wierdmunky Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 And is expressively being more aggressive in a healthy way that is constructive to yourself and others (by not being violently or overly aggressive) a way to help overcome being passive-aggressive because you are expressing that specific anger in a way that is letting it out , but not being hurtful? I feel there are some people in my life that are like this, and are rubbing off on me, and I don't want to be like that. I do realize I have pent up anger that I feel I'm not allowed to express but since it's so built up I feel like if I do express it I might be overly expressive and be taken the wrong way. I want to get better at expressing something I would feel angry about without crossing boundaries because sometimes I feel that I have been too passive. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 The easiest way to avoid an over-reaction is to express your issues, at the time it happens. If it's expressed in the way of the action being the issue v. the person being the issue, it's usually (not always) easier for most people to handle. If you never express at the time, resentment builds. So does expressing and not being able to come to a resolution or one party being unable to stick to the agreed upon compromise or resolution. As for being passive-aggressive, it's the inability to handle confrontation. It's holding everything inside and lashing out in other ways, usually in an underhanded way. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 As for being passive-aggressive, it's the inability to handle confrontation. It's holding everything inside and lashing out in other ways, usually in an underhanded way. Yes, such as giving someone the silent treatment. That's a common one. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 Yes, such as giving someone the silent treatment. That's a common one. Yes, I personally use this on LS, with or without the ignore feature. It's the best way to avoid infractions, due to assorted master baiters. Why stoop to responding, when it's not worth the time or effort? Link to post Share on other sites
Author wierdmunky Posted April 12, 2009 Author Share Posted April 12, 2009 So what about in a family where respect is an issue. Where are the boundaries of healthy expression? and is picking battles the same as silent treatment? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 Passive aggression is remaining passive when you would prefer to kick somebody's butt for something they did or didn't do. An good example is in the bedroom. When a woman refuses to have sex with a man in order to punish him for some objectionable behavior, that's passive aggression. Another example of passive aggressive behavior would be leaving someone out of your will because of things they have done to you in the past. Everybody exhibits this sort of behavior at one time or another but people who are often passively aggressive have a serious problem. Akin to passive aggressive behavior is displacement of aggression...whereby we show anger to someone or something else in the absence of the actual person we are angry at. An example of displacement of aggression is when a man arrives at home after a bad day at work and slams the door and kicks the dog. He has no qualms with the door or the dog but displaces his aggression against his boss and other things at work onto relatively available objects...like the door and the dog. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wierdmunky Posted April 12, 2009 Author Share Posted April 12, 2009 Well I guess I'm questioning weather if it is a wrong or right choice, or is it even a choice, and if being passive aggressive is a not so good choice, than what other choices do you have? Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 Yes, I personally use this on LS, with or without the ignore feature. It's the best way to avoid infractions, due to assorted master baiters. Why stoop to responding, when it's not worth the time or effort? Gotcha!!! I've never been a passive-aggressive person in my life - too hot-blooded for that- but maybe here on LS, I'll make an exception!! Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 An good example is in the bedroom. When a woman refuses to have sex with a man in order to punish him for some objectionable behavior, that's passive aggression. That's anothe common one. People like this drive me batty. But again that's the whole idea, isn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 Gotcha!!! I've never been a passive-aggressive person in my life - too hot-blooded for that- but maybe here on LS, I'll make an exception!! There are ways of expressing displeasure in constructive ways. This should be done whether the other person can handle it or not. Words should not be loud and there should be no hitting. It is important, however, that anger be expressed. Once that's perfected then you need to work on not being angry. Anger is caused by things not happening the way we want them to...and why should they? Disappointment, frustration, etc. are far more appropriate than anger. People are taught anger by parents who don't know any better. We are computers that are programmed very early in life and if we want to live rational lives we should reprogram ourselves to live better lives. If you want other reasons for not getting angry, go here to see how anger can destroy your heart and give you an early death: http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/features/rein-in-rage-anger-heart-disease If you want additional links, simply Google "anger, heart disease." Stay healthy!!! Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 Words should not be loud and there should be no hitting. It is important, however, that anger be expressed. Absolutely. One should never resort to violence or drum-breaking decibels. I remember a scene from "Cabaret" where Liza Minelli was super angry so she went to the train station and waited for a train to come. As soon as passed right by her, she screamed at the top of her lungs to let out all the anger that was choking her up. I liked that idea! If you want other reasons for not getting angry, go here to see how anger can destroy your heart and give you an early death: [COLOR=#990000]http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/f...-heart-disease[/COLOR] If you want additional links, simply Google "anger, heart disease." Absolutely. That's why I try to stay away from loud, aggressive people! And anymore heartbreaks!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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