Does the Trust come back after a walk-away wife?

[Alan430]

I feel like i will not be able to trust another women with marriage again.

 

Does this change over time?

[mark982]

for me it took YEARS,and in some ways i still don't trust present wife, even though she's never givin me a reason not to.

[PWSX3]

It takes a lot of work

[Gunny376]

Most of us men? We can tell you in explicit detail our "dream car" but yet fail to put any thought as to what we're looking for in a life-mate?

 

We believe in the fallacy ~ lie of "the one" when no such person exists? We believe in "star-struck lovers, and that we're destined to be together forever and ever (or so say 'Hollyweird")

 

The fact of the matter is? Relationships are way too easy to get into, can be difficult to maintain and as all too many have found out can be difficult to get out of?

 

The problem for most of us? Both men and women? But most especially men, is that in our youth we don't have the experience to know what we're not looking for.

 

But after we go through a marriage/separation/divorce you can bet the ranch that we've got a real clear and pretty picture in our heads.

 

But this betrays us as well! Because we go 180 of what of what we were involved with and/or married to. But given time we get tired of that as well.

 

For men (and the opposite is true for women) ~ women aren't anything but "trouble" and most of them are more trouble than they're worth. That is to say that most are just a waste of time, effort, energy and money.

 

The solution to the problem ~ and answers to questions ~ lay within yourself. You've got to come up with a crystal clear definition of who and what your about, what your life is about, what your passionate about.

 

What to put in and what to leave in, and what to take out? What are your boundaries, and what are your goals. What you will stand for? What you will put up with ~ and what you won't put up with!

 

You've got to learn to love and respect yourself! For if you don't ~ there's not a person on the planet that will.

 

I would advise that you take this time to learn how to be comfortable in your own skin? To be comfortable with your own company ~ to learn how to be comfortable living single and alone.

 

That's not to say its easy ~ its not ~ especially once you've been in a LTR ~ but it is learn-able and 'do-able"

 

What you get from that is you learn that the World isn't going to end, that the sun is going to rise if you don't have any one particular person in your life.

 

The graveyard if full of people that we just can't do without. But somehow the Sun still rises each morning at 'o'dark thirty' and the World continues to turn despite our broken hearts?

 

What that gives you is strength! And confidence to be able to turn and walk away from any given person while telling them ~ "You know what? This isn't working! I don't need nor do I have to put up with your crap! Have a nice life without me!"

 

Because you KNOW you weren't born with this person in your life, you did just find before you meet them, and By God your going to do just fine without them ~ because you've been there before! "This ain't the first time this old cowboy's been thrown off a horse!"

 

The solution to your problem is dump and get rid of all the BS Holly-weird/Cultural/Societal projections as to what is and isn't suppose to be.

 

There's the way things are? And the way things are suppose to be? Somewhere in the middle is a little thing I like to call reality!

 

The reality of the situation is that there's no shortage of men nor women!

 

The reality of the situation is that there's an infinite supply of potential mates!

 

The reality is you need to get your head and @ss wired together, figure yourself out, get you act together, keep it together and make damn sure that you keep it for real!

 

And that starts with being honest with and about yourself!!

 

This really is a great time for you ~ because you've got time to figure all of that out? Where am I in my life, where do I want to go? Where do I want to be 5, 10, 20, 30 years from now?

 

Its time to do some 'spring cleaning' of the mind?

 

To answer the question?

 

Yes its possible ~ BUT your going to have to quit being a fool like I was and get yourself back into school and un-learn and re-learn a whole of things that you thought were true!

[skinman]

Great post Gunny... I will say it again you are the MAN !!!... I have learned so much from your words of wisdom my friend and I hope to continue doing so........ God bless ya buddy !!!