Stephanie Powers. Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 Hi, my new boyfriend's best friend is a girl. They often sleep in the same bed together and it really makes me uneasy since they used to be boyfriend/girlfriend. I have seen the way she looks at him. Hungry eyes. They've been through a lot but are just friends, he says. she is overprotective of him, almost like a mom or something and she touches his butt. He doesn't find it weird and she kissed him when he fell asleep on her shoulder on the train. What approach should I take to this situation so that he doesn't feel that I don't respect him and am just commanding him around ? Link to post Share on other sites
Wolverine117 Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 You need to talk to him. Tell him that it makes you very uncomfortable, and even though you 'know' nothing is happening between them, it still nevertheless makes you feel very uncomfortable. Ask him to talk to her about this as well. Just state how it makes you feel. It's not too much to ask for them to stop sleeping in the same bed and fondling each other's asses. Really. He's being inconsiderate. - the wolverine. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 That is NOT cool. The fact that he's letting it happen kinda doesn't say much for him, either. Sleeping in bed with another girl not related to him is just against the rules, regardless of the circumstances, when he has a girlfriend. Are you sure they're just friends? Link to post Share on other sites
lil lurker Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 Something doesn't sound right. Dump his ass. Link to post Share on other sites
Clancy Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 You shouldn't have to have to deal with the kind of stuff you describe. Both your boyfriend and the girl are behaving badly towards you. It really does sound as though he and she have their own little world going on and you are just a bystander. It also sounds like your boyfriend has a really excellennt thing going on with two women at his side. Unless this guy is ready to listen to you, respect your feelings and your dignity and have his ex back way, way off then I would suggest you drop him. Cut your losses before you get too emotionally involved . It'll hurt much more later on down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 It sounds to me like they are both disrespecting your relationship. If she was really a considerate friend, she would not be doing any kind of those things w/him /around him. She is strongly disrespecting you by doing things that make you jealous. Sounds to me like your bf enjoys the comfort of the both of you, but is not willing to make a sacrifice for the other's happiness. You should have a talk over with him about what kind of relationship is going between them two. and share with him that what he's doing with her is not normal when you already have a sweet loving gf by his side. It also sounds to me like he's physically in the relationship, but not emotionally or mentally. Maybe he isn't ready to make a commitment in this relationship Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 Since this is a new relationship, and it's already uncomfortable, get out while the getting's good! Don't wait until you fall. Don't wait another day to feel uneasy. Is it uneasy and strange. Run. Find somebody that sleeps alone. Link to post Share on other sites
MarieW Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 Stephanie, My boyfriend's best friend is a girl. My best friend is a guy. NONE of us would be as intimate together as your new bf is with his friend. What an insult.....he tells you that it's a platonic friendship yet they sleep in the same bed and play touchy ass together etc. She obviously has the hots for him and he's either too dumb to realise it or he does realise and loves it. He's a new boyfriend so it should be easier to break up with him. He has no respect for you and wants to have his cake AND eat it. I'm sorry but you are being very naive and silly. Please dump him and find a decent man who will want only you. Link to post Share on other sites
Alex Sanchez Fan. Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 Hmmmm. I don't know about this. Talk to him about it. If it stops, cool. Otherwise dump the chump. Link to post Share on other sites
lipglossboost Posted October 18, 2003 Share Posted October 18, 2003 My best friend of 6 years is a man I dated for 2 years and was engaged to. I can tell you that there is absolutely NO physical attraction there anymore. It's more like a brother/sister thing. We also used to sleep in same bed together when we were roommates after our split, and there was nothing funny going on between the sheets. That said, I don't kiss my best friend on his lips or touch his butt, so it sounds like there may be more going on here than they are willing to let on. Your boyfriend may think it's over, but she may have a different idea. I'd say it's time for a chat with your boyfriend, sans his "friendly" best friend. Good luck, ~Lexi Link to post Share on other sites
Q-Tip Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 I have a slightly different view on this matter. Theres obviously something fishy going on, and no matter how much we speculate we wont know for sure, so theres no use speculating. You are doing exactly what SHE wants you to do , by worrying about it, and speculating what MIGHT be happening. So that put her ina position of control , and U in a position of having to "Wait and See " You got three options (1) You can just dump the guy. This may save you alot of hassle. The down side to this is , there is a possibility that your BF is actually telling you the truth, and may be she is blackmailing him even, to b close to her. Who knows, may be she knows things about him, he doesnt want any body to know. Even if thats not the case, it could be that he is just friends with her, and she i trying to show you that theres more, to get you all worked up. I have to say she has succeded. So take this option if you think he is not worth the trouble (2) You can talk it over with him. Chances are that he would say theres nothing more than friendship between them. If you push him to stay away from her, he might either listen to you , or get annoyed if he is innocent. He might even ditch the friend completely and stay with you, but I would say thats unlikely considering he knows her for much longer than he knows you. (3) Ok here is what I would probably do, If I thought he was worth the effort. I would act as if nothing is wrong, and be totally normal about it. I wont show that I am affected by her the least bit. This puts YOU in a position of control as she wouldnt know what the hell is going oninyour mind, and she will be extremely disturbed as to why you are not responding the way she wants you to. This will drive her nuts , and believe you me, if you can keep doing that for some time, not even a very long time, she will resort to drastic measures, like either trying to forcefulyl getting your man to break up with you , or by spilling the beans about what ever she is hiding , if she is hiding any thing. Both these situations will work to your advantage as he will get fed up with her. Bottom line, If your man is playing games with you , LEAVE HIM NOW ! if the oter woman is trying to play mind games with you , GIVE AS GOOD AS YOU GET AND SHOW HER WHAT YOU ARE MADE OF With that I conclude. it would be good to hear what you think about this Link to post Share on other sites
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