Suddenly bored

[Crash 9000]

So ever since I was 3 and got my playstation gaming has been my life... 12 years later I turn my xbox on, play some Call of duty 4, 2hours in I am bored like never before. So I go play some counter strike... Bored.

Go outside, bored... Now I'm sure by now you get the gist of what I'm saying. Just doing the same thing every day, all day (Yes I do mean ALL day, not any of this 5hours a day stuff, or 8hours... about 12hours )

Suddenly bores me to the point where I go to sleep, and I have been sleeping for about 14hours a day over the last few days. Any ideas on anything I should do?

 

The thing is, that everything I've done has gotten boring in an instant. And now I've got a freegin' stomach ache and headache ffs

 

And sorry for the grammar, which looks fine to me but I'm really tierd... despite being up for only like 4hours now, so theres bound to be a sentence or two which is like

[somedude81]

Do you have a girlfriend, any friends? Any hobbies that you enjoy doing? Any activity that you look forward to? A reason to get up in the morning?

[Crash 9000]

Do you have a girlfriend, any friends? Any hobbies that you enjoy doing? Any activity that you look forward to? A reason to get up in the morning?

 

Nope, well I've got like the one friend I talk to alot of the day... On the internet, via headset. Erm well the only hobbies I've ever done was the gaming, and paintball which I'm not even awake during the day to do + I do no exercise so when I did go, my running speed was... yeah

(Yes im nocturnal)

 

Reason to get up, erm... No not really, just wake up at like 8pm ish go to sleep some time in the morning.

 

I would of liked to start getting into 40k again (them model thingys) but I get too annoyed at the fiddely repetition of it

[somedude81]

Your response was kind of what I was expecting. You are exhibiting some signs of depression. Not having any real friends is not healthy.

 

Why are you nocturnal? Humans are diurnal (opposite of nocturnal). We need sun light and regular sleep patterns to be healthy and happy.

 

So here is my suggestion. If you don't have a reason to be nocturnal try to get your body to sleep during the night. You may also want to look into some counseling. I don't know how things work in the UK but your parents insurance should be able to cover it or maybe you can find a low cost option.

 

Since you enjoy paintball. Do it more often. Try to join a squad or something. Maybe get a job at a range?

 

You need to do activities that you enjoy doing. Things you can do with other people are preferred.

 

Anyways it's 11:30 where I'm at so I'm going to bed. Good luck

[Crash 9000]

Your response was kind of what I was expecting. You are exhibiting some signs of depression. Not having any real friends is not healthy.

 

Why are you nocturnal? Humans are diurnal (opposite of nocturnal). We need sun light and regular sleep patterns to be healthy and happy.

 

So here is my suggestion. If you don't have a reason to be nocturnal try to get your body to sleep during the night. You may also want to look into some counseling. I don't know how things work in the UK but your parents insurance should be able to cover it or maybe you can find a low cost option.

 

Since you enjoy paintball. Do it more often. Try to join a squad or something. Maybe get a job at a range?

 

You need to do activities that you enjoy doing. Things you can do with other people are preferred.

 

 

Well since I have no need to stay up during certain hours I stay awake during least stressfull hours... Which since it is least stressfull because no one else is awake, I guess isn't good

 

Hmm well I did only become nocturnal again like 2 weeks ago, I was staying awake during the day but then with my only communication in the real world being arguments I thought that anti-socialising is worse than not socialising at all. Yeah I do go to a counseller, all free (Something to do with the NHS, or because of my age or something) Yet they don't do anything, just bla bla bla about how im awake during the night and how my social skills are low, so I guess I'll just get the prescription for anti-depressants then stop going, half an hour drive for an hour of talking about stuff I already know isn't my idea of help

 

 

Well I was intending to go paintball sunday assuming I was awake at the time, yet with the driving and the physical exhaustion and the cost and the so on, I think I'll just go to pizza hut instead.

[Eve]

It may be good to change the position of the outlook you are currently adopting. Presently all you have said comes from the position of being an observer, which is relevant but I would say that you need to participate more in things and let yourself go a bit.

 

When I initially read what you said about being into games, I wondered how good you are. I really enjoy puzzle/fantasy type games and must admit to being pretty good. If I were not already established in a career and could do anything I wanted I think I would like to test out new games. Its pretty well paid you know. How about getting into something like that? If you like being inside the house etc maybe you should go with that and see what happens? We are not all social butterflies and I dont think it altogether healthy to try and force ourselves to be if we are not of that nature. My eldest daughter for example rarely leaves the house unless its for stuff she has to do. Her thing has always been films and being with friends/family. This may seem boring to others but she is totally happy in herself and will be studying the marvelous art of film at Uni this Autumn.

