feelings. What sucks the most is that one of the woman knows me and I know her and I hate her and went to school with her she knows hes with me and shes married. So like I said hes been the one to make me cry and disregruard my feelings...He told me know that it is because I always made him top priority, so he was out to fill his own needs....So I say how could he really want me know, when he knew what he was doing and I was never in his needs or wanted my attention the other women were more important except that he wanted me to want him...but only care about giving honesty and attention..and being there for other women....even when he knew how I felt...and when I worked and flirted they were never secret relationships..I always came home and told him everything what I said what they said..etc...We have three children together and 4 alltogether..I have stayed home for him and our children for 4 years and I have done nothing but lived my whole 9 years for pleasing him....I now realize why...he has never wanted me...He said it was because he was to selfish and consumed in his own needs...but to me I think thats how we all should be in a sense because I was to and I always wanted him to fill my needs...and strived for it regardless of how many times he knocked me down by continully lying.....Please would love any insight...I know my words are alittle scambled but really this is really hard to deal with...yet I feel i have always known.....thats why i kept pressing the issue about women....I hate knowning that the top one is someone i went to school with and she knows hes my man....He says oh no i did never want them sexually....But he and her went threw all the motions...smiling...going forward to talk with each other..hand gestures touching of the arms..hands...shaking hands..get real managers do not have to shake hands everyday......taking lunch breaks together regulary....tell me what you think ...was it in any way sexual? So know he says i have opened his eyes even though he says he knew what he was doing...so i say if i have never been want he wanted to fill his attention or needs and wants how can he even say that know....I only had him for a year....well the attention...they I was the one decieved lied to and disregarded as feelings

 

thanks for any advice in advance