struggling with no contact, miss him so much

[Charmaine_Champagne]

i posted up a while ago how NC was helping me and how i was becoming stronger.. well i thought i was, its been 2months this week and it has just come back and hit me right in the face that i miss him, i thought i was getting better but i have had the worst few days.. maybe because it's easter and this time last year we went away together, or maybe it's because his birthday is coming up next week and last year we celebrated it together.

 

i think the main reason i am struggling with NC is because i really thought my ex would have got in touch with me by now, begging me to take him back which he has done before when we broke up once in the past.. or atleast i thought he may have contacted me by now to see how i am and what i'm up to.. i was coping before by telling myself 'he will start to miss me and get in contact' but now more time has passed and i've still heard nothing the pain has just come back to me 10 times worse. surely if he wanted me back he would have got in touch and not let it go as far as 2months?

 

if any of you have read my previous threads they'll know we were together for 6 years (broke up and got back together once in that time) but other than that it was mostly solid for years, we were 1st loves, went everywhere together for years.. now everything reminds me of him.. little things like movies we've seen, bars i visit with friends that i used to visit with him so even when i socialise i'm always reminded of him.. how the hell can he not think of me or be reminded of me?

 

basically he ignored me to get rid of me, didn't have the balls to break up with me i guess, kept me in limbo for afew weeks not knowing what was going on, it was VERY cruel and painful, after getting no response from him i went NC, he is very immature for his age. i feel now maybe he is afraid to contact me as we have been broken up once before and he knows how i felt that time. anyway the point of my thread is that i am struggling with NC i can't keep living in hope that he will be in touch, but i don't know if i should contact him? i'm thinking of breaking NC but i know deep down it prob won't bring me closure, i just need answers tho of why he wanted to suddenly dispose of me after all these years. i duno i'm rambling now i just really need to talk with him but i dunno if he will ever have the guts to contact me, i miss him. we were together a long time and i just don't feel i'll ever be that relaxed and open with another guy again. i miss him, my God i miss him. i've been praying for an answer for so long now as to why he did this, what is he up to, is he in some kind of trouble?.. haven't got my answer yet. the last i heard from him was a blank text message almost a month ago.. what the hell? any thoughts on what he might be thinking and why send a blank text?

[Darkness7]

i posted up a while ago how NC was helping me and how i was becoming stronger.. well i thought i was, its been 2months this week and it has just come back and hit me right in the face that i miss him, i thought i was getting better but i have had the worst few days.. maybe because it's easter and this time last year we went away together, or maybe it's because his birthday is coming up next week and last year we celebrated it together.

 

i think the main reason i am struggling with NC is because i really thought my ex would have got in touch with me by now, begging me to take him back which he has done before when we broke up once in the past.. or atleast i thought he may have contacted me by now to see how i am and what i'm up to.. i was coping before by telling myself 'he will start to miss me and get in contact' but now more time has passed and i've still heard nothing the pain has just come back to me 10 times worse. surely if he wanted me back he would have got in touch and not let it go as far as 2months?

 

if any of you have read my previous threads they'll know we were together for 6 years (broke up and got back together once in that time) but other than that it was mostly solid for years, we were 1st loves, went everywhere together for years.. now everything reminds me of him.. little things like movies we've seen, bars i visit with friends that i used to visit with him so even when i socialise i'm always reminded of him.. how the hell can he not think of me or be reminded of me?

 

basically he ignored me to get rid of me, didn't have the balls to break up with me i guess, kept me in limbo for afew weeks not knowing what was going on, it was VERY cruel and painful, after getting no response from him i went NC, he is very immature for his age. i feel now maybe he is afraid to contact me as we have been broken up once before and he knows how i felt that time. anyway the point of my thread is that i am struggling with NC i can't keep living in hope that he will be in touch, but i don't know if i should contact him? i'm thinking of breaking NC but i know deep down it prob won't bring me closure, i just need answers tho of why he wanted to suddenly dispose of me after all these years. i duno i'm rambling now i just really need to talk with him but i dunno if he will ever have the guts to contact me, i miss him. we were together a long time and i just don't feel i'll ever be that relaxed and open with another guy again. i miss him, my God i miss him. i've been praying for an answer for so long now as to why he did this, what is he up to, is he in some kind of trouble?.. haven't got my answer yet. the last i heard from him was a blank text message almost a month ago.. what the hell? any thoughts on what he might be thinking and why send a blank text?

 

I don't think it's necessarily a bad sign that he hasn't contacted you in 2 months...I know it seems like ages when you're hoping he will be in touch and beg for you back, but maybe he needs some more time to figure out what he wants right now? I have sometimes thought of breaking NC with my ex fiancee cos I want closure as well, but I feel I need to let her come to me otherwise their is no chance of getting a proper answer anyway. I think your ex will come to you when he's ready, I know it's really hard, but all you can do it be patient and have faith in your love. I think he will see you as a strong person if you maintain NC, he's prob waiting for you to break it and he will admire you for it that you're being strong. No one wants to come back to someone who is a mess and begging them to come back if you get what I mean. As for the blank text...I think maybe he wanted to contact you but doesn't know what to say, maybe he is feeling guilty about the way he left you with no explanation. My ex fiancee once just sent me a '.' cos she was too scared and felt too guilt for anything else. Maybe he is scared you will reject him after all of this.