 

You have to find what you are good at and do it.

 

I dont know how old you are but I often hear my teens moan about being bored and I dont tolerate it much. Back in the day people made their own fun, nowadays its like everyone wants entertainment to come to them! Forget that honey, you may be waiting a long, long time. Make what interests you come to life. There is just SO much that you can get involved in if you put some effort in and direct yourself. Gosh, there are endless possibilities! Just SO much! You just have to work it out and stop being so whiny.

 

I dont know if you are depressed or something but I would say that it could be that you need to introduce new paths into daily happenings and give more of yourself.

 

.. I hope that you get bored enough to seek out new things soon because really you are wasting precious time when you could be doing something different... which can lead to something even more interesting... Thats life!

 

Simple as.

 

Take care,

Eve xx

[Crash 9000]

Errr well I'm a little above average, a little so I guess im dreadfull considering the time I put in it.

 

Yup I have thought of game testing, but it would ruin the whole enjoyment aspect, having to write down what goes wrong and playing a really glitchy game.

 

Lol, yup I always used to feel sorry for all the teenagers being bored constantly... But now im one of them, its really bloody annoying.

 

Well it's not like I haven't thought of like every possibility, But about 99.99% of things are short term, they just don't interest me. Methinks that spending such a long time focused on only the one thing makes me kinda obsessive only caring about doing one thing with an odd short term boredom fix every now and then, not just loads of short term fixes.

It's not like I go complain to everyone that I'm bored, I be bored in my own space

 

I have spent the last few years playing MMO's and since like 4weeks ago when I stopped it's alot less stressful but wayyy more boring.

 

I have thought of going outside and getting a life, bla bla bla, but that doesn't appeal to me the same way that a spunk lollypop doesn't appeal to me.

[Eve]

Errr well I'm a little above average, a little so I guess im dreadfull considering the time I put in it.

 

Yup I have thought of game testing, but it would ruin the whole enjoyment aspect, having to write down what goes wrong and playing a really glitchy game.

 

Lol, yup I always used to feel sorry for all the teenagers being bored constantly... But now im one of them, its really bloody annoying.

 

Well it's not like I haven't thought of like every possibility, But about 99.99% of things are short term, they just don't interest me. Methinks that spending such a long time focused on only the one thing makes me kinda obsessive only caring about doing one thing with an odd short term boredom fix every now and then, not just loads of short term fixes.

It's not like I go complain to everyone that I'm bored, I be bored in my own space

 

I have spent the last few years playing MMO's and since like 4weeks ago when I stopped it's alot less stressful but wayyy more boring.

 

I have thought of going outside and getting a life, bla bla bla, but that doesn't appeal to me the same way that a spunk lollypop doesn't appeal to me.

 

 

Once again, an observers response prevails! You have 'thought' about games testing and because you are only observing the thoughts the problem solving aspects come to mind. You need to allow short term things to become more long term.. There is nothing wrong with being a celebral type unless it gets in the way of actual progress. In fact I think you are letting us celebral types down somewhat. Yes, you will have to write down what goes wrong, you div... Of course you will! Some games maybe glichy, tell them so! I dont know, I think that with all that gaming experience you have to put it to use somehow. Also, I quite like people who see things a bit differently, who are a little anti-social and have a need to be inspired. BUT the teen thing really is only a teen thing and you do need to get over yourself somewhat and push yourself some right now. If you dont, this sense of being bored could turn into something quite nasty methinks.

 

Or maybe.. its time to let the gaming die... and now you are not sure what on earth is out there for you?

 

Where are the parents within all of this? How come you dont have to work? Gosh, if you were my boy I would be challenging you pretty heavily right now. You are obviously very bright and have a lot to give. My young friend there is this thing called 'delaying gratification.' We must do stuff we dont like and be capable of getting through it because we have some sort of plan as to what we enjoy doing. You just want the stuff you want to do to manifest. Please dont make the mistake of hanging onto this pattern. Try things out as a participant. I cant tell you what to try because I dont know you well enough to suggest anything but this is what makes people interesting. Its about approach more than anything else.

 

Yeah, I am sure that you dont whine to everyone but I think that you need to value the quirkiness which you have a whole lot more than what you currently are. Break down what you find interesting and what you detest in written form. Elaborate by looking at what you need to to do to make aspects of life more interesting. Weigh up realistically how much time you spend doing.. whatever and how productive it all is. As a rule of thumb, there should be a pretty even balance between the main aspects outline. If there is not... for example, if you find that 80% of time is now being spent on the internet chatting with friends, then you need to cut back on that and incorporate something which is more challenging and which you have to delay any gratifying feelings gained from the interaction..

