IAmtheWalrus Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Hey everybody! I'm usually good at knowing what to do in most situations that have arisen in my relationship. It is long distance. I live in NW Florida and he lives in the south of Florida and we are very much in love..but lately he has been acting different ever since his best friend came to visit him. I knew he would be busy and that we would not have as much time to talk on the phone or message each other during this period, which is understandable. Problem is, we are now having problems that we never had before. Things seemed to get worse on Saturday night when we had talked on the phone and he seemed agitated that I had called him before he was going out. I only did this because I was going to bed and just felt like calling him quickly to hear his voice and let him know he was on my mind. I thought it was very sweet and he'd like it. Since he always loved it when I did these things before. Well, he sounded irritated so I asked him what was wrong and he basically said I don't listen to him, understand him or respect him and if I did I would not have called and that he was going to drive his friends to a club and be back in about an hour. So while waiting I had fallen asleep and woke up around 2am and I had seen a missed call on my phone and assumed it was him and called him back with no answer. A little later around 3am I called him and he answered and I asked if he was okay and he said he ended up staying out at the clubs and had left his phone at home and was angry with me for calling and said goodnight in a very angry voice. The next day I thought things would be better so I left him a message letting him know of what I would be doing that day and that when he had time he could call me back. Well...I never heard from him until many hours later when I received this text: You need to leave me alone for awhile now. I have no interest of talking to you today so I will not pick up. Since you have no interest in listening to me this is the only way. If I miss you or want to talk to you I will contact you. So I respected him and did not make any contact with him at all for the remainder of the day. I did notice he came on FB and left two quotes as status updates that were about trust and jealousy. So I knew they were directed towards me. The thing is, I know I have trust issues but the reason for my phone call that night was because I thought something may have happened and he knows I'm a bit of a worry wart, but it had nothing to do with me not trusting him. I have no problem with him going out to clubs/bars with his friend. I believe he only loves me and that he wouldn't go off with any other girls. He rarely goes out and I want him to enjoy himself while his friend is here. Also, I am not jealous of his friend at all. Sure, I might feel sad sometimes that I don't get the attention I got before..but it's understandable as well. Still..my dilemma is this..what can I do today? Should I text him just saying I miss him and love him and hope to hear from him soon or do you think this would annoy him as well? Should I really not make any contact at all until he contacts me? It's really making me feel bad and I don't know what to do. I will give him his space to stay with his friend until his friend leaves on Thursday..but I would also like us to have things go back to normal and I don't think his silence is helping our relationship at all. I even promised myself that if he did call I'd not even bring up what happened, or complain, or whine or nag..nothing. Just be thankful to hear from him...but it's already almost 5pm in his time zone and he doesn't work in these days..yet there has been no contact. So, should I text him or not? I would like some advice or opinions on this from other people... My friend(male) said I should send him a simple sweet text and if he gets angry over that then he is an ass..but I don't know.. I am afraid to make the wrong move and make things even worse. Link to post Share on other sites
LikeCharlotte Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 "You need to leave me alone for awhile now. I have no interest of talking to you today so I will not pick up. Since you have no interest in listening to me this is the only way. If I miss you or want to talk to you I will contact you." Unfortunately he gave you the answer to your question. Just wait it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IAmtheWalrus Posted April 13, 2009 Author Share Posted April 13, 2009 Thanks! I appreciate you taking the time to respond. Okay. I guess that is what I'll have to do. I was leaning more towards not texting him..infact I had a text written earlier and deleted it. I guess it's best that way. I suppose if he was ready to talk to me he'd have contacted me. I just hate it. Nothing bothers me more than when someone won't talk to me or let me explain myself. I want to show him I respect him though, so listening to him is the best way. I just hope he won't keep me waiting for too long. Link to post Share on other sites
cybersister Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 agree, just wait. Link to post Share on other sites
KikiW Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Wow, I just have to say it's so weird that he went from one extreme to the other in a matter of days. I mean, I agree, don't contact him at all - you'll find out soon enough what the deal is - but that's just weird. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IAmtheWalrus Posted April 13, 2009 Author Share Posted April 13, 2009 Tell me about it, Kiki! Before his friend arrived he would contact me all the time, texts, calls, etc. We got on very well. He told me he would still stay in touch even when his friend arrived but things changed a lot the first night his friend got there. I expected some change sure, because it's hard to devote your time to two people at once, but I didn't expect he'd get so stressed from me calling that he'd flip out and stop all contact to "teach me a lesson". I'm in agreement with all of you and think it's best to let him be and see what happens. He hasn't changed his FB relationship status or profile photo he has up with me in it..so I guess things aren't over. I get the idea he is a man who is easily stressed (I just didn't notice it before!) and maybe he wasn't comfortable talking to me with his friend around and that added to his stress and so he thinks this is the best way...but it's a bit unfair to me, I think. I didn't expect any contact from him yesterday because of that text, but I've been going through a lot lately and I thought he'd at least have called or texted me today. Well, the day isn't over yet so we'll see what happens. I'll keep you all updated. Fingers crossed he'll realize how much he misses me.. Link to post Share on other sites
Rollercoasterr Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I wouldn't text or call him ever again. He's just being a douche because his friend is there and I have ZERO tolerance for guys who like to act all macho around friends. It's a man game they like to play and it's petty and stupid. Just don't contact him. If he cares about you and wants to be with you he'll contact you again. But once he does I'd rip him a new craphole for being the way he was. There's no call for that, friend there or not. My friends KNOW that when my phone vibrates I'm grabbing it as quickly as I can. When you're in an LDR and your communication is limited I'm sure that a good friend would NOT mind you taking 15 seconds out of their time together to send a quick text. So that in itself is infuriating to me as well. Sorry, I'm currently in my grumpy time of the month and things like this just really piss me off. Hopefully he's an angel any other time because right now he sounds like a world class A-hole. End of my rant. I need some freakin' chocolate! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts