jsa1112 Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I am going to try to make this as short as possible... I have been with my fiance for 2 years. Before that we knew each other for 3 years. We now have a baby girl who is 8 months old. Since I gave birth my fiance has used every excuse NOT to have sex. The most common excuse is that he is too tired. I simply can not understand this. We both get up at 5:30am. He leaves by 6am and i get myself and the baby ready for the day. We leave the house by 7:15am. He gets home by 4:30pm at the very latest where i get home by 5:30pm only after having to go and pick up the baby. When we are home for the evening I take care of the baby in every aspect with absolutly no help what-so-ever, and make dinner and clean the house. He sits and watches TV, or is on his computer all evening. He even sometimes is taking a nap when i get home. I have always liked to have sex and that was not an issue until the baby was born. Since then the only time he has expressed any type of interest in sex was when we went to visit his mother at thanksgiving, and we were staying with his parents!!! He always is just simply "too tired". I try to initiate sex once a week, which in my eyes is way less than we should be having. Long story short I am lucky to get it once every 2 months. Every time I try he shoots me down no matter what i try. I have even tried to lay naked in bed and got nothing. Viagra doesn't help and I feel like i am just simply out of options. I feel that sex is very important in a relationship because it is a way to show that you physically care about your SO. He on the other hand doesn't. I fear that we are falling apart and I have tried everything that I can think of to get our sex life back on track.' HELP! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 You're a mom. EOS It's an oedipal thing.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jsa1112 Posted April 16, 2009 Author Share Posted April 16, 2009 I understand that you may think that his job is more stressfull than mine but I am the one working 50 hours a week and he works 40 as well as the fact that from the moment i wake up in the morning i am working until the moment i fall asleep. As well as the fact that I am the one to get up in th middle of the night to tend to the baby when he sleeps. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Hum.. this is tough... He could be depressed for some reason.. how's his work? He could feel he lost his place.. so he's depressed... It could be medical.. ask him to get a check-up.. He could have fallen out of love with you.. He could have someone else on his mind... These are all possibilities.. now you need to seriously talk to him.. if nothing can be done.. move on.. or get sex outside.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 I understand that you may think that his job is more stressfull than mine but I am the one working 50 hours a week and he works 40 as well as the fact that from the moment i wake up in the morning i am working until the moment i fall asleep. As well as the fact that I am the one to get up in th middle of the night to tend to the baby when he sleeps. No.noo.. I'm sure you're doing 10 x more work than he does.. you have your work.. the baby.. the house.. etc.. He only has his work.. He could be 'lazy'... simply lazy... in all aspects.. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Did you lose the baby weight? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Oups.. I should have add... (thanks Enema) He might not be sexually attracted to you since the baby.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 He might be scared to death that you get pregnant again. Some men are also grossed out (usually temporarily) when they see an actual baby come out of an actual vagina. My XH took 3 months to have sex post-baby; he was FREAKED. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Another thing. You worded your text oddly. You have "been with" your fiance for 2 years (24 months). You have "known him" for 3 years prior to that. So...you have a 8 month old plus a 9 month pregnancy = 17 months. You had 7 months of dating and being in a relationship. How excited was he about the pregnancy? Was this planned or accidental? Did the pregnancy prompt this engagement? He very well could feel overwhelmed by how a dating relationship turned into a forever-tied-down thing. Yes, you got the same deal, too, but maybe you were more ready for that than he was? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 It's usually more of a problem whilst you're pregnant - if the man is well endowed' date=' he can be scared of poking the baby. Just imagine what the poor baby must think with a face full of penis!?[/quote'] Since you are a boy, I think it is my duty to tell you it is dark up there, and the baby has a face full of cervix (well, figuratively). Link to post Share on other sites
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