 

All in all do something a bit different and value your own opinion more, otherwise the quirkiness may turn into a form of depression. At least you are aware of the boredom. You need to go to College or something, like tomorrow.

 

Take care,

Eve xx

[Eve]

Also, what are MMOs? and why do you call yourself Crash 9000?

 

Just curious.

 

Take care,

Eve xx

 

P.s The spunk lolipop comment was rather disturbing. Realistically I cant see how one could create the said lolipop, unless it was blended with sugars and then frozen.

[Crash 9000]

Yup, I hate gaming and have done for the past year or so, but its the only thing that stops me from suicide.

 

Well my parents want me to get a life, infact just earlier today before I wen't to sleep they tried getting me a girlfriend, a very... Direct way, yet since my experience with the oposite gender has been rather bad, I'm scared of them. Not "AHHH OH MAI GODD NOOEEEEEEE" Shy rather. So I just said "Im tierd, nighteh night"

But they dont seem to have a problem with me staying indoors all day.

 

Well I haven't been to school since i was 11... Like 2weeks 'till 12 but still 11, had some eye disease, something to do with inflamation of cells. So my vision was constantly blured and painfull when I was exposed to sunlight, It cleared up like 6months ago... I mean I still have it but it's not much of a problem, I was going to be going back to school until I was told that if I do I'd go back several years... So I was like "Hmmm, **** that I'll end up commiting suicide" Not that I wasn't expecting to go back, but just a year or so, as I was always in the top set for everything. Not to say I'm pants on head retarded now, I have had that time to think about lifes problems and how peoples minds work. Evidently my appearance has turned eye burning. How much time I do, doing whatever? Hmmm, gaming for like 5-6hours a day currently, watch a film, spend some time on youtube, go to sleep.

 

Yeah I have thought of college... Well my mum ("mom" if your American) has, and theres nothing that really appeals to me, maybe thats being a social outcast all my life, not having gone to school in 4 years, and the depression I think I have yet the god damm doctors won't give me any bloody anti-depressants.

 

Tanks for the help though, should really start doing lots of short-term things.

[Crash 9000]

Also, what are MMOs? and why do you call yourself Crash 9000?

 

Just curious.

 

Take care,

Eve xx

 

P.s The spunk lolipop comment was rather disturbing. Realistically I cant see how one could create the said lolipop, unless it was blended with sugars and then frozen.

 

 

Games like world of warcraft, runescape (lol who plays runescape anymore?) everquest, big multiplayer RPG's basically.

 

Well back when I first really got into the internet, I started playing runescape and I was thinking of a username, and having played all the crash bandicoot games over the last few days I got "Crash" and the 9000 is just the number i felt fits with it the most.

 

Well it doesn't have to consist of it, just taste like it

[Eve]

Yup, I hate gaming and have done for the past year or so, but its the only thing that stops me from suicide.

 

Well my parents want me to get a life, infact just earlier today before I wen't to sleep they tried getting me a girlfriend, a very... Direct way, yet since my experience with the oposite gender has been rather bad, I'm scared of them. Not "AHHH OH MAI GODD NOOEEEEEEE" Shy rather. So I just said "Im tierd, nighteh night"

But they dont seem to have a problem with me staying indoors all day.

 

Well I haven't been to school since i was 11... Like 2weeks 'till 12 but still 11, had some eye disease, something to do with inflamation of cells. So my vision was constantly blured and painfull when I was exposed to sunlight, It cleared up like 6months ago... I mean I still have it but it's not much of a problem, I was going to be going back to school until I was told that if I do I'd go back several years... So I was like "Hmmm, **** that I'll end up commiting suicide" Not that I wasn't expecting to go back, but just a year or so, as I was always in the top set for everything. Not to say I'm pants on head retarded now, I have had that time to think about lifes problems and how peoples minds work. Evidently my appearance has turned eye burning. How much time I do, doing whatever? Hmmm, gaming for like 5-6hours a day currently, watch a film, spend some time on youtube, go to sleep.

 

Yeah I have thought of college... Well my mum ("mom" if your American) has, and theres nothing that really appeals to me, maybe thats being a social outcast all my life, not having gone to school in 4 years, and the depression I think I have yet the god damm doctors won't give me any bloody anti-depressants.

 

Tanks for the help though, should really start doing lots of short-term things.

