playlislay Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Heres the story: Split up with bf/hubby to be in late Dec, he doesnt want to reconcile due to my own trust issues. Ive been in and out of depression over this as Im still madly and crazily in love with him. My friend, who I have known for the past 5 years, has been really supportive and has helped me get through this difficult time, BUT I know that he wants to have sex with me and I am considering taking it! I usually dont sleep around, very moralistic, but after all of the crap I have been through I kind of feel that this would be a great chance to 1)get a bit of loving 2)mayb help me get over him by recieving new attention. I do not think this man wants anything more than sex and we have been discussing it (boy, that sounds weird, discussing having sex? Very business like!) but Im not too sure how these things work. I understand how sex works, obviously, but what happens after? Have any of you guys slept with a good friend? How did it feel after? Did you go back for more? Im meeting up with him tonight..........argh!!!! :OP Link to post Share on other sites
JanetD Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 You state that you are "very moralistic". Your morals have changed because you are no longer with your boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Author playlislay Posted April 15, 2009 Author Share Posted April 15, 2009 No, Im still moralistic, but Im enjoying the attention. Im the kind of girl that needs to trust a man before I sleep with them, but I usually only sleep with men if I am in the beginning of a relationship with them. ) Link to post Share on other sites
dancehead Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 So what happened, did you do it and how were things afterwards? Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 I understand how sex works, obviously, but what happens after? I see a lot of crap in your future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author playlislay Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 Thanks westener, or what ever your name is! Ive got a bright future ahead of me thanks. ) What happened? Well lets just say he kind of wimped out.......but so did I! The weird thing is that when get to the bedroom we both kind of go all weird. All talk and no action. He text me the next day after I left saying 'I really should get some balls and make a move, lol xxx'. Oh I dont know, Im kind of giving up on this one. Maybe I should just ravage him in the woods ;OP Thanks loveshackers x Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Heres the story: Split up with bf/hubby to be in late Dec, he doesnt want to reconcile due to my own trust issues. Ive been in and out of depression over this as Im still madly and crazily in love with him. No, actually, you are not. The trust issues are the clue. You are in love with the idea of being in love - but loved the way you demand. This is why he will not reconcile. usually it is the case that if a person has trust issues, there is a controlling aspect to their temperament. You may love your ex- but not properly, not the way you should, and not enough. your depression compounds your problem. My friend, who I have known for the past 5 years, has been really supportive and has helped me get through this difficult time, BUT I know that he wants to have sex with me and I am considering taking it! Just sex. nothing else. he does not wish a relationship. Why would he not consider actually going out with you as a BF? I usually dont sleep around, very moralistic, but after all of the crap I have been through I kind of feel that this would be a great chance to 1)get a bit of loving 2)mayb help me get over him by recieving new attention. You see? getting loving? Getting attention? Understandable desires. Wrong solution. This is no way to 'get over' someone. However, this is an excedllent way for you to put your morals under the carpet, and confuse your head further. I do not think this man wants anything more than sex and we have been discussing it (boy, that sounds weird, discussing having sex? Very business like!) but Im not too sure how these things work. I understand how sex works, obviously, but what happens after? very clinical. very unemotional. Vrey disastrous. What happens after? he either pesters you for more sex, like an unpaid 'professional' woman, or you never see him again, it messes with your mind and you feel even less loved and aknowledged.... Have any of you guys slept with a good friend? yes, many years ago. How did it feel after? terrible. we realised we had made a big error. It ruined our friendship. Did you go back for more?He wanted to. became very demanding, and the situation became very uncomfortable. What happened? Well lets just say he kind of wimped out.......but so did I! A clear indication that subconsciously, you both know this is stupid... The weird thing is that when get to the bedroom we both kind of go all weird. All talk and no action. He text me the next day after I left saying 'I really should get some balls and make a move, lol xxx'. because it feels clinical, artificial and stilted. The situation is cold and unemotional. he could get that from a professional woman. but it would cost him money. But he realises this is the same with you. Also, he knows you are vulnerable with depression (will make it worse) and that you have feelings for your ex (very detached and off-putting). Oh I dont know, Im kind of giving up on this one. Maybe I should just ravage him in the woods Maybe you should address your trust issues, tackle your depression and find somebody worthy of you so that you can be emotionally and mentally worthy of him. Hang on to your morals. there are not many in this world, and you don't want to be a loser. Link to post Share on other sites
dave22 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Doesn't sound like a good idea to me. At least not if you want to keep him as a friend... Link to post Share on other sites
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