Princess Posted May 9, 2000 Share Posted May 9, 2000 Okay, here's what's going on. My boyfriend and I broke up about 4 days ago from being together for almost 2 years. It was out of mutual disagreements and because we're young, we still have to find out who we are and what our life is going to be like. We didn't want to hold each other back. We still care about each other and love each other (like a friend) but we just want to get on our own. So, we decided to stay friends. Well, I went to see him yesterday at his house and we ended up having sex with the agreement of that it's just sex between friends, not a commitment. We're still really attracted to each other and that's why I think it happened. Well, we have kind of an unsaid agreement that it might happen again, and I think I'll be okay with it. I mean, I'm young (18) and I've only had sex with one other person. I think I want to keep doing this with him. I know it doesn't mean we're going out and I'm going to see other guys while having him on the side every now and then. I feel slutty though and I'm starting to think this is wrong. Someone tell me that I'm doing the right thing and experimenting with sex is what I'm supposed to do while I'm young because I'm making myself crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 9, 2000 Share Posted May 9, 2000 What you are doing is not wrong at all as long as the both of you are comfortable with it. In this age, it is probably smart to stick with a partner you know is not diseased, perverted, sadistic or violent. However, in time you will find this arrangement will not be practical. When either of you start getting serious with another person, it will have to end. Or if one of you starts getting serious feelings back for the other, which can easily happen if you have intimate relations on a regular basis, it won't work so well. If you can handle it emotionally, you are certainly old enough to have a healthy sexual relationship with a friend who cares about you and is supportive. This is especially true if both of you have the very clear understanding of exactly what it is all about. Just monitor that situation and make sure, from time to time, that he isn't making more of it than what it is...and you aren't either. You also have to tell him very assertively that if he decides to have unprotected sex with another female, you need to know. There are many varieties of STDs out there now, including some that kill. So don't get crazy, enjoy yourself, have a good time, and conduct yourself within the boundaries of your own conscience. As long as nobody is getting hurt, including yourself, all will be fine. You can handle it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
billy the kid Posted May 9, 2000 Share Posted May 9, 2000 Princess, I agree with Tony onlyI do have a different opinion.. I really feel like you should take sex very slow. not to say you shouldn't do it.. read plenty of books magizines( cosmo, glamor.ect) they will tell you how and what is dangerous, I would suggest waiting until you are 25 and had some long time relationships. again I am not saying not to do it just take your time... I have been around the world twice and still do not know it all or all the dangers..good luck, be careful and have fun... Okay, here's what's going on. My boyfriend and I broke up about 4 days ago from being together for almost 2 years. It was out of mutual disagreements and because we're young, we still have to find out who we are and what our life is going to be like. We didn't want to hold each other back. We still care about each other and love each other (like a friend) but we just want to get on our own. So, we decided to stay friends. Well, I went to see him yesterday at his house and we ended up having sex with the agreement of that it's just sex between friends, not a commitment. We're still really attracted to each other and that's why I think it happened. Well, we have kind of an unsaid agreement that it might happen again, and I think I'll be okay with it. I mean, I'm young (18) and I've only had sex with one other person. I think I want to keep doing this with him. I know it doesn't mean we're going out and I'm going to see other guys while having him on the side every now and then. I feel slutty though and I'm starting to think this is wrong. Someone tell me that I'm doing the right thing and experimenting with sex is what I'm supposed to do while I'm young because I'm making myself crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
Princess Posted May 10, 2000 Share Posted May 10, 2000 Thank you, both of you. Now I know that I'm not really shallow or acting slutty. I know I'm not going to have unprotected sex with numerous partners (that would be great though huh?) but I'm going to start to make rules. Here are some of them, tell me what you think: 1) Me and my exboyfriend will only kiss if we know that we're going to have sex or are having sex already 2) No kissing in public places ******Those two are to remind us both that we're not boyfriend and girlfriend********** 3) Be especially picky with the other guys I go out with 4) Don't have sex when I'm drunk 5) Don't have sex until you've known the person at least a month (this one is subject to change) 6) Make an appointment to get the "shot." (Birth control makes me moody) Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 10, 2000 Share Posted May 10, 2000 Your rules sound pretty good to me and probably would be good for a lot of people. I'm happy you're looking at this differently now. Just be responsible and sensible about your behavior. If you feel you done that, there's no reason to feel bad about whatever you do as long as your not causing harm to yourself or other people. Link to post Share on other sites
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