 

Oh sweetheart! Gosh, I will try to keep this short because of my current broodiness. I get all broody about 5 times per year you see and I am in 'that' phase right now. What you said really touched me and got me feeling all maternal... but this is about you not me. I can really empathise with you though because I know what it is to be isolated at a young age ... I was in care (for no fault of my own) and it wasnt until college that I began to find myself. I say;

 

1. Thank goodness you are ok. The thing with the eyesight was a challenge but you are ok and that is all that matters.

 

2. Maybe the gaming thing has served its purpose and may now only come back when you come into contact with games of a superior quality?.. but it may feel like an 'old joy' to you and no longer a singular focus. This is ok. Sometimes its just how it is when things have served their purpose.

 

3. Try short courses (usually last only 6 weeks) first because of the short term thing you have spoken off. I mean, in the long run, maybe it is for the best that you missed formal schooling. Schools are cruel places nowadays, College is WAYYYY better!! I say, get ready for College in September (I dont know if you will be eligible to attend in September.. ) The main gist of what I am saying is that by doing random short courses in things like photography etc you could build up interests and essentially break up the week. There are SO many courses as such out there which you could attend. Have a browse via the internet and make a few calls to see what strikes you as interesting. Some are at Colleges, some are based at Communty type places. Try it.

 

4. The parents. I would say that they are glad that you are in the house and alive after what you have been through. Get them involved by trying different things with a diet plan or something. Find something to give them to work with. Parenting is a hard job and I am concerned that a routine has built up which needs to be changed. You are not 11 and ill anymore. Dont try and change everything all at once though. Not healthy. I hope that you can talk to the parents .. beyond their trying to get you married off..

 

5. The suicide thing. If you have made an attempt at suicide previously find a way to get support to talk with someone asap. If this is a recent thing you have been considering, I would like to give you something to consider. Suicide is not really a solution, its like a fuzzy way of considering a means to an end when a person cannot find a resolution and feel miserable as ****. Thoughts about issues need to be shared my love. You know that saying about 'a problem shared being halved'.. it is actually true! I will admit to trying the suicide thing.. each time I was found. I am SO glad I did not succeed now but back then.. it was horrible beyond belief! I now have a full and successful life and help others in various ways. You can survive this darkness honey.

 

You are a survivor of an illness, not a victim! The rebuilding of of options to make life interesting is not hopeless for you in the slightest. In fact, you have gained vital geek qualities in the time which you have been alone. These geek qualities will carry you through but they will make you more sensitive to a lot of things which are esteemed as being 'good' in the world which you may not find at all interesting. This is because they are not interesting. Isolation and suffering does that to the human spirit for some reason and its ok. There are people out there who you will be like a blessed relief when they come across you! So suicide now would be like a way of severing yourself from a life which really you probably never really belonged to anyway but never had a chance to decide against for yourself.

 

All that REALLY matters is that you have a future. Anyway, suicide hurts. **** that. Do something else instead

 

6. I just knew that the username you chose had something to do with Crash Bandicoot! I can say, hand on heart, that I would beat your ass at 'Crash Team Racing' because I am the greatest player to have ever lived. No one can beat me. Simple as.. Its true baby, its true.

 

7. Please stay on here regarding the girl/attraction thing. Relationships are a minefield, even if everything in ones life is ok. Ask questions here. There are some wonderful posters who respond with seriously profound posts. Of course there are some twats too, but you will see them for yourself... They crack me up.. true entertainment!

 

I am so glad that you live. You can get through this and meet some interesting friends along the way. Please keep posting and PM me and other posters who are sensible and not twats for support.

 

Take care,

Eve xx

 

P.s. I am British BTW..

[Crash 9000]

Yeah I'd love to play games as a short term boredom fix, but its just getting other stuff to do

 

Hmm one problem i forgot to mention, I get annoyed... At everything, well things I care about. Basically if I try caring about an education I'll be easily iritated if I don't understand something straight away, the only way I survived in the past is that I didn't care at all, wouldn't care if I aced every test or not (Got above average in everything by the way) and I've had bad experiences with games that I'm below average on, involving getting the very durable xbox 360 controler and thrusting it into my forehead or kneecap. Also part of the reason I haven't gone paintball in a while, get all pissed off that I run like a one leged hippo and can't aim properly. So really I have to just not care to the point of I'd rather not do it, so college would probably end in 'GAH FFS I TOALEH DIDNT UNDERSTAND A CERTAIN PART (Insert profanity here) GAH IM NOT GOING FFS'

 

Diet plan? you saying im fat? im underweight actually... Oh... Wait... I guess you can have a diet to gain weight too

Which from eating nothing but chocolate and doritos all day, is surprising... Yay for insane metabolism. Not that I dont like other food, but its just all fart-assing about with the cooking, and the less ease to eat and the bla bla bla.

