would you ever get back with an ex who dumped you?

[jessicasilver]

if they asked for you back after a couple of months and you still loved them no matter how badly they treated you during the break up do you believe in second chances?? or do you think it would never be the same again?

[Lizzie60]

if they asked for you back after a couple of months and you still loved them no matter how badly they treated you during the break up do you believe in second chances?? or do you think it would never be the same again?

 

 

NO.. NO... NO... and again NO!!!! unless you're a doormat...

You're not a yo-yo.. and how can someone still love someone who treated them badly.. I just don't get it..

[xpaperxcutx]

So why exactly did he leave you? I bet he found someone, had a fling, and is now trying to get you back because the other girl didn't work out. Have more self- respect for yourself and find someone who will cares for you.

[Flying Burrito]

NO.. NO... NO... and again NO!!!! unless you're a doormat...

You're not a yo-yo.. and how can someone still love someone who treated them badly.. I just don't get it..

Its a f*cked up reality but sometimes people treat you like crap just to find out how much you love them back, or because they love you so much they want you to have someone better or because they love you so much it hurts to love someone that much.

 

And then, some people treat you like crap because they suck.

 

I'm in the same camp as Lizzie. No.

 

My ex is totally confident and can have any guy she wants. She came back more times than I deserved. She came back every time. I think she'd have a different answer.

[Aerorobyn]

It really depends.

 

If he broke up with me for another girl, or said something to me like "I hate you" or "I never loved you to begin with" --then there is no chance in hell that I would take him back.

 

If he broke up with me because he needed to find himself, needed a bit of freedom, or something along those lines...then, I may be willing to consider it. He'd have to really show me that he wanted me and would be sincere this time around though.

 

And I agree with what Flying Burrito said...sometimes people are mean because they really do care for that person You know that song, "You've gotta be cruel to be kind...."

[jessicasilver]

well he dumped me because he needed time, before we got together we had separate lives friends etc. and 11 months later, we left those separate lives and friends and became too involved in eachother, i hardly saw my friends he hardly saw his, i saw him almost everyday and we were almost like a married couple! but during the break up he hurt me alot telling me his met alot of new girls, and we can never be! he was never a partying sort of guy but i heard how his been going out alot to clubs and bars, his not the guy i first met and feel in love with so i was wondering would it be a good idea :S

[Lizzie60]

Its a f*cked up reality but sometimes people treat you like crap just to find out how much you love them back, or because they love you so much they want you to have someone better or because they love you so much it hurts to love someone that much.

 

And then, some people treat you like crap because they suck.

 

I'm in the same camp as Lizzie. No.

 

My ex is totally confident and can have any guy she wants. She came back more times than I deserved. She came back every time. I think she'd have a different answer.

 

Then you need to run for the hills.. if you're stuck with someone as f*cked up.. they don't love you too much, they're just 'not well'

[Lizzie60]

well he dumped me because he needed time, before we got together we had separate lives friends etc. and 11 months later, we left those separate lives and friends and became too involved in eachother, i hardly saw my friends he hardly saw his, i saw him almost everyday and we were almost like a married couple! but during the break up he hurt me alot telling me his met alot of new girls, and we can never be! he was never a partying sort of guy but i heard how his been going out alot to clubs and bars, his not the guy i first met and feel in love with so i was wondering would it be a good idea :S

 

 

Move on sweetie.. life is too short to waste it on someone who doesn't care about you.. really!

[jessicasilver]

i want to move on so badly but his the first guy i have ever loved, if only it was as easy as saying it! its almost our anniversary (or not anniversary im not with him), was going to be the first one.. im dreading that day i wonder if he will try contact me or even remember!!!

[Tryng2Trust08]

Why does breaking up with someone signal never getting back? I could see if u were married to someone and got a divorce, now thats a big deal...but dating, unless something went terribly wrong, cheating, lying, etc...Sometimes it's just bad timing and things get to be too much to carry on a relationship....it could be something outside of the relationship also and people do change.

[Phateless]

if they asked for you back after a couple of months and you still loved them no matter how badly they treated you during the break up do you believe in second chances?? or do you think it would never be the same again?

 

No. Not unless they demonstrate that the things that broke you up would be different. When getting back with an ex you have to ask two main questions:

 

1 - why did you break up in the first place?

2 - what would be different this time?

 

If it's a single issue that can be resolved, that's one thing. If it's basic personality differences that make you incompatible, it's going to take some serious skill development and strategy to work around that. If nothing really changes, it will just be more of the same.

 

Make sense?

[Template]

I think over time people change. We live, learn, and experience things that change us from the people we once were to the person we are today. Our values, morales, and priorities change over time. If and when the time comes, and that person matches what I'm looking for in a person at that point in time, then a possibility does exist.

[westernxer]

I think over time people change. We live, learn, and experience things that change us from the people we once were to the person we are today. Our values, morales, and priorities change over time. If and when the time comes, and that person matches what I'm looking for in a person at that point in time, then a possibility does exist.

 

Very true.

 

Now that I'm close to 40, I can relate to this. LOL

[sad_dude]

I think you need to communicate with him, I know how you feel, but you have to decide if you want him back because you love him or becuase you love the idea of being in a relationship. The person you are in a relationship is sometimes the variable and both parties can get caught up in the love of being with someone and not being alone.

