Believer with non-believer

[samsungxoxo]

Ok if one parent is a catholic, christian or has another religion while the other one is an atheist or agnostic then how can they educate their children when it comes to that. What will the child choose the most.

 

Ok well see let's say that me and my boyfriend were to get marry one of these day (as he mentioned several occassions that he will when he comes to my homecountry) and well yes he does want a kid in the future. If so then this would be our debate. I'm an atheist while he's a catholic. So in that case what can be done??

 

If I ever had kids with him, I would want my kids to think through logic and common sense (things are explained through science and technology) and not go off with some imaginary illusion you create in your mind or accept something that has never been seen by scientist nor with your own eyes. And no offense but I would get disgusted if I had a kid and he/she had started developing superstitions, so unrealistic.

[Lovelybird]

and not go off with some imaginary illusion you create in your mind or accept something that has never been seen by scientist nor with your own eyes. And no offense but I would get disgusted if I had a kid and he/she had started developing superstitions, so unrealistic.

Is this what you think of your boyfriend? does he know about this opinion?

 

Well, I think it is better you sort this out before the marriage. "little foxes can spoil the whole vineyard" (Bible teaches this), that means pride, ego, disrespect, dishonest, these seemingly little things can ruin marriage. Marriage needs transparency, honest, RESPECT, admiration, constant sacrifice of own selfish for the good of marriage bond...

 

by the way, why do you even consider marry a man whom you cannot respect? do you have other motives?

 

A good marriage should be built on solid rock, that is core value, mutual respect, mutual admiration, mutual trust....

[Stone]

You are intitled to your opinion, however you are in no shape to even think about having children after the comment that you would be "disgusted" if your child was a christ follower... as a parent you should accept your child as they are, they will not always agree with you, Having a relationship with god, is better than any other relationship you could ever have with a person, religion teach's good solid morals, and teaches us to eveluate ourselvs often. Religion will be a personal choice as that child gets older.... you can't judge something you don't understand, or teach a child to be so close minded.

 

I have seen thousands and thousands of children with disibilities, and illness... there are other things to be worried about be happy if you have a healthy child!!Reevaluate your relationship with him, and don't start a faimly unless you can bring up a child with common morals.

 

Oh by the way, even if you think I am unrealistic, god bless you for today jesus died on the cross for you as well

[D-Lish]

Love for one another should be first and foremost.

 

I am a Atheist, but I respect other people's beliefs. I would never try and change how someone truly feels about something, but I won't allow anyone to attack my belief's either.

 

It probably depends on how well you guys can communicate about these issues. Is it a constant struggle? Is one person more serious about the other conforming?

 

Maybe it's something you respect about one another- the fact that you have different beliefs about your higher power. Hey, my parents are at opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of politics and religion. They have been happily married for 25 years. My Mom is a Christian and my dad is Agnostic. They make concessions and sacrifices for one another when they know something is important to the other person.

 

Being different is okay, believing different things is okay. It's how you reconcile with the differences that defines the quality of your relationsip.

 

If it's going to come down to one person believing they are superior to the other because they can't accept what the other believes- the marriage will be a struggle.

 

If two people love one another, and they let religion come between them, that's very sad. Good people are Good people, regardless of their affiliations to the afterlife. I think it would be a shame to discontinue a relationship due to religious division alone.

[Mahatma]

My girlfriend is a christian and I am an "I dunno."

 

We both believe in the possibility of what the other believes and neither of us assume we are right.

 

It seems you are unable to even contemplate his beliefs. Having this sort of opinion about someone will affect more than just how you raise your kids.

 

You should either lose the ignorance and be more tolerant, or find someone like you.

[taiko]

I suspect you are stronger in your belief then he is in his. Is he catholic or CATHOLIC is the main question? Does he go to Mass weekly and meet all of his church obligations?

 

He was taught to avoid the relationship with you in the first place. Should you marry and he is unable to get you into a Catholic Church for the ceremony he has to forgo all the rituals or live with you in a sexless brotherly/sisterly love situation in order to receive the Catholic specific rituals or be in a state of sin and no morel eternal salvation.

 

I suspect that his obligation to raise a child Catholic will be limited to having a Priest perform the ritual so his son is saved even if his wife isn't and enrolling him in the local Catholic School to avoid the crumbling public education system.

[Isis1808]

Im in the same situation but i actually have a child with this man. Im Buddhist and he was raised Christian (but no longer attends church). He was fine with me being a Buddhist but now that we have a child together he doesnt agree with me being a Buddhist. I strongly believe that hes being this way because his family is telling him that they want OUR child to be baptized or christened or something. I dont agree with that and i dont want to do that to my child, i would like him to choose what religion he wants when he gets older, without anyone influences. If he doesnt want to be a Buddhist that would be fine with me, but i wouldnt like to force Christianity on him. Im still dealing with this situation and dont know what to do with it. So Good luck to you and figure everything out before you decide to have kids and put them in the middle.

