Where should I be looking?

[Khabarak]

I'm a 20 year old college student. I'm a smart guy; top of my class and always have been. I'm trustworthy, and everyone I know seems to think the world of me -- friends, family, and professors alike.

 

A while back I posted a photo here and asked people for their input on my looks. I only got positive feedback which was very nice. I also posted a photo on http://www.hotornot.com... my rating after about 300 votes is 9.5/10.

 

I am a bit shy, but my confidence level has probably never been higher than it is right now. Please keep in mind I don't normally flaunt this information about myself, but I feel its relevant for the purposes of this thread.

 

Basically what I'm saying is: I feel like I should be an attractive person, and maybe I am, but I rarely seem to meet anybody, let alone the right "anybody". I think it is mostly due to the environments I'm in...

 

Right now:

 

-I don't live on campus, so that eliminate a huge social environment for me.

-I'm not 21, and I don't drink, so a bar or something similar is not an option.

-There is literally one girl in my major, and she is engaged. In other words, my classes are effectively all guys so I don't have an opportunity there either.

 

I'm looking for an environment where I might meet someone intelligent who, hopefully, is also attractive. I realize these terms are somewhat subjective, but lets just say I'm not restricting myself to girls who look like super-models that have the intellect of one of the world's top scientists. I also realize that there is no set place a person who fits this description hangs out but... Any suggestions on where I could go?

 

I'm completely open to online dating, but I'm not interested in paying a fee. One of these days I may try it anyway. If someone knows of a free site, please send the URL my way.

 

Thanks in advance for your input.

[NINEBREAKER]

if you want a smart girl i would go to coffee shops,bookstores, the coffe shop bookstore mix thing like the boji stone cafe i got in my town. libaries are good too.

[Phateless]

I'm a 20 year old college student. I'm a smart guy; top of my class and always have been. I'm trustworthy, and everyone I know seems to think the world of me -- friends, family, and professors alike.

 

A while back I posted a photo here and asked people for their input on my looks. I only got positive feedback which was very nice. I also posted a photo on www.hotornot.com... my rating after about 300 votes is 9.5/10.

 

I am a bit shy, but my confidence level has probably never been higher than it is right now. Please keep in mind I don't normally flaunt this information about myself, but I feel its relevant for the purposes of this thread.

 

Basically what I'm saying is: I feel like I should be an attractive person, and maybe I am, but I rarely seem to meet anybody, let alone the right "anybody". I think it is mostly due to the environments I'm in...

 

Right now:

 

-I don't live on campus, so that eliminate a huge social environment for me.

-I'm not 21, and I don't drink, so a bar or something similar is not an option.

-There is literally one girl in my major, and she is engaged. In other words, my classes are effectively all guys so I don't have an opportunity there either.

 

I'm looking for an environment where I might meet someone intelligent who, hopefully, is also attractive. I realize these terms are somewhat subjective, but lets just say I'm not restricting myself to girls who look like super-models that have the intellect of one of the world's top scientists. I also realize that there is no set place a person who fits this description hangs out but... Any suggestions on where I could go?

 

I'm completely open to online dating, but I'm not interested in paying a fee. One of these days I may try it anyway. If someone knows of a free site, please send the URL my way.

 

Thanks in advance for your input.

 

Find local swing and salsa dancing. Go every week. It's fun, everyone is your age, everyone is nice, most of them aren't into partying, and you'll have a blast.

[confused_2008]

Why do people always say libraries? Has anyone seriously picked someone up there?

 

What clubs are you in in school? I've found a majority of the people I've met (aside from dorms) have been through clubs. I'm not the best at approaching random people so it gives you a chance to meet people in a more relaxed setting.

 

Also, a lot of college kids use OKCupid. Yahoo personals and plenty of fish are the other main free ones.

[Els]

What are your hobbies?

 

Also, as for the online dating site thing, it's difficult to meet sincere people through there IMO. Too many people looking for ego trips and one night stands. If you really want to do it online I'd suggest other online methods , such as facebook networks (again related to your hobbies), forums, games (if you like such things, I know many people who've hooked up through online games), etc.

 

Basically, don't start off looking for a 'girlfriend', but rather start off looking for people who share similar interests simply to talk to, and things MIGHT develop from there.

[Phateless]

Why do people always say libraries? Has anyone seriously picked someone up there?

 

What clubs are you in in school? I've found a majority of the people I've met (aside from dorms) have been through clubs. I'm not the best at approaching random people so it gives you a chance to meet people in a more relaxed setting.

 

Also, a lot of college kids use OKCupid. Yahoo personals and plenty of fish are the other main free ones.

 

Bookstores are better than libraries, but it's about the same. Coffee shops are good, etc. Honestly, if you're having trouble meeting people in general, it's not the place that's the problem. It's you.

 

You need to develop your social skills and social intelligence. Practice interacting with people so that when you meet new people, they feel comfortable and can get to know YOU instead of that awkward you become when you're nervous around new people.

 

Get my drift?

 

PRACTICE chit-chatting with everyone you meet. it's a skill and you can develop it. PRACTICE reading body language to see if you can figure out how people are feeling or what they're thinking. Make nice with cashiers or salespeople, people next to you on the train or bus, etc.

 

Just practice being friendly and sociable and it will catch up with you.

 

And yes, activities are great. I've heard of a site called meetup.com which organizes singles activity events. Check it out.

[Khabarak]

Basically, don't start off looking for a 'girlfriend', but rather start off looking for people who share similar interests simply to talk to, and things MIGHT develop from there.

 

My post probably made it seem that I'm looking for a 'girlfriend' but I'm really looking for anybody. The more friends I have the better. =)

 

What clubs are you in in school? I've found a majority of the people I've met (aside from dorms) have been through clubs. I'm not the best at approaching random people so it gives you a chance to meet people in a more relaxed setting.

 

I'm Vice President of one club the Association of Computer Machinery (ACM), but those meetings are all guys, and primarily people I already know. I'm a member of a Math club, and two other honors societies. I don't do a whole lot with anything but the ACM though. I need to look into more clubs I guess, but I'm not 100% sure where to actually look... I guess I just need to do some searching or ask somebody.

 

You need to develop your social skills and social intelligence. Practice interacting with people so that when you meet new people, they feel comfortable and can get to know YOU instead of that awkward you become when you're nervous around new people.

 

Get my drift?

 

PRACTICE chit-chatting with everyone you meet. it's a skill and you can develop it. PRACTICE reading body language to see if you can figure out how people are feeling or what they're thinking. Make nice with cashiers or salespeople, people next to you on the train or bus, etc.

 

I know what you mean, and you're right. Thanks for the advice.

 

Thanks for your input everyone!

[iamfriendly]

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