 

Oh yeah I can talk to my parents fine, I did try to explain that I'm scared of girls and that the sort of "Lock them in the same room for a few hours and they will do their thing" method will only make me more "scared"

But they... she didn't understand and still went ahead with it.

And they are just like that, dont listen to a word I say and always thinking their right, not that I think everything they say is wrong, well anouther example would be 'Doug, you want to go paintball tomorow?' so I say no and explain why... 2hours later same question over and over and over, so I start explaining that she keeps asking, she asks some more so I get a bit vulgar then I'M! the bad guy And thinking that taking me to a counsiller or however you spell it won't help

 

Well I did try another suicide attempt like 5days ago, what with being a social outcast and no one liking me, getting pissed off at everything and so on.

Ended up stabbing a knife into the kitchen worktop thingy instead of my bowels (Yay for wikipedia'ing suicide methods )

 

Yup well I spent a long time going to a counsiller when I was like 10 - early 11. And I think I'm going again in like 2 weeks.

 

Well I think I'll end up commiting suicide, I'd say theres about a 50% chance I'll kill myself, 35% chance I'll get murderd or die from bad health before i turn 30, 15% chance ill die above the age of 30.

 

Well it's not like I was void of all human interaction being locked up in a "Basement" playing only single-player games and eating my feaces to survive I spent like a whole year talking to people all day... Albiet on the internet over a game, but it was like the same 5 people. And it was easier that they couldn't judge me on as much, plus they were like 30-40 year olds who still live with their mum and then not as immature, well they were immature in a mature way like anal jokes and exchanging insults, sadly they are like the only friends I've ever had.

 

But all them silly crash games suck

The platformers were the only good ones... and crash tag team racing, Crash 2 was the best

 

Btw thanks for not being one of them crazy Americans who say stuff like "OH MAI GOD, BELIEVE IN GOD READ THE BIBLE, WHATS THAT? YOUR SUICIDAL!?!?! THEN ASK GOD FOR HELP! YOUR LIFE IS GODS, NOT YOURS" Not that I'm a "Bible Basher" but you should really keep your religion to yourself and other people of the same religion... Unless ofc you get in a big religion argument.

[Crash 9000]

Ffs I'm bored... Hmmm, ima go watch a movie.

[Crash 9000]

Godfather... gud film.

[Eve]

Yeah I'd love to play games as a short term boredom fix, but its just getting other stuff to do

 

Hmm one problem i forgot to mention, I get annoyed... At everything, well things I care about. Basically if I try caring about an education I'll be easily iritated if I don't understand something straight away, the only way I survived in the past is that I didn't care at all, wouldn't care if I aced every test or not (Got above average in everything by the way) and I've had bad experiences with games that I'm below average on, involving getting the very durable xbox 360 controler and thrusting it into my forehead or kneecap. Also part of the reason I haven't gone paintball in a while, get all pissed off that I run like a one leged hippo and can't aim properly. So really I have to just not care to the point of I'd rather not do it, so college would probably end in 'GAH FFS I TOALEH DIDNT UNDERSTAND A CERTAIN PART (Insert profanity here) GAH IM NOT GOING FFS'

 

Diet plan? you saying im fat? im underweight actually... Oh... Wait... I guess you can have a diet to gain weight too

Which from eating nothing but chocolate and doritos all day, is surprising... Yay for insane metabolism. Not that I dont like other food, but its just all fart-assing about with the cooking, and the less ease to eat and the bla bla bla.

 

Oh yeah I can talk to my parents fine, I did try to explain that I'm scared of girls and that the sort of "Lock them in the same room for a few hours and they will do their thing" method will only make me more "scared"

But they... she didn't understand and still went ahead with it.

And they are just like that, dont listen to a word I say and always thinking their right, not that I think everything they say is wrong, well anouther example would be 'Doug, you want to go paintball tomorow?' so I say no and explain why... 2hours later same question over and over and over, so I start explaining that she keeps asking, she asks some more so I get a bit vulgar then I'M! the bad guy And thinking that taking me to a counsiller or however you spell it won't help

 

Well I did try another suicide attempt like 5days ago, what with being a social outcast and no one liking me, getting pissed off at everything and so on.

Ended up stabbing a knife into the kitchen worktop thingy instead of my bowels (Yay for wikipedia'ing suicide methods )

 

Yup well I spent a long time going to a counsiller when I was like 10 - early 11. And I think I'm going again in like 2 weeks.

 

Well I think I'll end up commiting suicide, I'd say theres about a 50% chance I'll kill myself, 35% chance I'll get murderd or die from bad health before i turn 30, 15% chance ill die above the age of 30.