[samsungxoxo]

Thanks for the posts and yes we all did made a point in the way that in a relationship neither of the two should impose their views. No this is not a constant struggle. I respect him and his beliefs even if inside me I find it not making any sense at all. Though there was this one occassion he tried to persuaded me in his belief and to at least try believing in god once. Nevertheless it just didn't went for me, no I couldn't accept something I don't go by. But then afterwards he left me alone with my view on that as he saw it wasn't working.

 

As for marriage he actually would let me have it my way so if we were to get marry then it will be a civil marriage which he's ok with it.

 

I suspect you are stronger in your belief then he is in his. Is he catholic or CATHOLIC is the main question? Does he go to Mass weekly and meet all of his church obligations?

 

I don't think he's a fanatic about it. Yes he believes in church and has a bible at home but he wouldn't go to that extreme like some people do.

 

He was taught to avoid the relationship with you in the first place. Should you marry and he is unable to get you into a Catholic Church for the ceremony he has to forgo all the rituals or live with you in a sexless brotherly/sisterly love situation in order to receive the Catholic specific rituals or be in a state of sin and no morel eternal salvation.

 

He's alright in the relationship and this is not brought up anymore as he doesn't seem to mind my views but won't share them as I will not share his either. Marriage, like I already stated before I get to choose it and he's ok with it. It would be a civil marriage.

 

I suspect that his obligation to raise a child Catholic will be limited to having a Priest perform the ritual so his son is saved even if his wife isn't and enrolling him in the local Catholic School to avoid the crumbling public education system.

 

That's what would annoy me the most if he were to do that if I had a kid with him. Ok it's alright to belive (or not believe) in what you want to but don't impose it on a child not less a baby that can't even talk.

[taiko]

 

I don't think he's a fanatic about it. Yes he believes in church and has a bible at home but he wouldn't go to that extreme like some people do.

 

 

 

He's alright in the relationship and this is not brought up anymore as he doesn't seem to mind my views but won't share them as I will not share his either. Marriage, like I already stated before I get to choose it and he's ok with it. It would be a civil marriage.

 

 

 

That's what would annoy me the most if he were to do that if I had a kid with him. Ok it's alright to belive (or not believe) in what you want to but don't impose it on a child not less a baby that can't even talk.

 

It seems that he is what a Catholic fundamentalist would call a cafeteria catholic then. As a protestant that doesn't do infant baptisms I wonder what your concern is about having a Priest dribble some water on your child one Sunday? Many non Catholics and ex Catholics go through their school systems. In America the average Nun is like 66 years old so lay teachers are hired. The indoctrination you worry about doesn't seem to be taking hold.

[samsungxoxo]

As a protestant that doesn't do infant baptisms I wonder what your concern is about having a Priest dribble some water on your child one Sunday?

 

Because the baby is being brought to that at a so early age, he/she can't even talk. Plus the child can grow up and not follow that so that's so time wasted on your part.

 

As for people that say that a child is free to choose whatever he/she wants, by baptizing them, you are basically choosing it for them. It's different once the child can talk and actually wants it done the it's out of consentment from them.

[Mahatma]

If the child is a boy, he will want to be more like daddy. If it is a girl, she will want to be more like mommy.

 

The ability to really make your own decisions comes much later in life... and really those decisions are still going to be heavily weighted towards the way your parents think.

[samsungxoxo]

If the child is a boy, he will want to be more like daddy. If it is a girl, she will want to be more like mommy.

 

If that is so then how come I'm not a catholic like my mother who believes in few of the saints she keeps while my father is an agnostic.

 

I went for neither of them as I deny the existence of a god as well as religions while my father is in doubt but will not accept it completely either. As for my mother I don't resemble any of her beliefs nor behaviors.

 

As a little girl of like 10 years and below I always would side more on my father than mother as it seems that his way of explaining things made more sense and apply lots of logic into it.

[TaraMaiden]

I think children should not be baptised until they can choose what they wish to follow for themseves.

If a child is not able to drive, or belong to a political party until they can do this for themselves, why is it so necessary to enrol them in a religion so young?

 

I am interested that this movement has arisen in the United Kingdom...

It seems some people feel very strongly about this matter and have taken what they wish to be official steps to remove themselves from the Religion their parents chose for them.

 

I was born and raised Catholic, and de-baptism for a Roman Catholic in Italy would be considered heresy. The Church in Italy takes a register of those baptised, and these records run parallel to community and municipal registrations of citizens.

But this is not the case in England, and mainly, the gesture is symbolic. But it means a lot to those doing it.

It is a protest at being obligated to make a decision at a time when they had no power or will to say no.

I am very happy to be Buddhist also, Isis 1808.

