emptyme Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 A little Background: I have a almost 2 year old child. He father and I have been on and off for 7 years..When i got pregnant - he did NOT want to keep the baby. We had just started seeing each other after an 8 month split..I went on with the pregnancy solo..We are late 20's..He come from a good family, well rounded - you basically wouldn't thik he would do such "dead beat" things..he came back 7 months into my pregnancy..We were together and he left Yet again about 8 months ago to be with another women that he is no longer with.. I have done it all..I have acted irrational, wrote love letters, hate letters, gone NC, tried civil..EVERYthing!. At this point i just feel he has turned his love toward me into Hate because he's a coward. We are done no nothing.We communicate as minimum as possible for our daughter and that's it! Truth is - i have been trying to get a hold of this for 8 months and i am still back to square one..Nothing has helped. I have great friends and family, I am a good looking girl that lots of men hit on BUT i am so down on myself. My day is filled with obsessive thoughts of him. How to win him back. I dont want to let go because I just feel in my heart we have something very special that could be worked on and how great would that be for our child. My heart is broken. Some days i dont want to live. I cry in the shower and it takes so much energy to go about my days..I would never hurt myself but i think about it all the time. The pain is unbearable. I just want him back. Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 Sorry your going through this, but there is no way you can win him back, the only thing you can do is make yourself feel better not worry about the future holds and just keep your head high knowing things will work out maybe not with him but with you. You don't want to let go, trust me none of us do but after a while you realize its the only way to fully get over and smile again. It's hard but you can do it, you have a daughter to give your love to and who loves you remember that always, just concentrate on you and your daughter, your friends and family are there for you, maybe one day he comes back maybe not but you have to let go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author emptyme Posted April 11, 2009 Author Share Posted April 11, 2009 thanks. I wish that helped me. I just cant help but feel that i can do something to save this. I dont know whats wrong with me, ive become so obsessed with the idea that something needs to be done... Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 You seem obsessed with thinking that you need him in your life. The truth is, we don't need anybody to make us into wonderful happy people, because we can do this on our own. Were you happy without him before you met him? Why are you so different in your attitude now? What positive thing has he brought to you emotionally to make you believe life with him is better than before? Sure, you have a daughter. He is not a father. But you are a mother. Put your energy into doing the best for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 The best thing you can do to get him back is make your life successful and complete without him. This means letting go of him completely -- shoving thoughts of him aside every single time - keeping busy doing anything in the world BUT thinking of him or trying to talk to him. Keep talking to him to an absolute minimum only about your daughter. No personal questions of any kind. No checking Facebook pages or Myspace pages. Date other people often. If you find one you like focus on him. As long as you are obsessing about him he can sense it. And it repels him. IF there is anything to be salvaged then when your life is going well and you least expect it - this guy will reappear. However, you may be perfectly content without him at that point. Link to post Share on other sites
alwayssme Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Sweetheart I know your pain...but while it may be okay to miss someone, you cant let them destroy you like that... Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 My day is filled with obsessive thoughts of him. How to win him back. I dont want to let go because I just feel in my heart we have something very special Yeah, that's tough. Well, if it really is that special then love will find its way, otherwise it was not the right guy. Try to remain calm and have faith that things will work out for the best one way or another and take care of your child that is your greatest joy at the moment. Hope you feel better soon. Link to post Share on other sites
belocchoc129 Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 yeah, dont think about him anymore. Wanting a relationship with him is hopeless at this point. Trying to keep yourself busy - looking after your daughter, doing stuffs, going shopping, working, or trying to learn a new sport (I did that once and its really effective), or if you are artistic, u can try to learn piano or sth that can eliminate your stress and keep u busy without thinking 'bout him. Remember u have somebody to care (ur daughter) and u also have many pp around u who care for you (maybe you are so obsessed with the thought of him that you didn't realize that), open your heart and your mind, you'll see the love and the care of other pp. Hope that will heal your pain and warm your heart again! Link to post Share on other sites
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