 

Well it's not like I was void of all human interaction being locked up in a "Basement" playing only single-player games and eating my feaces to survive I spent like a whole year talking to people all day... Albiet on the internet over a game, but it was like the same 5 people. And it was easier that they couldn't judge me on as much, plus they were like 30-40 year olds who still live with their mum and then not as immature, well they were immature in a mature way like anal jokes and exchanging insults, sadly they are like the only friends I've ever had.

 

But all them silly crash games suck

The platformers were the only good ones... and crash tag team racing, Crash 2 was the best

 

Btw thanks for not being one of them crazy Americans who say stuff like "OH MAI GOD, BELIEVE IN GOD READ THE BIBLE, WHATS THAT? YOUR SUICIDAL!?!?! THEN ASK GOD FOR HELP! YOUR LIFE IS GODS, NOT YOURS" Not that I'm a "Bible Basher" but you should really keep your religion to yourself and other people of the same religion... Unless ofc you get in a big religion argument.

 

 

The thing is Crash you are going to need to start again with the education thing .. from scratch. I would advise 'Learn Direct' because they dont follow the College Year format and so it is possible to be as slow or fast as needed. The way I understand it, with maths and english there are underpinning bits of knowledge which are imperative. These cornerstones are sometimes missed by kids because of large class numbers/absence from school and so kids can find it difficult to keep up with further skills needs for say, equations/grammar etc. Therefore you need to start from scratch. From what you have said this has scared you within a school setting because of the need to go into a lower year. I can see this would be uncomfortable but at the same time I think it a tad unreasonable to want to committ suicide rather than overcome this! Personally, I think that by completing foundation papers (pre-GCSE) before College you will be in an excellent position to complete the GCSE.

 

Thats just how it is honey.

 

Smashing things onto ones body is not conducive to learning. You need to begin, sustain and finish something and build on positive learning experiences. Thus gaining confidence and vital skills. I missed loads of school because my social worker (who was a hairy idiot) moved me all around the Country at a days notice and noone wanted me because I wasnt small and cute anymore. I used to get really angry too. But reading has always been a safe haven for me and stopped me from getting into more trouble than what I could have gotten into in the end. Obviously I am a totally different person to you but I found that I had to accept my learning curve in order to get on. Like, I have to read things about three times sometimes before I am really sure of something. I used to think I was stupid but now I know that really I just wanted to be one of those kids who understood straight away.. and I sort of was but I still had to accept that I needed to be absolutely sure of what I was doing and this meant reading whatever more than once. Once I accepted this in myself (and congratulated myself for such insight) everything was ok. Later in life with my own kids I found out that apparently only 20% of the population have good comprehension skills within reading mainly because people do not re-read information!

 

So, start again and stop beating yourself up for ****s sake.. There are people out there who lack tact and can be nasty. Therefore you must treat yourself extra carefully.

 

The diet plan thing was a means to get the parents involved. I said this because my kids love my cooking for them and if they mention something new I am right there brewing something up... not that I am overweight or anything either.. I am just right I think and my children are SO stunning.. so proud of them... Anyhow you answered what I was getting at by saying that you can in fact speak to the parents.. of which I am glad. As for them not listening to you, my kids say the same sorts of things to me all the time. I think its a generational mix of teen angst and parental survival technique. Especially if you are being arsy back. My youngest daughter is the queen of teen angst.. but thankfully she has changed lately. Its a rite of passage which you will understand more when you have a child of your own. Cant say anything other than this really. Its just how it is. Usually once the kid starts showing more responsiveness things change, unless the parents are really dysfunctional.. Teens dont want to hear this, but its true. I shut down my daughters whole life when she has been really rude and even threatened to remove her bedroom door the other day! But I love her and she loves me. At the end of the day we are the same really..

 

I used to say that I would be dead before 30 too. Somewhere along the line I took up the challenge of finding out who I am. Crash, dont rely on getting anti-depressants to sort things out. I am glad that you are going to see a counsellor, I hope he/she knows what they are doing. You need to invest time in making time more interesting in the week via Learn Direct or something of a simular challenge and take time with yourself. Small changes first..

 

I am a Christian Crash, pretty devout actually but I dont tend to tell people in real life because mostly they think that you are crazy... Funnily enough it is usually a case of people asking me if I am a Christian in the end. But no I am not going to tell you what to do. I believe that we all know deep down what we need to do.. its just doing it! The only thing I will do is pray for you privately for direction because I believe it works, but not in a dramatic middle of any conversation type of way. Is that ok?

 

Crap, I am writing way too much. please PM me if you want to talk. I have lifted my 'no PM' thing in case you want to talk.