Luckily, my parents are very open-minded, and I attended a Buddhist centre in Italy.

Now I am in England, this is a much better atmosphere, and I do not feel ridiculed or criticised.

people in Italy are very open and welcoming. They accepted my Buddhism, but the Church is less forgiving and accommodating.

Even though I had refuge in Italy, there I will always be considered Catholic. Here, I am Buddhist, no question.

But I changed my route.

It seems I am not alone.

[taiko]

Actually I believe that even if you debaptize yourself the Catholic Church still counts you. They only stopit is when you formally go to the local Bishop and say I am not one of you.

 

I still don't get it though. If you don't believe what's the big deal if someone gave you a quick bath or washed the top of your head while saying a prayer to their God when you were to young to object? It is their hang up, the beliver's, not yours as you claim not to believe. It is not permanent like a Muslim or Jewish father having a young son circumsized after all.

 

The other part I don't get is that you want to be in a relationship with someone of a faith but you won't compromise on the smallest things, like a one hour ritual that hapens one Sunday and never again.

[samsungxoxo]

I still don't get it though. If you don't believe what's the big deal if someone gave you a quick bath or washed the top of your head while saying a prayer to their God when you were to young to object?

 

Because by doing that, the parent is basically choosing it for the child at a so tender age. Know that the child can't even talk then the parent takes advantage of that moment.

 

The other part I don't get is that you want to be in a relationship with someone of a faith but you won't compromise on the smallest things, like a one hour ritual that hapens one Sunday and never again.

 

True I will never agree with it and well besides this issues there is love in the relationship so it's ok if he believes that way. I try being understanding as I will never attack his views and vice-versa.

[Mahatma]

If that is so then how come I'm not a catholic like my mother who believes in few of the saints she keeps while my father is an agnostic.

 

I went for neither of them as I deny the existence of a god as well as religions while my father is in doubt but will not accept it completely either. As for my mother I don't resemble any of her beliefs nor behaviors.

 

As a little girl of like 10 years and below I always would side more on my father than mother as it seems that his way of explaining things made more sense and apply lots of logic into it.

 

 

Well I would regard you as an anomaly.

 

My mom was born into a heavily religious family, but once she got older (7-10) she would question her mother's beliefs.

 

Then she started formulating her own.

 

I used "mommy" and "daddy" for a reason. Once they stop using those words, it will change.

 

My point to you was that what your child chooses first and what your child chooses as time goes on will probably change.

 

Either way, it is your child's choice.

 

You have no child, yet you are already worried about telling your child what to think.

[letters]

May I please ask, why catholiscism is often to referred to a religion outside of christianity in America. Catholics for us Africans

[Island Girl]

Because by doing that, the parent is basically choosing it for the child at a so tender age. Know that the child can't even talk then the parent takes advantage of that moment.

 

 

 

True I will never agree with it and well besides this issues there is love in the relationship so it's ok if he believes that way. I try being understanding as I will never attack his views and vice-versa.

 

I understand where you are coming from completely.

 

I am an atheist and my husband is religious.

 

The believers here can not understand why we feel the way we do about religion.

They believe we are lost and have gotten off the path. They don't understand that a lot of us have gotten to this place through the exploration of faith and wanting to know more than what we are normally spoon fed.

It is a common statement to just go along with it, allow your children to go along with it, stop questioning it with rational logical thought and just believe as they do.

 

Because of that you will continually get the same answers from them. "What is the big deal? Allow your children to know religion and go to church. Allow them to be brought up believing because it helps them, it is best for them, etc."

 

But you and I know it is a big deal to implant that idea in a child's head and pound it in every week with no resistance for years and years and years. That is something that child will then wrestle with for many years if not it's lifetime.

It will affect a lot of what they will view as just or correct politically and socially.

 

I am with you as far as the question goes.

 

And the discussions I have had with my husband have ended with no real answer one way or another.

 

One thing I do know is science is going to be a strong presence in our household.

[Island Girl]

Either way, it is your child's choice.

 

It is no child's "choice" to belong to a particular faith. They go to church and believe as those in their family do and sometimes never question that their entire life. It is something that has been repeatedly ingrained in them from the time they were babies.

 

You have no child, yet you are already worried about telling your child what to think.

 

The time to ponder the rearing of children with regards to religion etc would be before the child arrives in this world.

That is if the parent actually takes the job of parenting seriously.

[letters]

Ok if one parent is a catholic, christian or has another religion .

 

May I please ask, why catholicism is often referred to as if it were a religion different from christianity in America. Isn't Christianity the general name for them that confess Christ as the Son of God? So what if the Catholics choose to honour the virgin Mary? Is that what makes them another religion now? I am African and I am piqued at this. Catholics in Africa are just another group of Christians just like the Methodists, Anglicans, Presbytherian, Pentecostans, lol, I'm just saying.