 

It looks like he's gone out done his own thing, and sounds like he's missed/loved you enough to come back. But now you have to speak to him and if you really want him back for good, then put down some ground rules, tell him how you feel about the past, and how he hurt you.

 

I think you need to be able to trust him and for him to give you the right answers when you discuss getting back together. I think generally go with your gut instinct. If you know he's bad news but you are just making excuses don't go there. But if he is back after finding out he loves and misses you then tell him your not a doormat, set the rules and take him back with both arms open... and work hard at your relationship!

 

Good luck I hope it all works out for the best whatever you decide )

[kizik]

I've been back with the same girl three times now. There will NEVER be another one.

 

I was always the weak, pathetic loser who waited for her in the wings. When she'd dump one BF, she;d come to me, as she knew I would always be the fallback guy.

 

F*ck that. People don't change. R****** seemed changed for the first year - then she became the mean, immature little bitch she always was.

 

Don't EVER get back together with an ex. I'm here to tell you, it NEVER works out long-term.

[trent]

I think over time people change. We live, learn, and experience things that change us from the people we once were to the person we are today. Our values, morales, and priorities change over time. If and when the time comes, and that person matches what I'm looking for in a person at that point in time, then a possibility does exist.

well said!!!!!!!

[EmperorR]

There is so much people in this world, the only reason i would ever get back with a ex if we broke up due to distance, I'd never get back with someone who cheated on me (ex fiance), soemone who think they can find someone better me (this recent ex)

[xpaperxcutx]

Most people don't change. If they do ( with an ex), it's because they're putting on a front. Try dating someone who was abusive, break up and get back together again. He can be nice the first few months saying he's changed, and the relationship is blissful. But that doesn't change the fact that the person was abusive.

 

We seen our exes for who they really are. Do we expect them to be a totally different person? On appearance, they've probably became more mature, or independent, etc. But if they're placed in a position where they become more comfortable ( such as an old relationship) they're more likely to show signs of what we disapproved of in the beginning.

[Chrome Barracuda]

LMAO, why would I get back with her, what so she can do it again???ROF

 

ROFLMAO!!!

[Aerorobyn]

Most people don't change. If they do ( with an ex), it's because they're putting on a front. Try dating someone who was abusive, break up and get back together again. He can be nice the first few months saying he's changed, and the relationship is blissful. But that doesn't change the fact that the person was abusive.

 

We seen our exes for who they really are. Do we expect them to be a totally different person? On appearance, they've probably became more mature, or independent, etc. But if they're placed in a position where they become more comfortable ( such as an old relationship) they're more likely to show signs of what we disapproved of in the beginning.

 

Some people can and do change though.

 

I mean, if you were in a relationship that had constant arguments over small things (where to eat, what to do on the weekend, etc), then that can change after a breakup. Some people--me, for instance--don't really realize what they're doing wrong in a relationship until it's over and they've had time to think about things.

 

I know for a fact that, if my ex and I were to ever get back together, I would be a different person. It wouldn't be a front I was putting on or anything...because I truly do see what was wrong in the relationship (on my part), and I'm positive that it will be different the next time around (whether it be with my ex, or someone new).

 

 

Cheating, abuse, etc...those might be a bit different in most cases.

[samsungxoxo]

Yes as long as it had nothing to do with abuse nor cheating I would take him back. I took him back last year. Now the break up was only one month, but yea it still hurted.

 

Thing is I never made any rules. I never mention that, for me when he ask me back I just say yes right away and just didn't talk about it. It was as if nothing happened. I guess I must have a good defense mechanism lol.

[D-Lish]

I've never gone back to someone I had a long term relationship with.

Some of the shorter term guys that I never had a future with in the first place I have taken back short term (for fun), or turned to in lonley times.

 

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they break up with you. The things they say or do, or the manner in which they treat you post break often reveals telling character flaws.

 

If someone has dumped me and then moved on to another woman, only to come back again... I would never take them back. I'd never be able to reconcile with the knowledge that they had been with someone else.

 

If it's just about needing space- that's a different story. Sometimes people need to clear their head and when the smoke clears they know what they really want.

 

If it's a pattern this person pulls- ie: they break up and come back more than once... deal breaker.

 

It's an opportunity to really think about what you want, and not just what they want. If you feel like you are compromising your self respect by reconciling... I wouldn't even consider it.

[Nubemeister]

Nope. It was hard enough the second time and me trying to go through that hurdle. I did love him but after awhile of just sitting there and thinking of all of these things...you realize maybe we are better off our separate ways. He also has a gf so as long as everyone is happy. I am ok. I realize i am not good enough nor something great so I dont think about it at all. Its done and over with and its time to just live life. Mending something broken hurts like hell. I try to avoid that.

[lbarnes1]

I agree, if he treats you like crap, that is his problem not yours. Find someone who will treat you like a queen. There are plenty fish in the sea.....

[PinkRibbon]

Yes I would take my current dumper back. Sorry but I love the little short chubby hairy Hobbit and he treated me good and I treated him good. Our relationship was really darn good but we had 1 issue that couldn't not be solved. So he broke up with me because I wanted an argument about it but I can live with that 1 issue if I had a another chance. So bring him back!