avg_bloke Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 Hi everyone, first post.. To cut a long story short i was with a girl (ill call her Jenny) who i liked ALOT for almost 2 years, we were very close. I have never before been committed to anyone like i was to her! She is younger than me by 2 years (i am 19), she is still at school i am working fulltime.. i have an exciting career ahead of me and make good money. We broke up 3 months ago because things were not working out well at the time. We both had personal issues. My problem was a serious and growing drug problem and the anti-social side effects caused by them. My ex could not handle my crap especially with her own issues.. when i should have been there for her! Somewhat needless to say when her mates and parents found out about my problems (no one really had a clue) they didn't take it to well. I used to get on well with her parents and mates. Loosing Jenny was a big wake up call to me. I self-admitted myself to a rehab program and have been clean for 7 weeks.. and no plans of going back. I still have alot of stuff to work through, such as facing up to the issues that turned me to drugs in the first place but i am working through it putting in alot of time and making an honest effort. I feel like i am back on the straight. As anyone who has ever had a drug problem will know giving up is not easy. I have massive anxiety attacks, problems sleeping, head aches, lack of energy, etc, etc.. my doctors have told me it will take some years before i am, if ever, back to normal. Anyway it has taken alot of effort to regain some of Jenny's trust in me and last night she told me we can be good mates again and go from there. She said she cant jump back in and i understand that fully, i for one need more time and space before i can get into a relationship again. We talked for hours and she told me that she still thinks of me, etc. So now i suppose i have been lucky enough to be given another chance to prove myself. I know that if i want to be with her i have to put in a big effort and show her that i can still be the guy she fell for 2 years ago. I have alot of skeletons in my closet that i must clear up before i could ever be with her again. So i need some advice. I do not care if it takes 2 years to win her back i am happy to do that. I will walk over hot ashes and swim an ocean if i have to... it's showing her that this is the case that counts though! Has anyone been through something like this before? Any ideas on building this up from where it is? What about regaining her parents/mates respect? Link to post Share on other sites
Manick Posted October 16, 2003 Share Posted October 16, 2003 Man you really impressed me. I think that this effort you made was really admirable! If you managed to get over a situation like this, then building up your relationship with the person you love is really easy! Your actions, thoughts and words will win her parents' and mates' respect! Be optimistic, as what you think will make you act in this way and this will be positively obvious to the others! I think that people like you who have such a strength of a will, do NOT have problems on winning people's respect! Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
courage Posted October 16, 2003 Share Posted October 16, 2003 It"s not always a mistake; it was simply the best one can do under the circumstances. That one has provided (to him) compleate silence through the divorce, Making justments about a person thro When you respond to an unreasonable person by getting emotional, you give them victory. How do you manage unreasonable people? You dismiss them. Like shadows. Link to post Share on other sites
Author avg_bloke Posted October 16, 2003 Author Share Posted October 16, 2003 Thanks Manick! I hope your right. Courage, huh? Link to post Share on other sites
Courage Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 dialoue from above Can you try to keep your act to the contrary to one's best interest, your own. after all said and done is their a problem with my post that care to talk about. Please get hold of me, In the mean time grow -up. Remember action speck louader then words, this is the only time and the last time I will say this. Thank about it P.S. When find time in your so called busy life have your mother check your spelling. When a person"s come into my life they have come to either teach me something, or to learn something. Was that dialoue from above me to teach or learn? I wonder And try to remember it takes Courage! Link to post Share on other sites
Author avg_bloke Posted October 17, 2003 Author Share Posted October 17, 2003 Courage, thanks for your input. > P.S. When find time in your so called busy life have your mother check your spelling. Ill have her check yours at the same time. Can you try to keep your act to the contrary to one's best interest, your own. after all said and done is their a problem with my post that [you] care to talk about. Please get [a] hold of me, In the mean time grow -up. Remember action [actions] speck [speak] louader [louder?] then [than] words, this is the only time and the last time I will say this. Thank [think] about it In reply to your post, It"s not always a mistake; it was simply the best one can do under the circumstances. That one has provided (to him) compleate silence through the divorce, Making justments about a person thro When you respond to an unreasonable person by getting emotional, you give them victory. How do you manage unreasonable people? You dismiss them. Like shadows. I don't even understand what your saying, if you would care to put it more clearly i would be thankful. Thanks for your time. Link to post Share on other sites
SingNdAbLews Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 Congratulations Pat yourself on the back. When someone (an addict) gets clean there is much to celebrate my friend. My hats off to you and stay at those meetings and do your 12 step program. Write that stuff down and read it out loud and it disappears. Hey and if the girl dosen't come back around please stay clean don't do this for her or it wont work do it for yourself. I know I did it myself. Good Luck!!! Step #1 Admitting that you are powerless over your addiction P.S. Let us know how your getting along please. You may send a personal mess if you would like! If you have any questions about rehabilatation. Link to post Share on other sites
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