love4ever Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 We started to relationship oddly 350 miles from where actually first met (high school). We're been in an LDR for 3 years or so in which we were 4 hours apart from each other while I was at school. At least hear we both had our own place and had to answer to nobody. I thought that was hard.....wow, was I mistaken to think it would be a little easier once I moved back in with my parents until I finished a different degree (whole another story). In the back of my mind I knew it would more difficult living with my parents, due to their strictness (mind you I'm in my mid 20's) but I hoped due to the encouragement of my optimistic bf that it would be okay. Nope, it is not and I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. I've tried to be patient but I'm frustrated, upset and just pissed. Living with my parents we are now within two hours of each other which is huge improvement distance wise. First obstacle: My two jobs. I work for my parents (very stressful) at a sort of boarding home for psychiatric patients and I work a second job. I do two jobs b/c since i've been out of school I have to pay for my private and federal loans. So once I'm back in school I can quit but for now I have to keep it. This lives me with like no time to myself. Weekends are best to see my bf b/c he works M-F but at one job I work every weekend and the other is every other. Second obstacle: My parents. My parents love me very much and they aren't horrible people but they are impossible at times. In the past I have fustrated them w/how school has turned out, being still in school and still having to live at home. I've pretty much been a big disappointment achievement wise especially being the oldest. When I first came home (which was before the second job) I went to see my bf every time I had the chance(1-2x a week). They complained saying I don't have a realiable car, its not safe driving at night...yada yada. So I cut back by half so I wouldn't have to hear their b*tching. They still lectured me that you have to think about your future, and getting a career. Mind you, I'm not in school yet but was working on it. The main hangup was getting a transcript from my past school, but since I owed them I need the second job to pay them back at the same time paying my other loans. Then I cut back to twice a month (mind you my bf visits me here too but their is more freedom at his apartment vs. my parents house) b/c thats all the time I have. When I do see him I usually spend the night and they have a compalint to me about that. Saying you should never sleep at another man's house, my father went as far as to quote "Why buy the cow when the milk is free" Sh*t to me. Mind you I don't live with the guys and DO NOT plan on doing so until I married. This is the absolute last straw for with them. I am damn adult, never mind I live with them and this is my damn business as far I'm concerned. My parents are from anothe country so respect of your parents/elders is a very important thing. Last couple of weekend have been a bust. Usually I see my bf on a sat after work and for once I got out 2 hours earlier than usual so we planned a whole day or stopping at a motel/hotel and whatnot. Then he ruined it but going to do paperwork for a new car that same morning. Anyone that has bought a car knows its not an hour or two process. He did need the car b/c earlier in the week his car became unrepairable....but I wish he told me earlier that he planned to do it on our day. Now this Sat I'm getting out early again and planned a great day and he has to help his day with some yardwork! Iwas just so damn mad I didn't saying anything to him on the phone as I silently cried about my frustration. I mean couldn't he have told his father he has plans! And asked him to do it on Sunday. Overall I'm drained. Drained from the two jobs, my parents, this LDR. I'm trying not to give up b/c once I get this degree I can get the job I need, we can start a life together and I'll be happier. Sometimes I just can't take it. End vent. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Gah, I can totally relate, especially the parents! Do yours happen to be religious or have some form of Asian upbringing by any chance? I think you should have an honest, heartfelt talk with your bf. About how you've been planning and waiting and arranging for that two days a month that you have. And about how disappointed you are that he cancelled. If it was me, I would have asked him if it was possible to help his dad on Sunday etc... all those things you're posting here, basically. I hope it gets better soon, and good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author love4ever Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 No, they're from West Africia.....all parents outside of this country seem to be stricter which can be good but mostly bad for the children. =-~ I didn't say anything b/c he said he had no way out of it.....but still makes me queston if he asked to move it to another day at least. So instead of having 12 or so hours or him I'll get half that....hopefully. I really haven't been feeling him this past week. *sigh* http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t185137/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author love4ever Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 Any other thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 A bit of a devil's advocate question here. You say the hold-up to getting into school now is getting a transcript from your old school. Have you done that yet? How long has it taken you to do this? Honestly, it shouldn't take you over a week to put in the request and have one mailed to you or to your new school. It sort of seems from the limited info we have here that you have been waiting a bit to get accepted into this new school, if you have had the time to go out and get a second job (I assume getting the job with your parents was easy). Link to post Share on other sites
Author love4ever Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 A bit of a devil's advocate question here. You say the hold-up to getting into school now is getting a transcript from your old school. Have you done that yet? How long has it taken you to do this? Honestly, it shouldn't take you over a week to put in the request and have one mailed to you or to your new school. It sort of seems from the limited info we have here that you have been waiting a bit to get accepted into this new school, if you have had the time to go out and get a second job (I assume getting the job with your parents was easy). I owed them since last August and have just sent the last $400 payment to the collection company. The collection company has to communicate that to my school b/c it still shows a balance on my account. So once that is done it'll be as simple as you say. I'm accepted into the school, I just can't sign up for classes until they review all the transcripts from all the schools. So next month I'll be taking an intro to nursing course so they can evaluate me for their nursing program. So overall I needed the second job to pay off the prior balance with my last school and to pay my two loans untill I start school at least half time again. I didn't want to make a humongous post with my life story in it. I figured I'd answer any holes i left when people asked, like you have. Thanks;) Link to post Share on other sites
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