ariane Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I have been dating my bf for 4.5 years, I'm just about to turn 25 and he is 28. We have a great and loving relationship, amazing communication, and we are best friends. The thing is, I have been waiting for him to propose for about a year and a half now, and I don't know how long to wait. We first looked at rings two years ago, and originally had talked about getting married in the end of 2008. That got pushed off until summer 2009, then January 2010, and now we are talking about how maybe we'd be able to do it in May 2010 (each time our hypothetical planning got pushed back it was because he didnt feel ready). We talk about the future, and last November he said he felt ready to get engaged finally, but still nothing has happened. He knows that I am ready, but I feel like he doesn't realize how hard it is for me to be waiting. I try to be patient but I just don't understand why he is waiting anymore. It isn't finances or anything like that, we are both set in terms of jobs and education. My big question really is, how long do I wait? How do I know when it goes from 'he'll do it soon' to 'it's never going to happen'. I keep thinking that it'll be any day, but I've felt that way for almost six months. How long can that go on before it really just means that he'll never want to propose? Sorry this got so long, I'm just really frustrated with this whole situation. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 What I am hearing is that things are going really well in your relationship, you have strong communication and lots of love for one another. He just doesn't happen to be ready to get married yet. I would totally lay off any talk of marriage- don't bring it up, don't mention rings. You'd be surprised what can happen when the pressure is off the table. My girlfriend was with a guy for 3 years and she wanted to get married so badly- like your guy, he played with the idea and put it off. The more she pushed, the more the talk of marriage was on the table, the more he rebelled. She completely pulled back- started seeing her friends more and stopped bringing it up. He proposed within 6 months. Link to post Share on other sites
Victoria2 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 If you really love him , you will waiting! You have good relationship so go on, and don't give up. And ask him , may be that be your answer, because here , we can't tell you more than that! I think is better to ask him ! Link to post Share on other sites
parky1969 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Here's my advice: easy to say but difficult to do... 1.you have GOT to make it clear to your boyfriend that you are a busy, interesting, sexy woman on a mission. Your mission is to have a great & fulfilling life. If he doesn't move his ass, he might just lose you. 2. This does not mean threatening to pack your bags...but you must find happiness and fulfillment in your OWN company. Find the self confidence and self-belief to know that you are WORTHY of being pursued by him. Be you own woman, full of kindness to him but also make it clear that you know the world is your oyster and that wonderful things await you and he'd better pick up his skates and get a move on to keep up with you and your happiness. 3. Whenever I see couples together in a routine they think "we better take the next step"..that's a comfortable and natural desire but if the love and DEVOTION isn't there for you during the EASIEST time of your lives...well it how is he going to love and care for you during the most difficult times??? And vice versa also. My advice; find happiness and self confidence in your own company. Have direction and goals that he is welcome into but if he doesn't follow, then maybe better things await you with someone else. http://player.video.news.com.au/news/#_aQQL6CacvmRYkXr3mNWtSpLMB_fgpz8 Link to post Share on other sites
zoe1983 Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 Well im 25 and my boyfriend is 24. We have been together for about 3 and a half years and even though we both agreed we wanted to marry each other after like the first year and a half we just recently got engaged about a month ago. He had just finished telling me that he wanted to buy a house before we got engaged and then bam he proposed! Although I am glad I waited it out...I have to admit I had my moments of doubt that he was just leading me on. I have seen a lot of women on here suggest that you come up with a mental deadline. Not a date that you tell him but a date you have in your head. It could be six months from now or two years from now but that date is the longest you are willing to wait to be engaged. If he hasn't asked you by then....try to move on and know that there is always going to be a guy that cant wait to marry you and feels like the luckiest man in the world just because you agreed to be his wife! You deserve nothing less! Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 He may be putting you off because you are fixated on it. Been there..it sucks. I'm sure he knows you, and how much you want to get married. Maybe he is waiting for the right time/moment? He may have something special planned, you don't know! I know it feels like he is leading you on, but I highly doubt he is. Would it make you feel better if he told you when he was going to propose? Link to post Share on other sites
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