Jamesith Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Sorry for the sorta long post in advance. So this is the last time I'm gonna go down this road. Not sure if my old post are still up, but I'm going to explain where I'm at my best friend and I have known each other around 2 years now. We're both 19 and in college. I've confessed my feelings before about a year and a half ago, She didn't feel the same when I told her. I know that this may sound like not really true but to me, this is the girl I've had thee strongest feelings for in my life. I've dated other people never felt half as much as I feel about her and I feel like I really do like her a lot. When we first had our one on one we went for coffee everything was good conversations flowing, but at the end I was like I know I should kiss her. But never did when I knew it was the best thing to do. Set day is spring break. She asks me out, so I meet up with her in Texas as I'm already there for visiting purposes. We head out to dinner conversation is lively and everything is really good seems to be lots of flirting. As that ended we took off to the movies to see Adventure land. Tried to be very gentlemen like and pay for everything but she said independent women here. So I was like okay might as well let her have her way. Then we get stuck in traffic as shes taking me back to the hostel I was staying at for 20 minutes. We finally get to the hostel we sit down and talk which is where my latest post comes in. As the conversation got deeper I said something a little mean but she knew I was kidding, we had been talking about how sometimes she gives this look that makes you feel like you've done something wrong. And I happened to reply it sometimes makes you wanna kill yourself, She chuckled after and was like wow. That's when I put my arm around her and was gently rubbing her right shoulder, after a while that's when she took my hand off her. After the night was nearing 12:25 pm she heads out perfect time were alone and I freeze up and didn't kiss her again just like what happened a year ago. I feel as if had I done that I would really know how she feels about me. Now here's my problem I really do like her, but I'm feeling as if there is no way in hell she will be my girlfriend. Don't get me wrong this girl is someone I'm not willing to lose in any way. I was wondering if there was anyways to show her I'm interested in being more than just some friend. Thanks in advance and sorry for the sorta long post. Link to post Share on other sites
windows Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 You took her out twice and you know when they say things come in threes. First off figure out a way to overcome this freezing up, the world is about risk and even a time when you have the lowest risk, you still have to take that risk. Alright consider this... you find a way to go out with her a 3rd time. Everything goes smooth like before and then at the end... you don't kiss her. What happens then? are you going to be stuck in limbo constantly thinking of her yet never having the guts to make that final step? My advice, go for a final time and if you freeze up; its over. Don't take it too harshly what I'm saying... just think of it like, if you're never going to do anything... you may as well stop. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jamesith Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 Windows Oh man I believe that 100%. I guess what I'm really looking for is closer, never got any type of closer before from her. Which I assume is why I'm so fixed on thinking of her. It's as you said, never having the guts to make that final step? I have to be willing as I've always told myself I was a risk taker and yet here I am not taking that last step. Thanks for the advice I guess all I can do now is see if we can meet up again and this time be willing to accept the outcome for what it is. Any one have similar occurrences or anything close to this? If so please feel free to comment maybe a way that you over came freezing up. Any other advice would very much be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
guitar23 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 I definitely know the feeling about freezing up. Im in a situation VERY similar to yours. It's a terrifying feeling, as I don't have a habit of freezing up, but I have time and time again with this one girl. That said, things have been looking up a lot recently. We've graduated and live in different cities, but in my heart I still know and feel something special is there. We're closer to being more than friends now than ever before over the past 4 years. There are nights I drive myself up the wall replaying my freeze ups in my head, and thinking about how different my life would be if I would have made a move. At the same time I remember the reason I didn't kiss her is because the time wasn't right. I also consider the fact that even if I had made a move then, we might have dated a while, but at those points in our lives I don't think we were ready for commitment and wouldn't have lasted. I might not be in reality, but I believe things happen for a reason. While many windows have been shut on me in the past, I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach that another is opening, and this time I'm ready, and she's ready. If you feel like I do, you really think, know, and feel deep down that she is "the one." If that is the case, I whole heartily believe the past couple of years of torment will be worth it in the long run. She is worth the wait. While a brief fling would have been nice a few years ago, I'd much rather have the opportunity for a long lasting relationship, which is seeming to become a big possibility now, and a lot of it is due to patience. Sorry for rambling, I will update if anything major happens in the next couple of weeks. If nothing else comes from this monstrosity of a post, trust in yourself and of your instincts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jamesith Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 If you feel like I do, you really think, know, and feel deep down that she is "the one." If that is the case, I whole heartily believe the past couple of years of torment will be worth it in the long run. She is worth the wait. While a brief fling would have been nice a few years ago, I'd much rather have the opportunity for a long lasting relationship, which is seeming to become a big possibility now, and a lot of it is due to patience. Sorry for rambling, I will update if anything major happens in the next couple of weeks. If nothing else comes from this monstrosity of a post, trust in yourself and of your instincts. Man this is the exact way I feel, some people say your just saying this, but to me she's "the one" And as you said I'd also rather have a long lasting relationship with her more than a fling. I know through my life a lot have people say is she worth it all and in a heart beat I always reply I know it's worth it. I just have the gut feeling that this time it's right. Thanks for sharing that guitar23 I hope things on your side get better, keep me posted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jamesith Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 Sorry for the double post, but I'm stuck still trying to find out if there is a way to not freeze up. Does anyone have any advice on how to calm my nerves and not freeze up? Link to post Share on other sites
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