lovestruck Posted October 14, 2003 Share Posted October 14, 2003 I am 5'7 and 110 pounds and If you look at me i am fairly skinny but i never thought anything of it until people started making comments like I was at a wedding and I ate half the food on my plate and I was full. Sometimes i eat alot sometimes i dont. well The people sitting by me who i didnt know very well started making comments when stupid me I said out loud to my self "I"am full " and they heard me and were like WHAT and they started saying things like how can you be full and did you eat before you came blah blah finally they relized they were making me very uncomfertable and stopped then after I left the table they were wispering to each other And stoped when I looked their way. Also my Brothers Friend said some comments to me like I need to gain weight, and said TO me you throw up too dont you? people always are watching me when i eat to see how much I eat and To see if i go to the restroom when I am finished. I dont know what to say to them. Recently I have gained weight but i can still feel people talking and they still make comments to me. has this sort of thing happend to anyone here any one who can relate what do I tell them ? Link to post Share on other sites
Holly Posted October 14, 2003 Share Posted October 14, 2003 Yes, I can relate. I think that people find harping on someone's weight to be socially acceptable as long as the person under scrutiny is on the light side of the spectrum. No one would be as quick to verbalize a comment if an overweight or obese person was eating "too much" in their opinion, simply because it is viewed by all as more of an insult. Being thin in our society is more of an asset than a problem or a negative attribute, so I think people feel justified in making rude comments about a thin person's eating habits or the like. Somehow people assume that all thin people have eating disorders. Many people are simply shocked that you could stay thin if you eat a regular diet. Some others are simply jealous, or just plain rude and nosy. My advice would be this. Next time someone tries to belittle you, or comment negatively (or even just mention it in passing), I would assertively say, "I don't comment on your weight, so please be respectful of me as well. My weight and my eating habits are really no one's business but my own. But I appreciate your concern" or something of that nature. Just let people who do this, know: you are offended by their intrusive and invasive comments, that are really quite personal. You are not obligated to answer any question like this either! Some people just need to know when to hold their tongues. And as for gaining weight. Eat however you feel is right for your body's needs, your activity level and the like. If you choose to gain weight, fine. If you choose not to gain weight, fine too. If it just happens, fine! My point is, never allow who you are, be it your physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual self, to be degraded by anyone else! You are you. You happen to be naturally very thin. And so what? There is sooo much more to you than that. Don't let other people's idiotic comments bring you down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovestruck Posted October 15, 2003 Author Share Posted October 15, 2003 thanks I will use your advice the nextime someone has anything to say Link to post Share on other sites
heather&theboyz Posted October 18, 2003 Share Posted October 18, 2003 I can definitely relate-I'm about your size and all I heard from my southern family when I was growing up was "Don't they EAT in Colorado?" Luckily my younger half sister came along and proved up about the genetic tendency as she is thin, too. I couldn't agree more about not letting these cretins get to you. No one knows your body like you do and as long as you are healthy and happy they can stuff their opinions. It has taken years and a couple of nasty incidents but even my old-fashioned southern belle grandmother has let up on me about it (haven't heard a comment in YEARS now). And I don't know your age but as I'm hitting my 30's now I've filled in some here and there which helps, too. In this age of picture perfect models and beautiful people plastered everywhere I think some concern from family and very close friends is natural, especially for younger people. People seldom know how to express this concern without coming off as the weight police, though. Some polite "bugger off" talk is appropriate for those not so polite inquiries but I must say if there is someone who harps on you constantly about it (grandma) something a little more forceful may be appropriate. I finally told grandma that until she could accept me as the person I am without commenting on my weight (or lack thereof) every time I saw her, I wasn't speaking to her anymore. I got up and left the house and the pursuant phone conversation later that day was the last time my weight was discussed at all between us. She told me she just loves me and "you don't look healthy" and I told her I'm as healthy as an ox and you're driving me freaking crazy so you just have to shut up about it. Don't let anyone rail on you constantly, it's unacceptable. And realize that their opinions are ill-informed and they are acting out of their own ignorance, though their love for you is the driving force and that is commendable. You just take care of yourself and even the hardcases eventually will come to terms with you for YOU and not your body type... Link to post Share on other sites
StoryOfaGirl Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 I don't think you should let it get to you. Maybe you just get full easy... Link to post Share on other sites
cenilla Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 well, I am 5'4" 94lbs, People tell me that I am too skinny, but they also tell me that I eat "too mcuh", my friends:"it seems you are eating all day long, whenever I see you, you are eating, I cant believe such a little body can take so much food..." and my coworkers: "gosh, is this your lunch? are you going to eat dinner, too? " Of course, i am going to have my dinner, still have room for it!!! So, eat more or less, people always have somthing to say. who cares! as long as i am comfortable with myself. Listen to your body's need, not people's talk Link to post Share on other sites
The Velvet Vixen Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 I'm 5'4, 100lbs, and I've always been thin. I've tried to gain weight, but since I usually don't have too much of an appetite, I haven't been successful. Though I would prefer to weigh a bit more, I'm happy with the way I look now, so I never allow anyone to make me feel ashamed of my weight. My mother has always given me grief about how little I weigh, but after I told her it was wrong to constantly hound someone about their weight she let up a bit. I have a friend who is approximately my height and weight, but goes on crash diets occasionally to maintain her size. At every available opportunity, she used to try her best to make me feel bad about my weight, deliberately mocking me with a menacing look in her eyes. I firmly told her that my doctor said I am healthy, I am happy with the way I look, and if my weight increases that's fine, but I would NOT become obsessed with it. After that, the comments stopped. People don't seem to get that some people are just naturally slender, whether the cause is genetics or body type. I hate how people assume that if you are thin, you must be deliberately starving yourself or throwing up your food. Worse, they feel it's acceptable to make rude comments about thin people (even on TV), and call them demeaning names such as "stick figures," whereas no one would think it's OK to laugh at larger people and compare them to elephants. I think the obese people who make these comments should know better, because they know how it feels to be disparaged for a quality that can be all but impossible to control. People should be able to love and appreciate themselves without needing to put others down. Link to post Share on other sites
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