[Isis1808]

I think children should not be baptised until they can choose what they wish to follow for themseves.

If a child is not able to drive, or belong to a political party until they can do this for themselves, why is it so necessary to enrol them in a religion so young?

 

I am interested that this movement has arisen in the United Kingdom...

It seems some people feel very strongly about this matter and have taken what they wish to be official steps to remove themselves from the Religion their parents chose for them.

 

I was born and raised Catholic, and de-baptism for a Roman Catholic in Italy would be considered heresy. The Church in Italy takes a register of those baptised, and these records run parallel to community and municipal registrations of citizens.

But this is not the case in England, and mainly, the gesture is symbolic. But it means a lot to those doing it.

It is a protest at being obligated to make a decision at a time when they had no power or will to say no.

I am very happy to be Buddhist also, Isis 1808.

Luckily, my parents are very open-minded, and I attended a Buddhist centre in Italy.

Now I am in England, this is a much better atmosphere, and I do not feel ridiculed or criticised.

people in Italy are very open and welcoming. They accepted my Buddhism, but the Church is less forgiving and accommodating.

Even though I had refuge in Italy, there I will always be considered Catholic. Here, I am Buddhist, no question.

But I changed my route.

It seems I am not alone.

 

I completely agree with you on this one. Im having this problem with my SO and he is strongly trying to convince me that christening our son is the best thing for him to "have under his belt", I dont understand that, when will he use it? I dont mean to be coy or stubborn but thats how it sounds to me. We are having lots of problems at this point so i think thats what he feels like he can control, but i agree to give the child the ability to choose as he pleases. I grew up in a Christian home and im now a Buddhist, i took all the steps i needed to become Buddhist. i dont want my son to be forced into something that he might not agree with later in his life.

[Mahatma]

That is if the parent actually takes the job of parenting seriously.

 

I think it is absolutely absurd to want to control the path of your child so much. She is coming here posting about the child's future religious views and how to steer it away.

 

Teach the child both sides. It is as simple as that. It is not something you need to come to a forum and get advice on how to control your child's thoughts.

[D-Lish]

May I please ask, why catholicism is often referred to as if it were a religion different from christianity in America. Isn't Christianity the general name for them that confess Christ as the Son of God? So what if the Catholics choose to honour the virgin Mary? Is that what makes them another religion now? I am African and I am piqued at this. Catholics in Africa are just another group of Christians just like the Methodists, Anglicans, Presbytherian, Pentecostans, lol, I'm just saying.

 

It's no different in North America. Christians have one thing in common- the belief in Christ. There are many different sects. Despite that one binding fundamental element- many sects have different beliefs and practices. Because of that- they take their designations seriously.

[TaraMaiden]

May I please ask, why catholicism is often referred to as if it were a religion different from christianity in America. Isn't Christianity the general name for them that confess Christ as the Son of God? So what if the Catholics choose to honour the virgin Mary? Is that what makes them another religion now? I am African and I am piqued at this. Catholics in Africa are just another group of Christians just like the Methodists, Anglicans, Presbytherian, Pentecostans, lol, I'm just saying.

 

Catholicism was the first founded western religion, and is the oldest of the neo-christ religions. the first Catholic council was in rome.

This is why Roman Catholicism originated and was founded there. This is why the Pope sits in Italy. In a country where originally, Worship of God was punishable by death. odd I think, don't you?

 

This is why Catholicism is often taken as separate. Because catholics believe they belong to the one true faith... please, don't laugh. It's a joke I know, but it's no joke!

[taiko]

It's no different in North America. Christians have one thing in common- the belief in Christ. There are many different sects. Despite that one binding fundamental element- many sects have different beliefs and practices. Because of that- they take their designations seriously.

 

Very seriously the Catholic fundamentalist do. You can't call them a Christian denomination for instance. History as I understand it

 

Jesus gave sole responsibility to His Church to the apostle Peter thus the true church has to claim direct succession to him. Which leaves Catholics and Orthodox, who don't accept the primacy of the current Bishop of Rome. Pope Benedict in Catholic speak. Because the Catholic is the only true church, Christ is only really present there. I guess he needs human help. That is why the sign of the cross is only made when passing a Catholics and not a heretics church. That is why the communion doesn't actually turn to Christ body and blood at other churches. About 150 yeards ago they went a step further and said that the current Bishop of Rome is infailable in Bibllical interpretation and moral matters.

 

While this is going on for different reasons different protestant churches sprang up and used to Bible to show where the Catholics were in error, the Catholics countered that they also rely on tradition not the written word alone.

 

When we get to America that wasn't under Spanish or French control, except Maryland, the Protestants got there first. For the first time the Catholics started behind another Christian church. Only after immigration of the 20th century have they become the largest denomination. But with a we are not a denomination mindset they are still outnumbered 2 to 1 to the combined protestant Christian community.