My girlfriend's best friend hates me ... she says my girlfriend has to choose!

[lipglossboost]

My girlfriend that I just got back together with has a friend that hates me. I've never even spoken to this friend, but she has a strong dislike for me, for some reason. Upon hearing that my girlfriend and I were getting back together, she told my girlfriend she had to choose ... her, or me!

 

The worst part is, my girlfriend let this friend live with her because she lost her job. She has since found a new one but won't pay my girlfriend any rent, but says she's now going to move out, and I am not to come over while she is still living there. My girlfriend says she feels like a prisoner in her own home. (She has 2 young daughters and cannot often get away in the evenings to go out or come visit me at my place.)

 

I am trying SO HARD not to trash-talk her friend, because I do not want my girlfriend to feel any more stressed out or caught in the middle than she already does. I did gently point out that this "friend" was not acting like a friend to her, and that it is unhealthy for her to feel trapped in her own home.

 

What else can I do?? I miss my girlfriend and I am "banned" from going to see her by this psycho friend ... my girlfriend told her friend that she will not let her force her to choose, and if she is willing to let me come between them than that is her choice, her loss .... anyone have experience with this?? Is there anything I can do to help the situation, or make my girlfriend feel better?? I told her that her friend may come around, in time. She says she doesn't think she will, and says her friend is very stubborn.

[monkey00]

FIRST off, has there ever been a reason for her hating you that MUCH other than your previous breakup, if not then I think she's just one of those psycho obsessed people that like to interfere in other people's business

 

um..Has the thought ever occured to you that her friend might be a lesbian?? thats the first thought that came to my mind.

 

Well anyway, I think you three should all sit down and find out what the real problem is.

Here are some possibilities imo:

 

Her friend dislikes you because she's worried about her friend and that you might cause her pain by breaking up a second time

 

" " " " " She is very close to your girlfriend, and enjoys her company a lot, while in the meantime you're going out with her..maybe because of this, she feels lonely causing envy and jealousy.

 

Through Jealousy and envy that she might be feeling because she doesnt have much friends or a BF, and acting selfishly on her own part because she doesnt want you two to have what she DOESNT or NEVER had.

 

..and last but not least, she's just a plain ol' grumpy person

[lipglossboost]

I think she may be jealous and feel threatened by the relationship. It was nothing serious before, my girlfriend wanted a serious relationship and I wasn't ready yet and did not lead her on, then I was ready and she wasn't and now we both are.

 

I have literally *never met* this "friend" ... so I can't conceive why she would dislike me so much .. *shrug*

 

The friend is engaged, so she's not a lesbian or lonely ...

[monkey00]

Have you tried talking this over w/your gf??

 

I think she should have a better understanding as to why her friend is acting this way against this relationship

[lipglossboost]

She was able to talk to her. Her friend says she's not happy about it, but will try to accept her decision and keep an open mind. I have to admit I am nervous about her friend trying to cause problems in our relationship, but I just keep thinking that I if I do everything I can to be a good partner and friend, if this "friend" does interfere, at least I will know that I did everything I could.