 

Remember.. pose questions about any girl issues to your hearts content on here. You will get good feedback. Although all you need to know is that girls are the real rulers of the earth. With this knowledge you will be fine...

 

Take care,

Eve xx

 

P.s I dont know how you can watch mafia type films! I walked out of 'Goodfellas'.. gross film. 'In Bruge' was hilarious though! Thats sort of criminal underworld-ish. Glad you thought CRT was ok..

[Eve]

Anyhow you cant commit suicide because 'Transformer II' comes out soon.. cant miss that. Transformers is one of the BEST films ever, ever made.. I can barely wait to see it. I cant imagine life without films and music.

 

I am hoping that the IMAX Cinemas sort themselves out in time for Transformer II. I went there the other day whilst in London (hate London midweek) and was shocked that they only had one known film showing.

 

Whats that about?

 

PM me later .. if you want that is..

 

Later.

 

Take care,

Eve xx

 

Ps Also I made a typo. I meant to say 'glad you liked CTR' - crash team racing, not CRT. Oops.

[Crash 9000]

What? I'm not thinking of suicide just because of my education.

It's how everyone hates me, I'm ugly, I get angry at everything and so on.

I guess the problem will be getting into it again without getting all butthurt and throwing a hissy fit then ragequiting.

 

 

Well tbh methinks it's better to let all the rage out consistantly instead of bottleing it all up then unleashing it into an over-elaborate suicide attempt (Yes I know I spelt elaborate wrong )

 

Well another recent example would be earlier today me and my mum were doing a 1000 piece puzzle we just got and my mum was singing constantly so I was like "Mum, can you stop singing" then with the "MUM FFS" Then she started asking some casual questions, then before I could even answer she asked another one and so on.

Not really much of a problem, but bloody annoying.

 

 

Yeah don't really think the anti-depressants will help, as it clouds your opinion and that. Don't think I'd like it.

 

Erm, yeah that's fine but I've seen alot of things like this and alot of them are the crazy people inflicting their opinion on religion on others and lots of people aggre with them not really the kind of help I'm sure they were looking for

 

I don't think I can PM yet, think I need to be an established member.

 

 

Hmm, girl issues... None really since my fear of them, my natural hostility towards people for fear of them hurting me first... I mean hey if you get the first punch, you're more likely to win. And how everyone ends up hating me anyway I dun't think thats much of a topic atm.

 

You don't like goodfellas? thats like saying you dont like breathing.

 

"HOW AM I FUNNEH!?!??! LIKE CLOWN FUNNY!? AM I AMUSING TO YOU!?"

 

Whats CRT? Crash... racing team? Crash... rhino tube?

[Crash 9000]

Anyhow you cant commit suicide because 'Transformer II' comes out soon.. cant miss that. Transformers is one of the BEST films ever, ever made.. I can barely wait to see it. I cant imagine life without films and music.

 

I am hoping that the IMAX Cinemas sort themselves out in time for Transformer II. I went there the other day whilst in London (hate London midweek) and was shocked that they only had one known film showing.

 

Whats that about?

 

PM me later .. if you want that is..

 

Later.

 

Take care,

Eve xx

 

Ps Also I made a typo. I meant to say 'glad you liked CTR' - crash team racing, not CRT. Oops.

 

 

Transformers? THERE IS NO FILM BETTER THAN 300! saying you don't like 300 is like saying you dont like goodfellas!

 

Whuts what about?

 

Ya sure... if i can

 

O... mybad

 

EDIT: Don't know how to PM, or I can't was trying to click your name and go from there, but nope.

[Crash 9000]

Me gonnah watch predator... "GET TO DUR CHAPAHH!"

[Crash 9000]

Is there a way you can sleep for like 16 hours a day? Like taking loads of sleeping tablets... without the agonizing death.

[Eve]

Is there a way you can sleep for like 16 hours a day? Like taking loads of sleeping tablets... without the agonizing death.

 

Crash, I am glad that you will soon be seeing a Counsellor. The real work can only be done in the real world. Just make sure that you are safe above all else and ride the highs and lows with support from those who know and love you. Growing up is hard but there are plenty of good bits! Its finding the good bits and sustaining them which count above all else.

 

I think that you are right about the whole message thing. It kicks in after 100 posts. Never mind. I would use the forum to respond where possible to other posts and pose questions. However if it is that you are suicidal you really must get help in the real world right now.

