curious Posted October 14, 2003 Share Posted October 14, 2003 I've been through a situation similar to many others - becoming interested in a friend, and then having the friend not return the interest. Now I went through many of the things that other people on this forum have in this situation - feeling lost, helpless and having to see the other person. There were several times that I thought about separating myself from my friend, but she made a great effort to make us closer. So, it was nice for a time, speaking to her every day, etc. I've become mostly comfortable (still a twinge, but very manageable) with not being with her and her seeing other people. However, the one problem is that she's not trustworthy. When I first broached the topic of getting together, she was hesitant, then immediately went off with another guy - she lied about it at first, then told me about it afterwards. She's known to lie and do things that she wants to do even if it hurts other people. Also, there are times when I feel that my friendship with her isn't really a friendship and that she just enjoys the attention that i give her. In any case, I have this feeling that I would be better off without her. she pisses me off with her lies and i hate the nagging suspicion of being used. i'm not totally free of my feelings for her, but i'm definitely not hopelessly attached to her. I would say that i could live without her just fine and that i may even be happier without her. however, i feel guilty when i think about cutting her off because she has done nice things for me and i think that she may care for me as a friend. we also share the same group of friends, so it may become awkward if i overtly ignore her. so, i was thinking of doing the slow fadeout.... not contacting her at all.... being civil when she contacts me..... not making any plans with her.....etc, etc. just wondering what people thought of this. Link to post Share on other sites
slid3r Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 If you are sure you can let go of her then just move on...its the best thing to do. The "slow fadeout" tactic sounds good to me. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
lipglossboost Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 Slow fadeout is probably the best idea ... perhaps she will realize that she lost someone who really cared about her, and she may come around when she realizes how selfish she's been acting. I had to do this with a friend of mine, (I call it "gardening",) and it worked. They realized their mistakes and now the friendship is better than ever! Hope you have the same luck. ~Lexi Link to post Share on other sites
VASH THE STAMPEDE Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 I will have to third that fade out.Its better to move on, rather than deal or suffer with the consequences it reeks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author curious Posted October 18, 2003 Author Share Posted October 18, 2003 thanks for the advice! i'm embarking on it right now.... i'm not sure what i want or what will happen, but i hope that i can follow through on it. Link to post Share on other sites
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