hoping2heal Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Hello, I was a sexual abuse victim, who suffered both very low self esteem as a result, and a nasty habit of lying. Usually to make myself look better, hide things I was ashamed of etc. I'm currently in therapy, and have come clean with my therapist about my lying. I've also come clean to my fiance about it. He said he believed I lie for acceptance and because lying has got me acceptance; that I need to come out with any and everything I've ever lied to him about so that I'm no longer held back. So, I did that. I came out with everything, and there is honestly no more lies between us. On the positive side of things..somethings happened I was embarassed about that I know in the past I'd definately lie about..but for once I didn't. I was totally honest. I haven't told him a lie or hid anything since. He's still with me and wants us to work, but as you can imagine my actions have taken a great toll on his trust in me. I'm trying to be supportive by letting him vent his frustrations with my lying, letting him vent his hurts etc. I just wanted to know if there's anyone else who's gone through this and "lived to tell" so to speak? I'm trying to acknowledge fully how this has made him feel and hurt him and how to help him through this. Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 H2H, I have had similar experiences. I was a "serial cheater", which involves a considerable amount of lying. All that you can do is to continue to tell the truth and be understanding with your BF. But this means ABSOLUTE TRUTH, no "little white lies" and no evading. Eventually , he will either realize that he can trust you and will be ok. or he will decide, for his own reasons, not to try to trust you, and the relationship will end. Either way you will be better off, because you will be able to look in the mirror and see an honest person looking back at you. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
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