Working with my ex, Oh my!

[emotionalwreck]

Hello everyone,

I am sooo glad I found this site. Here is my story short and sweet. I was in an abusive relationship for 5 years. Took me awhile to recover emotionally. I havent been actively looking for a relationship. One of the guys I work with asked me for my number. I hadnt really taken notice of him before he is not my type at all. I figured what could it hurt if nothing else I will have a new friend. He was nothing like others I have been in relationships with I figured I should try and change the pattern of men I get involved with.. I really didnt think we would hit it off as far as being a couple. Well we did and I fell head over heels for him and according to him he fell hard for me as well. No one at work could believe I was dating him. Always telling me I can do so much better. Even so I really liked him and had alot of fun with him. I wouldnt say I was in love with him we only dated 4 months but I was getting there. We enjoyed alot of the same things. We are total opposites but he brought out a side of me didnt know had and I did the same for him. Anyhoo, last week he started acting funny. Not calling and texting like use to. And when together there was nothing there on his part. Well I found out he met someone online. He had been talking to her for a few days online and texting. They had not met yet! I confronted him in a calm manner and of course he denied it and told me to "get the f*** out, he is not good at relationships, he is done". I of course had to say what I needed to before leaving and that was it. I couldnt believe this was happening.

 

Well the bad part is we work together. We cross paths alot during our shift. The first day after he broke up with me I was so sick to my stomach I didnt want to go to work and see him. It was a very difficult day. I made no eye contact at all and tried to avoid him as much as possible. It was a horrible day. I have continued this each day.He isnt bothered by any of this. I see him laughing with his friends and texting like crazy and it just hurts worse. Today I think he and another guy were actually laughing at me as I passed by.. What the F***!!! The past few days at work have gotten worse.. Now that everyone knows he dumped me and is seeing others, I feel like a fish in a fish bowl. We work in a factory so there is about 60 of us on my shift. He and I talk to the same people. I have not said anything to anyone there about he and I. I dont even want to say his name. No one has asked me anything either The one thing that goes through my mind is that everyone is thinking " Hmm, cant believe she got dumped by S the dork! Whats wrong with her???" Its driving me crazy. I am wondering the same thing ...

how should I be at work. Do I show that I am angry and hurt? Do I put on a fake smile and be happy?

I dont know if I am coming or going! I dont sleep, eat or do anything.

Everytime I get a text my heart starts pounding and I am afraid to see who it is, thinking what if its him... it never is. I doubt I ever hear from him again.

Saturday and Sunday were the first two full days we didnt see each other since the break up. I texted him asking for something back I had let him only borrow. I do want it back but really I guess I wanted to see if he would answer me or whatever. Of course he didnt so now I have even more questions. Did he delete it? Did he read it? Blah, blah, blah....

I know that my healing time is going to be longer since I have to see him everyday. Am I doing the right things at work as far as he is concerned? Anything else I should do? What about our co workers?

I apologize if this seems all jumbled or I repeated myself but I can not think straight right now.

Thanks for listening

[Bleeve]

I work with my ex also.

I find the best thing you can do is fake it if you have to.

She never see me depressed or down. I am always talking to someone and laughing even if I am hurting inside.

I won't give her the satisfaction of knowing that she made me a wreck.

[TaraMaiden]

A friend of mine runs a company where his brothers, one sister-in-law and his own wife work for him.

At work, he makes sure they are just his employees, and he treats them in that way. They completely agree with this.

At home, he and his wife try to never discuss work, and domestic life is only that.

He keeps it completely separate and professional.

 

This is what you must do.

Discuss nothing private with him at work, an make sure you are very professional. Don't enter into any gossip.

Tell people you conduct your private life outside the gates of work.

raise yourself above it.

[era]

Hi emotionalwreck...

 

THIS EXACT SITUATION HAPPENED TO ME!!!

 

But what made it even WORSE was that he starting dating another woman from work!

 

I eventually was able to transfer to another location...

 

It felt terrible to see them both every day laughing and smiling...and of course knowing I was a source of office gossip...we had many mutual friends at work.

 

I could not understand why this happened to me, because he was NEVER my type.

 

But I thought heck, why not give this guy a chance. After a few dates he told me he was in love with me. Shortly after that I realized that I was in love with him also.

 

We were together for 2 and 1/2 years.

 

He dumped me.

 

After the breakup friends would ask how I even had a relationship with him since it appeared that I was 'settling'.

 

But he was my everything.

 

It took me a long, long time to heal.

 

To answer your question - at work, do not act angry and hurt, put on a happy face, and act as per normal (fake it 'til ya make it).

 

Unfortunately the wound re-opens every day...are you able to find another job?

[emotionalwreck]

Hi emotionalwreck...

 

THIS EXACT SITUATION HAPPENED TO ME!!!

 

But what made it even WORSE was that he starting dating another woman from work!

 

I eventually was able to transfer to another location...

 

It felt terrible to see them both every day laughing and smiling...and of course knowing I was a source of office gossip...we had many mutual friends at work.

 

I could not understand why this happened to me, because he was NEVER my type.

 

But I thought heck, why not give this guy a chance. After a few dates he told me he was in love with me. Shortly after that I realized that I was in love with him also.

 

We were together for 2 and 1/2 years.

 

He dumped me.

 

After the breakup friends would ask how I even had a relationship with him since it appeared that I was 'settling'.

 

But he was my everything.

 

It took me a long, long time to heal.

 

To answer your question - at work, do not act angry and hurt, put on a happy face, and act as per normal (fake it 'til ya make it).

 

Unfortunately the wound re-opens every day...are you able to find another job?

 

 

Hi Era,

Wow you have been through it. I dont understand it either. I wonder the same about how it could even happen, with him not being my type and all. I thought I would be safe so to speak from falling for him and possibly getting hurt etc.

I have been asked out by alot of guys from work and never accepted instead I go out with the looser dork as they call him and here I am. It really boggles my mind.

I have wondered about what I would do if he starts dating someone else there, I dont know if I can handle that. Just knowing he is around for 8 hours hurts.

Another job is not an option right now so I will just have to as you put it very nicely "fake it until I make it". I really miss being with him. It sucks!

Thanks for your input it has helped.