 

There are things such as ethics etc which I have sworn to abide by and this includes not going beyond the scope of what I can be of assistance with. Right now there is a bit of a two way thing going on between us and this is not allowed within the Love shack guidelines. I suppose I am also aware that people are reading this and well, I have to ask how helpful it is to continue as such? There are different sides to people and maybe you could share the interest that you have with films (300 was a good film, though the ritual to select the Spartan was wholey unrealistic and a serious form of child abuse.. ) Yeah, so share yourself in various ways young man which sparks interest and enlivens the many possiblities that we all have.

 

Maybe then things such a as your mother asking incessant questions, the current view of yourself as ugly and the latent girls thing can take on a different perspective? One conversation or act cannot satisfy such questions.

 

.. Also I just need to clarify that I am not against anti-depressants. I can see that when they are used with a form of therapy they are found to be very effective. I just dont see them as the be all and end all. Exercise has been found to provide relief too for example for those who are depressed. Because of how old you are I am glad that the Doctors have hesitated in prescribing anti-depressants.. you can turn things around with a few changes such as, opening up what options are open to you and learning how to comfort yourself moreso. Seriously, you can you know, you really can make positive changes.

 

Crash, keep yourself safe, ok? I think you could make so much progress by rethinking the word suicide and using another term instead. Language accounts for so much. Theres a topic for discussion with the Counsellor. No doubt she will bring this up.

 

So, whilst here, ask questions and put the answers into action.

 

.. and Look after yourself Hun.

 

I have to go back to work tomorrow and rarely have that much time to be on here as it is! So I will have to look forward to commenting on other posts which you make later in the week.

 

BTW, Transformers was WAYYY better than 300...

 

Take care,

Eve xx

 

P.s I agree about the religion thing. I find that people do get it a bit mixed up though because a person can display being religious (sort off) about many things other than God. Like following a team religiously.. erm.. doing a certain routine religiously, even when it doesnt work. That does my head in, rigid patterns that people follow regardless of outcome.

[Crash 9000]

OH (T$UGHR*HB$N#JRIUfhgbjiwdufvbnweiughrebwnfigyrebhnjihjerhuhejg8heb

I AKSHIBLUDDYDENTLY HELD CTRL AND SCROLL JUST BEFORE I PUSHED THE FREEGEEN BLUDDEH SUBMIT REPLY BUTTON!!! OH FFS!!!

 

Ok lets make this quick...

 

There is no good bits really, maybe it's that i cant notice them.

 

Ive been suicidal for such a long time, i doubt i would kill myself anyway while my mums still alive... oh ffs now im slamming the controler into my foorhead... she wants to send me to my dads who just uses me to annoy people on forums he doesnt like (in a nutshell) and only wants me to go over there so he can brainwash me to not want to come back and piss my mum off, o wait i tried killing myself 5 days or so ago bla bla pissing bla.

 

(still annoyed that i have to rite half an hour of text again, so ima make it fast with poor grammar and bla bla bla)

 

o wait bla bla bla is that that this is like a private chat, can you PM me your IMer? i would post mine but i dont want everyone knowing it

 

Well she could ask me questions any time i do what i normaly OH FFS GETTING ANNOYED AgAIN!!!!! do for like 3hours a day, siting in my chair looking at the ground thinking while listening to the TV, but she only wants to ask me loads of questions wehn im busy.

 

yeah ill be safe in the short term for now.

 

differnet word? bla bla bla, err puttin an end to self-suffering?

 

kk sorry this is very rushed, in no FFS ANNOYED AGAEEN!!!! way am i going to spend half an hour anwsering every little detail in perfect grammar sorry

 

maybe thats because i just woke up and im all hot and swety, i feel like im going to puke and bla bla bla, that im easily annoyed.

 

 

EDIT: If a mod is seeing this, sorry for teh angry words, feel free to bann me, its not like i havent been banned on 90% of everything i use anyway...

bebo acutally ban you if 10 people dont like you and push a big "i dont like this guy" button, well i got banned... and the reason was something like "many people dont like you, we are bebo and we have silly terms and conditions" ya know... makes me wonder if theres a group of 15 people or so, who go around really popular bebo peoplez, and report them to get them banned... makes sense that that could happen. basically the jist of what happend was, i was siting on my bebo just enjoying my own company (as much as i can anyway) when suddenly all teh old people from teh school who hate me started shouting abuse at me on teh bebos, so i shouted back... nothing any more vulgar than what they did. But just because of their shire numbers, it was ok for them to break the terms and conditions where as i get banned for....... BEING THE FREEGEEN VICTIM!!!

 

agains surreh for teh angry words and bad grammar.

[Crash 9000]

So theres no way to sleep for extra long times?

[Crash 9000]

Oh well, guess coming back here everyday isn't going to get me nowhere ^_^

 

YET IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO BLOODY DO!